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September 14, 2011 7:03 PM Subscribe
What's the proper Romanian phrase said at weddings to the newlyweds or bride (assuming it exists)?
I'd like to incorporate this into a toast for a wedding in the very near future in an attempt to make the bride feel at home and welcome. Please understand that my language skills are limited to colloquial Southern USA-speak so please phrase your answers phonetically or how you'd explain them to someone about 5 or 6 years old.
I'd like to incorporate this into a toast for a wedding in the very near future in an attempt to make the bride feel at home and welcome. Please understand that my language skills are limited to colloquial Southern USA-speak so please phrase your answers phonetically or how you'd explain them to someone about 5 or 6 years old.
Best answer: jesamyn is right, the usual toast is "Casă de piatră!", which you pronounce by voicing every letter you see. The "ă" sound is like the "e" in laughter", "proper", closer to the way those would be pronounced in British English, so without the "r" sound, if that makes sense (sorry, I'm bad with US pronounciation, so can't give you reference points closer to home).
I'd stick with this little phrase though, without the long one before it, since a. that one is way too long and you probably won't make it out of it unscathed, and b. the long phrase is more the kind of thing you'd write on a card than what you'd say by way of congratulating the couple, it sounds a bit stiff and formal. "Casă de piatră!" is what everyone would say during the wedding itself.
And, if you want to incorporate another Romanian tradition, you could try stealing the bride . In the Wikipedia article it is described as a Roma tradition, it is, however, widespread here and many brides would feel slightly cheated if they were not stolen. Basically, you lure the bride away from the main gathering, then make off with her to a different venue for 20 mins or so - maybe for a quick drink/cup of coffee, and one of the thieves goes back to "negotiate" the return of the bride, generally with the broom or the best man, and either privately, or, if the people involved are witty, publicly, so that everyone participates in the entertainment. The "price" is mostly some beer, or other sort of drink. Once negotiations are completed, the bride is returned to the sound of a fanfare, or some other triumphant music. It's an entertaining little intermezzo, and gets the bride to bond with her "abductors" - these tend to be people close to the groom, either family, or friends.
Have a good time!
posted by miorita at 2:37 AM on September 15, 2011
I'd stick with this little phrase though, without the long one before it, since a. that one is way too long and you probably won't make it out of it unscathed, and b. the long phrase is more the kind of thing you'd write on a card than what you'd say by way of congratulating the couple, it sounds a bit stiff and formal. "Casă de piatră!" is what everyone would say during the wedding itself.
And, if you want to incorporate another Romanian tradition, you could try stealing the bride . In the Wikipedia article it is described as a Roma tradition, it is, however, widespread here and many brides would feel slightly cheated if they were not stolen. Basically, you lure the bride away from the main gathering, then make off with her to a different venue for 20 mins or so - maybe for a quick drink/cup of coffee, and one of the thieves goes back to "negotiate" the return of the bride, generally with the broom or the best man, and either privately, or, if the people involved are witty, publicly, so that everyone participates in the entertainment. The "price" is mostly some beer, or other sort of drink. Once negotiations are completed, the bride is returned to the sound of a fanfare, or some other triumphant music. It's an entertaining little intermezzo, and gets the bride to bond with her "abductors" - these tend to be people close to the groom, either family, or friends.
Have a good time!
posted by miorita at 2:37 AM on September 15, 2011
Response by poster: Thanks for both of those, I'll delve into it the pronunciation bit deeper tonight and report back in, at work at the moment.
miorita: Maybe I'm a misunderstanding the stealing the bride bit. To clarify my relationship to the couple is probably more like a best man with a strong friendship with the groom and a casual friendship with the bride (but I will probably know her better than anyone else there for what it's worth).
Keeping that in mind:
1) Who is supposed to 'kidnap' her to the nearby bar/Starbucks/cafe? I could try to talk to the groom's brother and we could be the ones to whisk her away and one of us come back and tell the rest of the wedding party (probably pretty small, close family and friends at the groom's home) what's going on. Then bring her back unscathed of course...
2) I trust your advice but wouldn't want to be the one to mess things up with my execution. Is this something the bride is automatically going to understand and go along with? I'm ok with grabbing her hand and directing her, no questions allowed, to a waiting car but not if she doesn't grasp what's going on pretty quickly or if it requires that I forcibly pick her up and her part is to come out swinging and trying to knock my head off.
