Male online dating clichés

October 13, 2011 4:17 AM

I enjoyed these lists of clichés in female online dating profiles. Has anyone seen a similar list for male profiles?

This has been addressed obliquely, I guess, in some of the "help me fix my OKCupid profile" type questions, but I'm sure there are a lot more amusing (and potentially helpful) examples out there...

posted by pete_22 to human relations (13 answers total)

Honestly, some of those same cliches get used a lot in men's profiles too. (Well, except for the one about evening gowns.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:28 AM on October 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know why my answer was deleted. Are we not allowed to start our own list here? Weird. My answer was, and is: "Nice guy with an edge." I don't read a lot of men's dating profiles, but I've heard it shows up a lot, especially as a headline (on sites like Match.com that have a headline). Or, if our answers are going to be deleted unless they have a link: here's a link. And another.
posted by John Cohen at 5:31 AM on October 13, 2011

John, I think the moderation issue was my question, not your answer. But it's been edited, so hopefully everyone's answers will stay up this time. That video is great.
posted by pete_22 at 5:37 AM on October 13, 2011

[Yes, sorry guys; the post was deleted because of the chatty part of the question, and then the OP asked to reinstate without that bit. Links to resources are fine, but just opinions and discussion about clichéd dating profiles break the no-chat/no-polling rules.]
posted by taz at 5:39 AM on October 13, 2011

OKtrends covers a lot of these things.
posted by -harlequin- at 5:42 AM on October 13, 2011

Honestly, some of those same cliches get used a lot in men's profiles too. (Well, except for the one about evening gowns.)

Men ask for women who are as comfortable in jeans as in an evening gown. The "six feet" requirement is something that would be limited to the female-written ads — most men don't state height preferences. Yes, almost all of these are personal ad clichés commonly used by men as well. Most ads that I've seen are very generic and similar.
posted by orange swan at 6:33 AM on October 13, 2011

[Folks, answers need to be answering the question and if we could not turned this into some gender-based discussion about dating that would be totally terrific. We have MeMail for non-question-answers.]
posted by jessamyn at 8:12 AM on October 13, 2011

My favorite cliche: every single heterosexual man lists "The Big Lebowski" as a favorite movie. seriously. I admit I've become a little fixated on this and sort of discount profiles that include that.
posted by circle_b at 8:17 AM on October 13, 2011

Here's the specific OkTrends article that's pretty close to what you want: The Real Stuff White People Like. Big Lebowski is high on the list.
posted by The Lamplighter at 8:57 AM on October 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Similar to orange swan's point, men tend to ask for "easy-going girls". As opposed to men who want a high-strung girlfriend?

Also, I really hate it when people list "hanging out with my friends" as a hobby, but maybe that's just me being crotchety.
posted by Phire at 12:46 PM on October 13, 2011

Most of the cliches that show up in those lists do show up in male profiles - because how many people wouldn't want a funny, intelligent significant other?

Men don't want height, they want weight. Fit, athletic, height/weight proportionate, slender, petite...

[Incidentally, I'm totally in favor of this. I don't want to waste my time writing to someone who thinks my body is unattractive.]

A certain percentage of male profiles will start of by raging that women aren't interested in short/old/fat men, or that women don't respond to emails, or that lots of people are fakes. (This gets really prevalent on some subculture sites, but I rarely see it on OKCupid.)

"I like trying new things" shows up frequently. I'd guess that it's a more active/"manly" version of "I'm up for anything." If a man says "I'm up for anything" on a dating site, it often means "in bed".

He's holding a beer or a bottle of hard alcohol in every picture. Women do this, but less often - they'll usually throw in a Myspace shot or something too.

When talking about sex, men will often specifically mention that they love to give oral sex, even when they aren't mentioning other sex acts by name. Sometimes they mention that they can go down on women "for hours and hours." The former is common enough that it actually doesn't win many points in the casual-sex world, and the latter is, frankly, much more physically demanding than most guys realize.
posted by catalytics at 3:52 PM on October 13, 2011

I notice men often have a username ending in '4u' but I've never seen women do this.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 10:39 PM on October 13, 2011

Topless pictures. Oh my god, men of OKCupid, please put your shirts back on. If you have six pack abs, I'd prefer to figure that out when we get to bed. Or maybe, to the beach.

Pictures with three women hanging off you. Stop that. I'm wondering which one of them you were bedding.

Saying that you "like to relax on Friday" Right. Because I look for someone who wants to get worked up on a Friday night. For fuck's sake, tell me what you find relaxing on a Friday night. If it's going to a bar and shooting tequila for 6 hours, maybe we shouldn't meet. You'll think I'm boring. However, if going on an artwalk is your idea of a good time....hit me up.

Which is my next noticing thing. Guys asking girls to "hit me up." I think that means, "initiate a conversation with me." But I'm not certain.

Truly offensive screen names. My favorite (and I screen capped it to send to my friends) is igot99problems. Really? And you want me to go on a date with you?

Next. and this doesn't appear in the profile, but it's a trope since it's happened to me 6 times in three days. Messages that are less than 5 words.
My favorite of those was

"nice gams"

I'm going to let that sink in for a second. The only thing he did was comment on my legs. Without even using a particularly clever construction. "Hot getaway sticks" would have at least made me chuckle. "What do you like?" is another one. As though I didn't write a ton of stuff in my profile.
posted by bilabial at 6:17 PM on October 16, 2011 [1 favorite]