Is he a player or am I nuts or both?
September 12, 2011 1:01 PM Subscribe
What should I do about this romantic episode?
posted by anonymous to human relations (39 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I met this guy at a festival. He was super good looking and came up to me, directly asked for my phone number right off the bat. I got the impression he was a real smooth operator, but I liked it and I have been lonely for SO F’ING long because I live in a really remote, foreign area where there are not many single men that I can talk to. We danced and kissed. He got in touch with me the next day and we hung out. Great company, kissing, etc, and then we parted ways. We hung out a few more times, it was awesome. He made some grand professions about how much he liked me, how he wanted to have a LDR, how great he thought I was, etc. I figured he wanted to just get laid and laughed it all off. He was just so attractive (I am not unattractive, but like I said, there aren't many guys around here), and it seemed so fast, so I figured it could not be genuine. I’m also pretty skeptical of men in general, I know. I do have trust issues, etc, that I'm working on.
Eventually, we did sleep together. I figured it was kind of over then, because it seemed like that was what he was after only, but he continued. He said he was going to call me every day and that this was the start of “something good.” I remember being fairly mystified and speechless. He said, “Let's see.”
I was trying to put it all out of my mind, but, like I said, it’s a cold and lonely world here. So, I called him myself the day after he left. We had about a twenty minute conversation in which he said that he liked me so much, he was thinking of me, that he was going to come visit, I was going to come to where he lived, etc. I didn’t hear anything from him for two days, so texted him something conversational. He didn’t answer. I then just asked him if he was a liar through text. He said he didn’t know what I was talking about, he really liked me, he wasn’t seeing anyone. The next day, I texted him a small thing again. He responded by calling me, but I missed the call. I called him back twice but he didn’t answer.
Since then, nothing. It’s been a week. I feel pretty embarrassed, especially since I called twice, so I haven’t initiated any contact. He hasn’t called me or anything, either.
I can’t really figure out if he is a douche or if I am a crazy, or both. I want to trust my gut, which says he was messing with me, but I don't know.
Why would a guy say such things and then not pursue? Did I scare him because I called him and I didn’t give an opportunity? Was I trying too hard and being too cynical at the same time? Should I have a conversation with him, or just let it go?