Speaking of anxiety...
August 25, 2011 9:28 AM Subscribe
Speech class anxiety, help!
I have to take a speech class in order to finish up my associate degree. I’m really not looking forward to it, because I anticipate basically four solid months of anxiety. I’ve given presentations before and they’ve gone ok, but those were for classes in which the presentation was a small part of the grade and the instructor was not too picky about things like length, reading instead of speaking, etc. As long as you actually wrote a halfway decent paper and didn’t actively shit yourself while presenting it, you’d get an A or a B.
This is the first class where how well you present is the whole point, and I’m just really dreading it. I don’t even care if I get an A, I just want to pass and I want not to be a sniveling ball of anxiety for the entire semester. It’s been a few months since the last bout of waking up at 4 a.m. every day with my heart pounding, and I don’t look forward to its return.
Specific problems:
I won’t be able to have extensive notes to refer to while I’m presenting, because we’re only allowed to use two 4x6 note cards, with writing on one side only. I can’t cram a lot onto a card because I’m middle-aged and can’t read small print unless I hold it at a very specific distance from my face. But my memory is not so hot either (see above: middle-aged) and the ability to come up with fluent words even on topics I’m familiar with sometimes just craps out on me.
I tend to talk fast when I’m nervous (and also when I’m enthused about my topic) but the instructor will drop the letter grade for each minute under the required 8. Is there any way to make sure I go the required length of time? If I know my topic well enough to just talk about it “off the cuff” I’m probably going to speed up without realizing it. If I concentrate on slowing down, I’m afraid I’ll have trouble speaking naturally.
I’m really uncomfortable with eye contact in a group situation. I have no idea who the hell I’m supposed to look at or for how long. All I know is that I hate it when a speaker makes prolonged eye contact with me when I’m part of the audience.
I’m one of those super-attractive people for which nervousness expresses itself in unmistakable ways: I blush profusely. My face sweats. I get short of breath. I stammer. My mind goes blank.
If anyone has any tips at all for getting through any aspect of this experience, I’d be most grateful. I know public speaking anxiety is not an uncommon problem, so there must be some tried and true means of getting through it.
I have to take a speech class in order to finish up my associate degree. I’m really not looking forward to it, because I anticipate basically four solid months of anxiety. I’ve given presentations before and they’ve gone ok, but those were for classes in which the presentation was a small part of the grade and the instructor was not too picky about things like length, reading instead of speaking, etc. As long as you actually wrote a halfway decent paper and didn’t actively shit yourself while presenting it, you’d get an A or a B.
This is the first class where how well you present is the whole point, and I’m just really dreading it. I don’t even care if I get an A, I just want to pass and I want not to be a sniveling ball of anxiety for the entire semester. It’s been a few months since the last bout of waking up at 4 a.m. every day with my heart pounding, and I don’t look forward to its return.
Specific problems:
I won’t be able to have extensive notes to refer to while I’m presenting, because we’re only allowed to use two 4x6 note cards, with writing on one side only. I can’t cram a lot onto a card because I’m middle-aged and can’t read small print unless I hold it at a very specific distance from my face. But my memory is not so hot either (see above: middle-aged) and the ability to come up with fluent words even on topics I’m familiar with sometimes just craps out on me.
I tend to talk fast when I’m nervous (and also when I’m enthused about my topic) but the instructor will drop the letter grade for each minute under the required 8. Is there any way to make sure I go the required length of time? If I know my topic well enough to just talk about it “off the cuff” I’m probably going to speed up without realizing it. If I concentrate on slowing down, I’m afraid I’ll have trouble speaking naturally.
I’m really uncomfortable with eye contact in a group situation. I have no idea who the hell I’m supposed to look at or for how long. All I know is that I hate it when a speaker makes prolonged eye contact with me when I’m part of the audience.
I’m one of those super-attractive people for which nervousness expresses itself in unmistakable ways: I blush profusely. My face sweats. I get short of breath. I stammer. My mind goes blank.
