"Hey I had a really great time not kissing you tonight!"
September 12, 2011 9:12 AM Subscribe
I've got to confront this girl about her mixed messages, but how do I do that?
posted by OrangeDrink to Human Relations (33 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I'll keep this short as I can - I know none of you can tell me what this woman actually wants from me, and that the only way I can figure it out is to ask her directly, but I have no real idea how to go about that.
We've been going on dates for a solid month, and the dates are usually really long - 6, 7 hours of chatting, some flirting. About two weeks ago, we accidentally got drunk in the afternoon and made out in a bar, and then a week later I invited her to my house for dinner. There was a little kissing, but not much, and she was very limp in my arms and she said she was tired and took off. This was at about 3am, so I don't blame her. Also, her OkCupid profile makes some comments about being sexually passive.
Since then, we've been seeing eachother, but she's not been very receptive to my attempts to kiss her, but continues to text/email me all day. On Friday, we go out, I give her a gift, she's super flirty, and I'm putting my arm around her and she's putting her face in my neck, but then at the end of the night she doesn't let me kiss her, and turns down the invitation to have a good night drink at my house. So, I think after tonight's date, if she doesn't want to come back to my place, it probably means she's not physically interested in me. But, maybe not? I don't really get it - I have to ask her what the hell's going on.
But how do I do that? The date is going to see a show, so I couldn't really ask her then, and I don't want to make it a weird thing by asking her before the date, and it seems strange to ask AFTER I'd asked her to come up and she's said no. Do y'all have any thoughts? Is it better to do this outside of a dating context? What the hell do I even say? I really like this girl, but I'm super confused and ready to bail just to avoid the rollercoaster.
Thank you! I'm an idiot, and she's confusing. It's a terrible combo.