I need advice on preparing for fallout.
September 26, 2011 3:09 PM Subscribe
Divorce & Custody Filter: I think my husband is trying to buy my daughter's affection. What can I do?
posted by anonymous to human relations (27 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
First: this has been a rough divorce. My daughter is almost 6, and she's been through the wringer throughout the divorce. We have split custody, and I'm paying alimony until the final papers are signed, which is in less than 2 months. I'm broke. I'm always broke right now. The alimony and child support are making my bank account cry. I've got everything organized so that I can afford her birthday party in less than 2 weeks.
I found her the perfect present, for around $25. I asked her what she wanted, expecting something close to what I'm planning on. She said an Xbox. I laughed, because really, why would a 6 year old need an Xbox? She insisted that Daddy said he would get her one. Today, I asked him what he planned on getting her. He said a DSi. I mentioned what she said about the Xbox, and he said he might get her the Xbox for her birthday and the DSi for Christmas.
Here's the issue.
(1) She's going to be six.
(2) It's not that I don't want my daughter to have nice things. It's that I don't want her to be spoiled this year, only to be let down next year.
(3) I know that she loves both me and him. I don't think he needs to buy her love.
(4) We've never had a lot of disposable cash. I was the breadwinner before we separated, and now I'm completely strapped for cash. Our gifts were much more restrained in the past. I know that kids' presents get more expensive every year they get older, but $20 to $150 is a huge jump.
I don't think I'll be able to dissuade him from buying what he's planning on buying. How do I handle the fallout when my daughter comes home, to her "normal" life, with her new, awesome presents staying at dad's apartment?
Throwaway email is email@example.com