October 6, 2011 7:05 AM Subscribe
Somehow, I seem to have lost the ability to make confident decisions - and the trivial ways in which this happens is having a non-trivial impact on my life. How can I address this?:
posted by anonymous to grab bag (13 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
Please note - I am already in therapy, group psychotherapy if this is relevant.
A few years ago, my dad died and I went to the supermarket to buy food. I literally did not know how to do this, and I came home with a loaf of bread, washing powder and paracetamol. This is the first time I remember that paralysis of choice, and it's stuck around since.
I have hoarding/spending tendencies and finding myself in this situation doesn't help at all. I can't decide what to get rid of. If two sweaters are on sale, I end up buying both. I go to the supermarket, and, unable to apply a more useful criterion than 'I will buy what is reduced to clear', I come home with three boxes of cakes or four sandwiches because I am unable to choose what to have. It's making me poor, overwhelmed by stuff and, frankly, fat.
I tried a meal replacement plan recently thinking that as well as the effects on weight it would remove the need to choose what to have for lunch. Unfortunately, it reacted very poorly with the medication I take and I realised it wasn't worth that. I went out to buy a sandwich from the shop over the road. It took fifteen minutes. I don't understand why it was so difficult for me to think abotu what I wanted and take it.
I also have a job that requires making decisions, and my line manager has told me that I don't seem as confident as I could be in doing this. I'd like this to happen too - but if I struggle to choose a sandwich, giving a viewpoint that might turn out to be wrong or have an effect on the clients I deal with is scarier. Sometimes when I come home I feel this anomic 'I don't know what to do' and end up just sitting in front of my laptop all night.
Is this a common situation? How do you do it?