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What if you're not sexually attracted to the people you fall in love with in a way that's fulfilling?
September 22, 2011 10:30 AM   Subscribe

Where can I find out more about people with opposite sexual and romantic orientations?

I'm looking for information (fiction and non-fiction writing, essays, studies, anecdotes, etc) about people who are sexually attracted to one sex, but romantically attracted to the other.

A (weak) example of this would be: a woman that is sexually attracted to other women, but cannot form romantic feelings towards them. The same woman is not sexually attracted to men, but able to form deep, romantic relationships with them.

Does anything on this subject exist?
posted by Vrai to Human Relations (5 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
There are actually quite a few askme questions from women who are sexually attracted to other women but romantically attracted to men.
posted by empath at 10:34 AM on September 22, 2011


There are actually quite a few askme questions from women who are sexually attracted to other women but romantically attracted to men.

And vice versa.

Here's a Google search for you.
posted by John Cohen at 11:06 AM on September 22, 2011


I posted this question a while back asking for the perspectives of bisexual men. It wasn't specifically about the situation you're asking about, but it led to some discussion of how some folks are attracted to men and women in differing ways.

I seem to be wired in something like the way you're talking about, except it's not absolutely split or polarized (which I'd bet is pretty rare). I'm a bisexual woman who had fun dating men but only ever fell in love with women. I've now been married to a woman for eight years (yay!) but I'm still often physically attracted to men as well as women. I'm happy to talk more about it, but not so much publicly.
posted by crabintheocean at 11:12 AM on September 22, 2011


I think more than anything I'm looking for literature and objective (third party?) studies/explorations on this theme.

Thank you to those that have answered thus far. The linked MeFi questions posted on this topic make for an interesting read.
posted by Vrai at 12:35 PM on September 22, 2011


Vrai, there are links to outside materials in some of the old threads.
posted by John Cohen at 12:53 PM on September 22, 2011


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