3) I'd feel real, real dumb if we got half way to the cafe and had to explain things and only got a blank stare in return.... I know she's a little more on the urban side of things and went to school in Bucharest but, from talking with her about previous relationships/interactions with men, I can understand how this might be well within the norm. Just making sure that this isn't confined to those of specific ethnic group that she may or may not associate herself with.
Wow, longer response than I thought... thanks again miorita and jessamyn!
posted by RolandOfEld at 6:08 AM on September 15, 2011
miorita: Maybe I'm a misunderstanding the stealing the bride bit. To clarify my relationship to the couple is probably more like a best man with a strong friendship with the groom and a casual friendship with the bride (but I will probably know her better than anyone else there for what it's worth).
Keeping that in mind:
1) Who is supposed to 'kidnap' her to the nearby bar/Starbucks/cafe? I could try to talk to the groom's brother and we could be the ones to whisk her away and one of us come back and tell the rest of the wedding party (probably pretty small, close family and friends at the groom's home) what's going on. Then bring her back unscathed of course...
2) I trust your advice but wouldn't want to be the one to mess things up with my execution. Is this something the bride is automatically going to understand and go along with? I'm ok with grabbing her hand and directing her, no questions allowed, to a waiting car but not if she doesn't grasp what's going on pretty quickly or if it requires that I forcibly pick her up and her part is to come out swinging and trying to knock my head off.
3) I'd feel real, real dumb if we got half way to the cafe and had to explain things and only got a blank stare in return.... I know she's a little more on the urban side of things and went to school in Bucharest but, from talking with her about previous relationships/interactions with men, I can understand how this might be well within the norm. Just making sure that this isn't confined to those of specific ethnic group that she may or may not associate herself with.
Wow, longer response than I thought... thanks again miorita and jessamyn!
posted by RolandOfEld at 6:08 AM on September 15, 2011
For shame, I just lost my response to the ether...
Anyway, RolandOfEld, I meanwhile managed to find some useful (I hope) links, here is somebody asking for advice on Romanian wedding customs, here is a guy's wedding blog with a description of the "kidnapping", here's the page on Romanian customs built for Expo Shanghai 2010, with a few sentences on bride stealing.
Regarding your questions:
1. Given her peculiar circumstances (far away from home, probably few of her own friends/family there), I think it would be a good idea to have at least one familiar face there - so yes, probably you and/or the groom's brother. You can get others to participate - but I would probably keep the party to 3-5, and if the original party is quite small, then definitely not more.
2. As I said, this is a very wide-spread tradition in Romania (here is the Google serach for "furatul miresei", Romanian for "stealing the bride", and here Youtube links, so you can see it in action, too). But you asking this makes me think it might not be a bad idea to prime your main actors. In fact, I think these days it is frequently discussed a bit beforehand, as in, the thieves would let the couple know they plan to do the stealing at some point. It's not like this spoils the surprise - everybody expects it at a wedding anyway, but the exact manner, timing, price demanded still keep people on their toes. So yes, maybe talk to them before the wedding, so they know what to expect. And if she is utterly horrified (I'd be surprised, but you never know), then there's no harm done. It will probably still be heartwarming for her to know you have tried to make her feel at home.
3. Just a few more things:
- timing: make sure it does not interfer with other ritual moments (we have guest greeting, cake cutting, gift receiving, and a few others).
- about the price: this can be anything from drinks to getting the groom to do something, such as compose a speech to his bride, sing songs, do whatever else he is good at and is appropriate as public entertainment. Last wedding I went to, the guy had to make a declaration to his bride seamlessly building in some medical term (they were medics). He didn't do a great job, but she seemed thrilled, and everybody else went cooing over them. My personal preference here is something that gets everybody to be somehow involved - so maybe he has to write an ode to the whole assembly? Or some such, depends very much on the kind of person the groom is.
I think this covers it. You can email me if you have more questions, I'll be checking them tomorrow morning (Romanian time).
