The over-examined life is no picnic either
October 12, 2011 6:26 PM Subscribe
I'm in a rut. Professionally and personally, I have long lists of projects that I need or want to get done and have made little to no progress on. I've made lists. I've made plans. I've made schedules. I've thought about why it is that I'm not doing what I know I should do. When I think about all the things I want to do and am not doing I feel ill.
posted by bunderful to Health & Fitness (15 answers total) 80 users marked this as a favorite
After months of this I've finally noticed that action - any action at all - always feels better than inaction. Even if I planned to clean the kitchen, and instead wind up making a pie, that feels all right. I did *something*.
But what seems to happen is that I sit down and think, "Ok, what should I do today? I need to do x. Y would be fun, and z should be easy. There. A plan. Hmm.... should I do X or Y first? Y might take some time. I'll have to dig all of my Ying supplies out from under the bed first. Maybe I should Z first. But is Z really the right thing to do? Maybe Z would go better if I first did Zi. But I can't do Zi and Z and then do Y ..." Eventually, frustrated by all my mental chatter, I just watch TV, which enables me to tune out all the crap and feel calm.
This pattern has also cropped up in therapy. Every week I have a different notion of what my priority should be in therapy - self-esteem? compassion? self-discipline? radical acceptance? awareness? finding a mate? fixing my anxiety? exercising more?
Again, I know that any action at all feels better than sitting around and worrying about what to do first / at all. But breaking out of the rut and actually taking action is scary and difficult - I don't know why. It's only recently occurred to me that all of the stuff in my head might *not* be important, and that this level of introspection might actually be unhealthy.
1. how can I quiet the voices in my head?
2. how can I be more decisive?
3. is this normal?
If you've dealt with something like this I'd really love to hear what you did and what helped you.