Where do you meet people IRL who will not mug/kill you?

August 19, 2011 10:01 PM

Where do you meet people IRL who will not mug/kill you?

My exact situation: I'm from LDR to SDR. I like my boyfriend's friends, but I've been here three weeks and I would like some of my own. The nagging... feeling that I am a loser is effecting both my relationship and my job negatively.

Normally, making new friends isn't a problem because i've always lived in places where I could walk around at 2 am talking to strangers and make friends without any kind of fear. I just moved to Houston, which isn't known for safe and friendly streets. Where are safe places to meet new people?

P.S. I am planing on going to a mifi meet up soon! and am very excited to maybe meet some of you!!!

posted by becomingly to human relations (14 answers total)

Join a club of some kind; sports club, game club, photography club etc that matches your interests. Check meetup.com etc for things that will interest you. Enrol in a community college or other type of course about something you're interested in. Socialise with work people and see if there's anyone you might like to develop from a work friendship into a real friendship.

It's not that hard, I promise! Amazingly, most people don't make friends by walking around at 2am and talking to strangers! Try walking around at other times of the day, though personally speaking I'm extremely leery when perfect strangers come on too strong and want to be friends; it creeps me out a bit.
posted by smoke at 10:06 PM on August 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

It'd be hard to pick a safer watering hole than Valhalla, the tiny pub down underneath the old chemistry lecture hall on the Rice University campus. It has a raft of regulars who're pretty welcoming toward anyone at all. Without knowing your interests, it's hard to name other options. I mean, Assignment Houston has a photowalk very soon. Oni-Con is coming up in Galveston. You see what I'm saying--we need more info. :)
posted by Monsieur Caution at 11:18 PM on August 19, 2011

In general, think of your interests, passions, background, and skills. Then go Google or look in your local paper for how those are applied socially.

You can volunteer. Food banks, museums, libraries, the American Red Cross, community centers, and shelters all need warm bodies. Do activities that puts you in contact with other people, whether employees, customers/clients/patrons, or other volunteers.

If you've graduated from a major university, see if there's a local branch for your alumni association.

If you're somewhat knowledgeable of your ethnic or national background, see if there's a group or club for that. In my area, I've heard of groups for everything from Asians to Hungarians.

Bars and pubs are also a good idea. Check them out and keep your eyes peeled for social events at those places, like pub quizzes or karaoke nights. Both are events where drinking is not the primary thing, so it's okay to not drink.
posted by FJT at 11:59 PM on August 19, 2011

Also, meetup.com, which has groups organized around different interests.
posted by maurreen at 2:31 AM on August 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

OK. I feel really out of it right now. I have no idea what "IRL", "LDR" and "SDR" stand for. Could somebody help me?
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 6:25 AM on August 20, 2011

IRL = "in real life", LDR = "long distance relationship", SDR = "short distance relationship"?
posted by beerbajay at 6:32 AM on August 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

Seconding meetup.com. Excellent way to meet likeminded people who are there specifically because they want to meet other people.

Also, find a cafe or library that has a good bulletin board. This is one of my favorite ways to learn about local events.

Most people will not kill you. Take heart.
posted by Miko at 6:51 AM on August 20, 2011

I recommend all the answers above, but if you're also looking for a scene to get into and you're into folk type music, try going to a few shows at McGonigel's Mucky Duck. It gets a lot of great acts and it's a fantastic place to see shows, plus the audience is friendly yuppie types and you're generally at a table with at least one other couple. When I lived in Houston, the Duck folks I knew were a significant part of my crowd. /native Houstonian, still goes to the Duck when she's in town.
posted by immlass at 7:20 AM on August 20, 2011

In six years of volunteering, I've met the most wonderful generous people and some really good friends. Not one crazy stalker killer ever and I've met literally hundreds of people volunteering.
posted by bananafish at 8:11 AM on August 20, 2011

Church. And before you say it, there are churches that aren't so churchy, but still offer the sense of community that is sometimes hard to find otherwise.
posted by ob1quixote at 8:47 AM on August 20, 2011

I'll say it again, Contra Dancing.
posted by jvilter at 10:35 AM on August 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Defintely browse Meetup.com. Pick the groups that are biggest and busiest, but still related to something you like. I run the WordPress Meetup here in Houston, and I've met quite a few people through that.

There's Rice Village most any night of the week (not too far from Vahalla). There's also the Heights area (White Oak/Studemont) that has a selection of different places, and every kind of person you'd want to meet.

Maybe you could tip us off as to what types of things you enjoy doing? Otherwise, it's just shots in the dark.
posted by chrisfromthelc at 11:11 AM on August 20, 2011

Adult Ed. classes - teach some if you have interesting skills, or take some. Hang out at the coffee shop in the cool section of town and meet the regulars. Join the Y, or a swim club or gym that seems social. Is there an alumni group from your school in Houston? Outdoor event club, political group, etc. Get the free papers and events listing for the area, and start attending stuff.
posted by theora55 at 12:53 PM on August 20, 2011

Thank you all for the suggestions!
Interests of mine include any kind of dance, poi, cooking, debate, glee, singing, random acts of kindness, MTG (I'm very new, but enjoying it.)

If any of you live around here and want to meet up, send me a PM. Thank you so much again!!
posted by becomingly at 8:55 AM on August 22, 2011