If anyone has any tips at all for getting through any aspect of this experience, I’d be most grateful. I know public speaking anxiety is not an uncommon problem, so there must be some tried and true means of getting through it.
The most important thing you can do is practice. I wouldn't say this to everyone, but if you are extremely nervous, you should memorize the speech exactly. Think of it as a role, maybe, that way it's not YOU, it's this person giving a speech. Then, when you start to freak out, you'll just go to auto pilot. Yes, you'll seem less natural and stiff, but there is a certain amount of this that you will not be able to get rid of because you are new and not a natural. Practice self-compassion here and say to yourself, "I'm new at this. Of course I am nervous."
Probably, the instructor is looking for improvement. If you show that you're working hard, you'll be an ace. Teachers love anyone who clearly wants to get better, and even if you end up just as nervous at the end of the class as you were at the beginning, if you're making an obvious effort, I'd bet you'd do fine grade wise.
Also, your nervousness level will fluctuate. I won't say you'll definitely get less nervous, because that isn't necessarily true. I have been doing public speaking most of my life, and I still get incredibly nervous from time to time. I don't know why that is, I guess just certain circumstances bring it out. But, experience has taught me what works and what doesn't for this, and experience has also taught me I will get through it.
Good luck. You aren't alone in this fear, for sure.
posted by amodelcitizen at 9:53 AM on August 25, 2011
Probably, the instructor is looking for improvement. If you show that you're working hard, you'll be an ace. Teachers love anyone who clearly wants to get better, and even if you end up just as nervous at the end of the class as you were at the beginning, if you're making an obvious effort, I'd bet you'd do fine grade wise.
Also, your nervousness level will fluctuate. I won't say you'll definitely get less nervous, because that isn't necessarily true. I have been doing public speaking most of my life, and I still get incredibly nervous from time to time. I don't know why that is, I guess just certain circumstances bring it out. But, experience has taught me what works and what doesn't for this, and experience has also taught me I will get through it.
Good luck. You aren't alone in this fear, for sure.
posted by amodelcitizen at 9:53 AM on August 25, 2011
Everyone gets nervous when speaking in front of crowds. Effective public speakers just know how to mitigate the nervousness, and public speaking classes exist to help teach you those methods. The things I've found make me a better public speaker are:
1) Know your subject inside and out. Practice your speech a dozen times before you need to give it: the index cards are just for a few bullet points.
2) You might have a script prepared, but don't freak out if you slip from it. Use your limited notes to keep you on subject and know your subject well enough that you can just go right back into talking about it. If you miss something, you are going to be the only person who knows it (Well, the teacher might know only because it is a public speaking class, but your audience doesn't.)
3) You are the expert on what you are speaking about while you are speaking. Speak with confidence.
4) Know about the illusion of transparency. You might show your nervousness in ways that are more obvious than other people, but you still never appear as nervous as you are.
If you know you have a problem with speaking too fast, force yourself to slow down. If you know you have a problem making eye contact with your audience, force yourself to do so. Public speaking is a challenge, but it is a challenge you can master.
posted by girih knot at 9:54 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
1) Know your subject inside and out. Practice your speech a dozen times before you need to give it: the index cards are just for a few bullet points.
2) You might have a script prepared, but don't freak out if you slip from it. Use your limited notes to keep you on subject and know your subject well enough that you can just go right back into talking about it. If you miss something, you are going to be the only person who knows it (Well, the teacher might know only because it is a public speaking class, but your audience doesn't.)
3) You are the expert on what you are speaking about while you are speaking. Speak with confidence.
4) Know about the illusion of transparency. You might show your nervousness in ways that are more obvious than other people, but you still never appear as nervous as you are.
If you know you have a problem with speaking too fast, force yourself to slow down. If you know you have a problem making eye contact with your audience, force yourself to do so. Public speaking is a challenge, but it is a challenge you can master.
posted by girih knot at 9:54 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Know your talk really, really well. I was always very anxious about public speaking, and I always did really badly at it, until suddenly I had to give talks about stuff I knew backwards and forwards instead of "write a speech about something then talk about it". Suddenly, things were really easy. I practiced lots and lots to get timing right, but honestly, just choosing stuff I knew a lot about made me okay giving impromptu talks. Practicing enough will turn into memorising, anyhow, but in a less stiff way.
