Surprisingly difficult surprise party planning...
September 1, 2011 6:16 PM Subscribe
What should I do/get for my boyfriend's birthday when we've only been dating 6 months and I haven't met his friends?
posted by Pomo to human relations (14 answers total)
I've looked at other "what-should-I-do-for-the-birthday" questions but nothing really seems a match...
I'm in a relationship with a great guy I met earlier this year. He's met a number of my friends, and I've met his immediate and extended family members, as well as two out-of-town friends. However, I haven't met any of his friends who live here. I know he's not a super-sociable person and hasn't actually hung out with anyone recently except occasional lunch dates, since I see him every evening. I don't think he's intentionally keeping me away from them, but I suppose it's possible (I have trust/jealousy issues from past relationships so perhaps he's protecting my feelings, since, I believe, most of his friends are women). More likely, I think, is that he's a private, bookish type who doesn't need a lot of social interaction.
That said, his 30th birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and I feel like we've been together long enough that it would, normally, be incumbent upon me to plan something for it. In past relationships, that would involve contacting his group of friends, and inviting them out for a surprise dinner/drinks. However, in this case I don't even really know who he is closest with, or how to get ahold of them. I can't just trawl Facebook because he hasn't used it for a couple years.
On the other hand, I don't want to just plan privately for the two of us because that seems presumptuous. I shouldn't monopolize his time on a milestone birthday!
What should I do? Contact his siblings and see what they recommend? Drop hints or even ask him outright? Plan something private and then let him invite along whoever he chooses?
Secondly, I am not sure what I should spend on a gift. I love gift-giving and tend toward the extravagant, but don't want to scare him off. I have purchased concert tickets but they're not that pricey. At the 6 month mark, where both parties earn good incomes, what should be spent on a gift?
Thanks in advance!