Meetup with Ex Gone Wrong
September 11, 2011 11:38 AM Subscribe
Met up with ex-girlfriend six months after the break-up. Things went well, and then they didn't. Am blaming myself a lot and need to know what, if I anything, I can do.
posted by anonymous to human relations (31 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
We dated for 8 months. She broke up with me. I went into no contact/low contact mode. In the past few months, she began to contact me more, saying that she missed me and asking to meet-up. I finally agreed. We met again the first time three weeks ago, and it was fun, flirty. Then this past weekend, we went to dinner near my place.
We had a good time at the dinner. We had no problem talking, making jokes. It felt like a date. We came back to my apartment afterward for her to try a dessert I had made. Then at one point while we were standing up, I leaned over and kissed her. She seemed to respond, but then backed away and said that she was feeling uncomfortable.
I backed away. I sighed and said, listen I just want you to be happy, and if you are happier without me, I can be gone. She said that I was over-reacting because I was hurt. I said that I wanted to know where her head was. She said she didn't want a relationship. She wanted friendship. I said that I already have enough friends. She said maybe I was rejecting her. I said, no it's her choice. I told her that unless she wants to have something with me we probably should not be in touch. She nodded, looking upset. We hugged and I told her how much I cared about her. She left, and then I deleted her off Facebook.
Three nights later, I broke my stance. I texted her to see if she heard back about a job she really needed. She said no, haven't heard, and when I asked if she wanted to talk, she said she was helping her sister out with college apps and wasn't in the mindsset. I left it at that.
Now I am beating up myself over what had happened. I feel like i may have rushed things too quickly. And now there's this cloud hanging over us. I would like to have her back, and even though I knew the chances were slim, I feel they are even worse now. If she doesn't want a relationship now, I don't want to close the door to a relationship later, if that's still possible.
Is there anything I can do here? Friends have suggested anything from disappearing to writing her a letter that's collected and calm-headed.