Notes should be a bunch of single words (or phrases of 2-3 words) that just remind you what's coming up next.
I still tend to talk too fast, and I spend most of my practice time trying to slow down. Life goes on, and I write things to run a little longer.
Are you really going to start off with 8 minute talks, or will you work your way up there?
posted by jeather at 9:57 AM on August 25, 2011
Notes should be a bunch of single words (or phrases of 2-3 words) that just remind you what's coming up next.
I still tend to talk too fast, and I spend most of my practice time trying to slow down. Life goes on, and I write things to run a little longer.
Are you really going to start off with 8 minute talks, or will you work your way up there?
posted by jeather at 9:57 AM on August 25, 2011
This is the first class where how well you present is the whole point
Fortunately, this is a class where how well you present is also what the instruction focuses on! In my college speech class, we spent a lot of time on every one of the concerns that you mentioned.
Notes - in my speech class, reading verbatim from notes was highly discouraged - but we spent a lot of time on strategies for getting through a talk without them, and how to make speech notes that help you through transitions, pacing, and so on.
Talking too fast - as far as I can tell, this was one of the most common problems people had. We did a ton of breathing exercises, practiced proper "speaking posture", and a whole bunch of other things that help calm nervousness. There are a ton of vocal exercises which will help you to learn to speak more clearly and slowly.
Eye-contact: We practiced this too! If you are really uncomfortable looking people in the eye, you can look at the back of the room, at people's ears (they think you're looking to the person next to them.)
Blushing- my instructor didn't spend much time on this, other than to say that other people notice it less than you do, but that if it's really problematic you may be able to get a prescription for beta-blockers (which calm your physical fight-or-flight response.)
I'd argue, by the way, that it's not going to be about (or not only about) 'forcing yourself' to do these things that make you wildly uncomfortable- there are folks who train people to talk for a living, and it really is a skill you can learn. There are tricks for getting through the probelms you mention, as well as the problems you don't know you have (hah, sorry - but everyone has some quirk they don't know about until they start giving speeches, whether it's saying "um" every few words or fiddling with your earrrings.)
It might calm your anxieties some to have a look through a speech class textbook, even if your class isn't going to use one (mine didn't.) At the very least, you'll see that all of your concerns are addressed, and probably find that there are some aspects of it (even if it's just the surprisingly hard skill of standing in one place) that will come naturally to you.
posted by heyforfour at 10:03 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Fortunately, this is a class where how well you present is also what the instruction focuses on! In my college speech class, we spent a lot of time on every one of the concerns that you mentioned.
Notes - in my speech class, reading verbatim from notes was highly discouraged - but we spent a lot of time on strategies for getting through a talk without them, and how to make speech notes that help you through transitions, pacing, and so on.
Talking too fast - as far as I can tell, this was one of the most common problems people had. We did a ton of breathing exercises, practiced proper "speaking posture", and a whole bunch of other things that help calm nervousness. There are a ton of vocal exercises which will help you to learn to speak more clearly and slowly.
Eye-contact: We practiced this too! If you are really uncomfortable looking people in the eye, you can look at the back of the room, at people's ears (they think you're looking to the person next to them.)
Blushing- my instructor didn't spend much time on this, other than to say that other people notice it less than you do, but that if it's really problematic you may be able to get a prescription for beta-blockers (which calm your physical fight-or-flight response.)
I'd argue, by the way, that it's not going to be about (or not only about) 'forcing yourself' to do these things that make you wildly uncomfortable- there are folks who train people to talk for a living, and it really is a skill you can learn. There are tricks for getting through the probelms you mention, as well as the problems you don't know you have (hah, sorry - but everyone has some quirk they don't know about until they start giving speeches, whether it's saying "um" every few words or fiddling with your earrrings.)
