I have been using OkCupid for a few weeks with no luck. And I do mean
with me. Is there something wrong with my profile? Something wrong with
I opened up an OkCupid profile a few weeks ago. You can see it right here
I had heard good things about it from others here on Metafilter and elsewhere, so I decided to give it a shot. I was pleasantly surprised at how many other people in my area share similar interests, personalities, goals and so forth.
One of the neat things about OkC is that it kinda forces you to contact people, almost making it kind of a game ("Contact three new matches to upgrade your profile!" and stuff like that). By my count, I've contacted about 30 close matches in the past few weeks with fairly typical ice breakers like "Hey, I see you like X! I like X too! Isn't it cool when..." etc.
So far I have had exactly two
replies, both of them terse "Thank you for your interest" quasi form-letter responses followed by silence.
This kind of bugs me in a way, perhaps because I had higher expectations for myself going into it. My friends tell me that I'm handsome, intelligent, funny, de-lightful to be around and so forth, but apparently 90% to 100% of my matches so far seem to disagree?
This is also bringing up some feelings of inadequacy that I have been nursing most of my life. Growing up, I was the nerdy fat kid and the butt of all classroom jokes. The target of quite a bit of bullying as well. I've lost a lot of weight as I've gotten older and matured a bit more, but those feelings of rejection and self-hatred seem to linger. Could some of that be coming through in my profile somehow? I guess you could say I'm terrified at the idea that I might be sabotaging my own OkC profile.
Here are my questions for the hivemind:
1) Is this a typical OkCupid experience?
2) Is there something glaringly wrong with my profile?
3) Be honest here: Am I ugly
? Unattractive? Seriously?
4) Is being "bisexual" off-putting to most women? Am I going to have to lie about myself to have a normal dating life?
5) What am I doing wrong here? What can I do right?