Have a wonderful time, and "Casa de piatra" to the couple!
posted by miorita at 2:28 PM on September 15, 2011
Anyway, RolandOfEld, I meanwhile managed to find some useful (I hope) links, here is somebody asking for advice on Romanian wedding customs, here is a guy's wedding blog with a description of the "kidnapping", here's the page on Romanian customs built for Expo Shanghai 2010, with a few sentences on bride stealing.
Regarding your questions:
1. Given her peculiar circumstances (far away from home, probably few of her own friends/family there), I think it would be a good idea to have at least one familiar face there - so yes, probably you and/or the groom's brother. You can get others to participate - but I would probably keep the party to 3-5, and if the original party is quite small, then definitely not more.
2. As I said, this is a very wide-spread tradition in Romania (here is the Google serach for "furatul miresei", Romanian for "stealing the bride", and here Youtube links, so you can see it in action, too). But you asking this makes me think it might not be a bad idea to prime your main actors. In fact, I think these days it is frequently discussed a bit beforehand, as in, the thieves would let the couple know they plan to do the stealing at some point. It's not like this spoils the surprise - everybody expects it at a wedding anyway, but the exact manner, timing, price demanded still keep people on their toes. So yes, maybe talk to them before the wedding, so they know what to expect. And if she is utterly horrified (I'd be surprised, but you never know), then there's no harm done. It will probably still be heartwarming for her to know you have tried to make her feel at home.
3. Just a few more things:
- timing: make sure it does not interfer with other ritual moments (we have guest greeting, cake cutting, gift receiving, and a few others).
- about the price: this can be anything from drinks to getting the groom to do something, such as compose a speech to his bride, sing songs, do whatever else he is good at and is appropriate as public entertainment. Last wedding I went to, the guy had to make a declaration to his bride seamlessly building in some medical term (they were medics). He didn't do a great job, but she seemed thrilled, and everybody else went cooing over them. My personal preference here is something that gets everybody to be somehow involved - so maybe he has to write an ode to the whole assembly? Or some such, depends very much on the kind of person the groom is.
I think this covers it. You can email me if you have more questions, I'll be checking them tomorrow morning (Romanian time).
Have a wonderful time, and "Casa de piatra" to the couple!
posted by miorita at 2:28 PM on September 15, 2011
Response by poster: Update:
The wedding went great, my spiel about the happy couple went over well, and I stuck to the simple 'house of stone' saying as my wrapup, even though the bride's new father in law (who spoke immediately before I did) basically centered his speech/toast on the phrase and broke it down pretty well. *shrug*, the day went really well so I'm not complaining, trust me.
Oh, no bride kidnapping was performed, wouldn't have really fit into the wedding (or the bride's) vibe. They kept it really simple and straight forward. Interesting reading though, and perhaps it'll help someone else out in the archives.
Thanks again.
posted by RolandOfEld at 2:05 PM on September 19, 2011
The wedding went great, my spiel about the happy couple went over well, and I stuck to the simple 'house of stone' saying as my wrapup, even though the bride's new father in law (who spoke immediately before I did) basically centered his speech/toast on the phrase and broke it down pretty well. *shrug*, the day went really well so I'm not complaining, trust me.
Oh, no bride kidnapping was performed, wouldn't have really fit into the wedding (or the bride's) vibe. They kept it really simple and straight forward. Interesting reading though, and perhaps it'll help someone else out in the archives.
Thanks again.
posted by RolandOfEld at 2:05 PM on September 19, 2011
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Felicitări şi cele mai calde urări de bine pentru amândoi cu ocazia nunţii! Casă de piatră!
The first sentence is fairly straightforward "Congratulations and warm wishes to both of you on your wedding day." and is pronounced roughly
feh-lee-see-TUH-ree she chel ma-ee cahld oo-RUH-ree day BEE-nay PEN-troo ah-MUN-do-ee coo oh-cah-ZEE-uh noont-see
The last part is the sort of idiomatic and it translated literally to "house of stone" which symbolizes a strong marriage. It's pronounced more like
CASS-uh day pee-AH-truh
My pronunciation is pretty lousy so I'd defer to anyone who had better pronunciation ideas, but this is generally the wedding tradition. Also people say "noroc" [no-ROAK] sometimes in toasts, just means good luck or "cheers"
posted by jessamyn at 9:04 PM on September 14, 2011 [1 favorite]