It might calm your anxieties some to have a look through a speech class textbook, even if your class isn't going to use one (mine didn't.) At the very least, you'll see that all of your concerns are addressed, and probably find that there are some aspects of it (even if it's just the surprisingly hard skill of standing in one place) that will come naturally to you.
posted by heyforfour at 10:03 AM on August 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
My wife took a speech class recently, with similar anxieties (she points to being too anxious to take a speech class as a strong contributor to why she never finished her bachelor's, years ago).
The thing she took away from it, though it took her most of the class to figure this out, is that most of her classmates were also horribly anxious about standing up in front of the class and speaking, so she had a sympathetic audience, and that the instructor of the class was on her side.
In fact, it was almost a disappointment to her to spend hours researching and preparing speeches and then realise that she and her classmates were getting graded sympathetically (it was to me, 'cause I spent hours helping her, but I also understand the point of the class).
So, yeah, the instructor has various grading rules, but the instructor is also very aware that you are freaked out about the prospect of public speaking, and that the function of this class isn't to grade you on your ability to do public speaking, but to get you over that freakout and to the point where you can stand in front of your peers and talk to them.
Also, from more recent experience talking at venues like Ignite!, it's great to try to memorize a speech, and you should run through it a whole bunch of times, but as other people have said: The note cards are talking points, don't try to stick to a fixed predetermined set of rules.
The other thing: Check out the classroom. There's a good chance that there's a big ol' clock with a sweep second hand in the back of it so that you can nail your 8 minutes. Have a few things on your talking points you can drop or add if you're really nervous about your time.
posted by straw at 10:10 AM on August 25, 2011
The thing she took away from it, though it took her most of the class to figure this out, is that most of her classmates were also horribly anxious about standing up in front of the class and speaking, so she had a sympathetic audience, and that the instructor of the class was on her side.
In fact, it was almost a disappointment to her to spend hours researching and preparing speeches and then realise that she and her classmates were getting graded sympathetically (it was to me, 'cause I spent hours helping her, but I also understand the point of the class).
So, yeah, the instructor has various grading rules, but the instructor is also very aware that you are freaked out about the prospect of public speaking, and that the function of this class isn't to grade you on your ability to do public speaking, but to get you over that freakout and to the point where you can stand in front of your peers and talk to them.
Also, from more recent experience talking at venues like Ignite!, it's great to try to memorize a speech, and you should run through it a whole bunch of times, but as other people have said: The note cards are talking points, don't try to stick to a fixed predetermined set of rules.
The other thing: Check out the classroom. There's a good chance that there's a big ol' clock with a sweep second hand in the back of it so that you can nail your 8 minutes. Have a few things on your talking points you can drop or add if you're really nervous about your time.
posted by straw at 10:10 AM on August 25, 2011
I know someone who teaches a speech class that's specifically aimed at people who have very high anxiety about public speaking. It fulfills the same requirements as a normal speech class at her university. As I recall, they don't really advertise it very aggressively (I'm not sure it even has a separate listing in the course register), and you have to get accepted into it by doing a private interview with someone from the department. Is there any chance your institution offers something similar?
posted by ootandaboot at 10:18 AM on August 25, 2011
posted by ootandaboot at 10:18 AM on August 25, 2011
I took a speech class last summer because it was required for me to graduate. Because it was a summer class, everything was done in half the time. I had a LOT of anxiety but by the end of those eight weeks I'd given four speeches. Like a boss.
I know that final presentation seems overwhelming now, but if your class is anything like mine then the entire semester will be spent building you up to that point. Everyone else in class is worried, too, I promise. I found my classmates and teacher to be a very sympathetic audience.
After my public speaking class, I was able to teach a workshop, something I'd never even considered before. I did not want to take it, but once I did I was incredibly grateful for the experience.
