Why is my ex stuttering?
October 18, 2011 3:05 AM Subscribe
My ex has developed stuttering when he talks to me. Am I being played? Is there such a thing as emotionally-caused stuttering?
posted by b33j to Human Relations (19 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
In the past, in very emotional circumstances, at our previous break-ups, he developed a stutter. At the time one reason we broke up was that he admittedly lied to me and most oftenly about unimportant things. This has left me with a lack of trust, somewhat, in his genuineness.
I ended our 20 year marriage in December. I allowed him to keep using my credit card because (he said) he couldn't get a bank to give him one, and I kept the house payments going while he was in financial difficulties. He asked me to work out how much he'd racked up in 6 months ($5.5k). I have also recently told him that I've met someone. He was already aware that I was dating and did not seem to have a problem with it.
In our split, I have been as kind and gentle as possible, always welcoming him when he visits, offering to help him with things, listening to him when he has problems. I've not criticised him for racking up such a debt on my credit card. I've avoided using negative words at all around him. Although a great part of our split was due to his neglecting his health (and libido), spending irresponsibly, and having a negative attitude to the point of complaining about trivial things, I've accepted my responsibility for not dealing with these things, and refuse to blame him for the end of the marriage. I never use an angry voice when I speak to him, and I'm gentle and careful of his feelings. I avoid rehashing the reasons we split, and don't rub his nose in the fact that I'm seeing someone else. In short, I try my very hardest to make this as easy as possible on him. He's always going to be in my life, as the father of my two children, and he has been a good friend in the past.
Now, however, he has started seriously stuttering when he talks to me (on the phone). I don't know if he stutters with other people. A quick Google doesn't show up "emotional stuttering", and I'm wondering if he's trying to make me feel guilty for moving on (because he knows I associate his stuttering with suffering), and causing his life to be so miserable.
His recent posts on Facebook (yes, I know) indicate that he feels life has become much worse for him, and that the debt that he incurred came unexpectedly. (I have offered to wipe the debt, or half of it, if it will help, though I earn 1/3 of what he does, and he does not pay me alimony or anything like that).
So basically tl;dr - stuttering because you're upset, does it happen? Is it an ongoing problem (over a period of days at least) or is he trying to make me feel bad, or some third option I hadn't considered?