No Love For You!
October 15, 2011 10:15 PM Subscribe
If you were unlucky in love for most of your life, but then things finally changed and you met the mate you feared you never would, what changed? Or was it just a matter of persistence?
posted by oceanview to human relations (26 answers total) 40 users marked this as a favorite
OK, I realize this isn't the most original topic, and believe me, I've read pages and pages of questions on AskMefi about dating, but please suffer this weary soul.
I'm 32, have never had a real boyfriend. I'm female. Mostly have had flings, 1-6 dates with many men, a few months at a time with a several guys, etc. I was definitely a late bloomer because of extreme lack of self-esteem. I recently experienced yet another family get together where I got to see that all three of my siblings have a significant other and I do not.
I was dating someone for about 6 weeks recently but it seems he's not interested anymore--I haven't heard from him in over a week. I was the one who made contact for the previous couple of dates, during which he seemed a bit cagey (but not cagey enough to be shy about initiating sex), so I wanted to leave it up to him to set up the next date. I have to admit that we probably weren't the best match regardless.
I got attached enough to him that this is smarting right now and I'm having lovely thoughts like "What's wrong with me," "Why doesn't anyone like me?" blah blah blah.
On the other hand, I have had 3 dates concurrently with another guy who I've realized I'm just not that attracted to, though he seems to be really interested in pursuing things with me. This makes me wonder...maybe it's just a matter of waiting it out until I find someone who digs me as much as I dig them?
So anyhow, my questions is, if any of you see my current reality as your former reality and you are now happily in a great relationship, what do you think allowed the latter to happen?
And yes, I have Intimate Connections and will re-read and do the exercises again!