If nothing else, facing a deep, primal fear like this is liberating.
posted by sugarfish at 2:13 PM on August 25, 2011
I know that final presentation seems overwhelming now, but if your class is anything like mine then the entire semester will be spent building you up to that point. Everyone else in class is worried, too, I promise. I found my classmates and teacher to be a very sympathetic audience.
After my public speaking class, I was able to teach a workshop, something I'd never even considered before. I did not want to take it, but once I did I was incredibly grateful for the experience.
If nothing else, facing a deep, primal fear like this is liberating.
posted by sugarfish at 2:13 PM on August 25, 2011
Response by poster: All these answers have been incredibly helpful. I'm still anxious (first class starts tonight!) but I feel more confident that I can get through it ok. Thanks so much!
posted by sock puppy at 2:24 PM on August 25, 2011
posted by sock puppy at 2:24 PM on August 25, 2011
Here's my three public speaking tips, which help me and my anxiety, and should help with most of your issues:
1. Nobody in the audience can read your mind. That's your asset: what can happen is you feel anxious, then you worry people can tell, which increases the anxiety, which makes you feel it's more obvious, until you fall apart. Don't worry, nobody can tell, no matter how hard they're trying to read your mind. It's all in your head. Even blushing isn't as noticeable as you think.
2. Audiences want to see the speaker succeed. Except maybe 14 year old boys making fart noises in the back during high school, but grownups in an audience are on your side. Even if you screw up, they feel bad for you; when you act like you're succeeding, they're right there with you. Remember, they can't read your mind -- they don't know you feel like you're failing, all they see is somebody up there doing their speech like a boss.
3. When you stop talking, time stops briefly, too. Listening is an active process and takes work; if you stop talking because you lost your place in your notes, don't freak out -- everybody's brains lock up for a little while while you're not talking, giving you plenty of time to readjust. It takes several seconds for the brain to catch up and wonder why things are quiet. Otherwise, the listener is unconciously waiting for whatever comes next. "Um" and "er" screw this up; avoid those. It's better to stop talking than to make noises that interrupt the flow of what you're saying. Nobody will notice: remember, they can't read your mind, either, and they want you to succeed, and a few moments of silence aren't failure -- they'll wait patiently for whatever comes next.
posted by AzraelBrown at 2:25 PM on August 25, 2011
1. Nobody in the audience can read your mind. That's your asset: what can happen is you feel anxious, then you worry people can tell, which increases the anxiety, which makes you feel it's more obvious, until you fall apart. Don't worry, nobody can tell, no matter how hard they're trying to read your mind. It's all in your head. Even blushing isn't as noticeable as you think.
2. Audiences want to see the speaker succeed. Except maybe 14 year old boys making fart noises in the back during high school, but grownups in an audience are on your side. Even if you screw up, they feel bad for you; when you act like you're succeeding, they're right there with you. Remember, they can't read your mind -- they don't know you feel like you're failing, all they see is somebody up there doing their speech like a boss.
3. When you stop talking, time stops briefly, too. Listening is an active process and takes work; if you stop talking because you lost your place in your notes, don't freak out -- everybody's brains lock up for a little while while you're not talking, giving you plenty of time to readjust. It takes several seconds for the brain to catch up and wonder why things are quiet. Otherwise, the listener is unconciously waiting for whatever comes next. "Um" and "er" screw this up; avoid those. It's better to stop talking than to make noises that interrupt the flow of what you're saying. Nobody will notice: remember, they can't read your mind, either, and they want you to succeed, and a few moments of silence aren't failure -- they'll wait patiently for whatever comes next.
posted by AzraelBrown at 2:25 PM on August 25, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
Anyway, the basic answer is Practice. Do your speech at home 9000 times. Do it on video and watch yourself. Do it in front of your dog or a trusted friend. Look just over people's heads when you're speaking and they won't realize you're not making eye contact with anyone, except maybe look your instructor in the eye for 2 seconds every once in a while.
Practice. Learn. Ask your speech instructor how to be better, especially if you have specific questions like this. There's no way this is the first time the instructor has had a nervous speaker in the class.
posted by brainmouse at 9:50 AM on August 25, 2011