Follow up to this question: What are productive ways to be mad or frustrated with an SO? I want to honor my feelings and work through them properly, but I also really want to keep moving forward with my guy, too.
Context specific, here.
Long story short, my relationship with my SO has been a ridiculous rollercoaster ever since we got together, and the last month sucked so much that we decided to call it quits temporarily to give ourselves some time to breathe. We finally were honest about what was bugging us
(mostly we are just OD'd on seeing each other so often and spending so much time together; other myriad issues too) and we are keen on starting over and taking things slow. Dating, lots of good conversation, etc. We have determined that we care about each other deeply and though we are not ready to say "I love you" again yet, we are looking forward to that gradually being a part of our lives again in the future.
One thing that's getting hard for me to deal with is that sometimes I'm still really mad at him for stuff he said when we were fighting. I'm also stressed occasionally about the reality of starting over, which scares me because it's a little daunting and because at one point during our fall-out I became very okay with the possibility of dating again, and now that leaves me feeling guilty since we're working things out and I'm still curious. I brought the latter point up recently and he was so, so devastated by the idea, and now I feel rotten.
How can I honor these feelings of anger and curiosity in a healthy, productive way? I am tired of finding myself all nitpicky after a good day with him because I'm picking fights with him just to get my frustrations out. A part of me wonders if a longer break is necessary, but we had such a hard time with doing a break in the first place that now I'm not sure what to do. Couple's counseling seems too serious for us right now. We're both a little skittish about rushing into things.