I don't want to miss the life in front of me!
September 22, 2011 10:37 AM Subscribe
How do I learn to focus on my own life?
posted by sprezzy to Human Relations (7 answers total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
I feel like I'm generally a happy person. I'm a young 20-something in the creative field--I have a great job, I have friends/family/boyfriend who love me, I'm financially stable, I'm healthy (as far as I know). I know that I am very very lucky (oh man, am I lucky!), and I thank God that I have so many blessings in my life.
However, I keep getting distracted with other people's lives. Even though I know that logically it makes no sense to compare myself to others, I keep falling into the trap. I usually feel great when I DO focus on my own life--I'm happy when I plan things out for myself, and when I actually buckle down and get things done I feel satisfied and accomplished. I'll finish a large project, cook a good meal, reach a personal goal etc etc and feel really good about life, but THEN I'll notice that oh hey! this friend was off doing something much more fun, that friend went to a cool event and I missed out, and this other friend managed to finish a project, cook a good meal, AND landscape their entire backyard and read the collected works of Shakespeare all in the same time it took me to finish my stuff! How the heck do they manage to do it!?
This is particularly bad when it comes to work stuff. I'll feel like I'm doing pretty well at work, but I get way too interested in what my co-workers are doing. Example: Team mate goes to talk to senior-person. I think: "Oh man, is he getting advice? That's a good idea, how come I didn't think to step up and get advice from that person? This will probably benefit his career. I wonder what I'm missing?!" I start feeling like others are doing the "right steps" to get ahead, and I need to hurry and catch up. I feel like I'm never doing/learning enough. It becomes very distracting.
Lately it feels like this kind of distraction has been taking over more of my life. I don't want to think like this...I start to feel anxious and my brain starts aching. I don't like the person I become, always consumed with what others are doing. When I stop and think about it, I KNOW that I have much to be thankful for and these notions are probably selfish and silly, but they always come back. If a friend had told me this about him/herself I would know all the right things to say (it's not about status/accomplishments, find joy in your own life, volunteer, etc etc) but I'm not living it.
How do I let go and focus on me (not in the bad way, but in the healthy way)? If you've gone through this, what are things you have done that helped you re-focus?
Thanks in advance :)