Maybe we'll legally change to Mr. and Mrs. Surname and be done with it.
August 25, 2011 6:11 AM Subscribe
I'm getting married, and we're discussing the issue of last names. For those of you who didn't opt for the standard lady-takes-guy's-last-name route, how did it affect you? Did you hyphenate? Make a new last name? Just keep your old names? What last names will your kids have? How do you feel about your decision now?
posted by zoomorphic to Society & Culture (111 answers total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
The guy and I are both pretty stubborn about our names. He's the last male heir of his family, and I cringe at the idea of usurping the last name I've had for 28 damn years of my life. Also, my surname sounds phonetically solid with my first name, and less solid with his. Likewise for him.
At first, I was fine with the idea of simply keeping our own surnames, but then my special snowflake self got in the way: what do we do about our kids? I came from a divorced household where I got my completely absent dad's last name, my mom kept her maiden name after the divorce and then married my stepdad and had another kid, so I never had a family with the same last name as I did. As a kid I had to do a lot of explaining about why my last name didn't match either my mom's family or my new family. Not a big deal in the long run, I certainly don't need therapy over it, but it makes me sad to think that my kids wouldn't have my last name and I'd be the odd one out of the household again.
Hyphenating is another option, and our names are not awful as a hyphenated strand, but it's a lot of last name to saddle on a kid. Also, what if our kids marry other people with hyphenated surnames?
We also brought up the option of using the letters of our names to make a new name. At first I hated this idea because it sounds so... contrived. Then we landed on a pretty good surname that kind of made sense. I'm warming up to the idea, but I'm not 100% on board. Seems a bit new-agey.
What did you do when you were in this situation? What are the advantages and disadvantages of keeping/changing/hyphenating your last names?