How can I get a bladder catheter "installed?"
August 16, 2011 6:51 AM Subscribe
How can I get a bladder catheter "installed?"
I'm a male who has never been catheterized. I'd like to experience this on my own terms rather than waiting for something like a car crash. I guess it's a bit of a kink, but I really would like to hire a nurse or similar to "install" one for me one day.
How do I best approach getting this accomplished? I'd like to simply make an appointment with a medical professional, but I don't believe anyone would help me. Short of dating a registered nurse, how can I accomplish this?
I realize it may hurt or otherwise involve pain, but I'd rather experience that as I am when I have this done. I figure there will be enough pain if I am ever injured. Many thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.
Feel free to contact me at: this_is_my_home@yahoo.com
Just want to throw out there that it's definitely not cool to involve someone in your kink without their informed consent. Maybe you could go on FetLife and find people interested in sounding/urethral play? Not the same as a catheter, obviously, but you might be able to find someone with experience with that as well.
posted by SugarAndSass at 7:08 AM on August 16, 2011 [16 favorites]
posted by SugarAndSass at 7:08 AM on August 16, 2011 [16 favorites]
The thing you want to be googling here is "medical fetish".
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:08 AM on August 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:08 AM on August 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
if you're injured, you probably won't be awake to experience it anyway. once it's in, you don't feel it.
posted by elle.jeezy at 7:09 AM on August 16, 2011
posted by elle.jeezy at 7:09 AM on August 16, 2011
This is a known kink. I once saw a man catheterized as part of a demonstration at an S/M conference. If your concern is really "What happens if I ever have to be catheterized?" then Scottie_Bob may be right that you can just work on letting go of it and trust that if it ever happens, you'll deal with it then. If it's an experience you want for other reasons, you may be able to find someone in the fetish community who can do this for you.
posted by not that girl at 7:10 AM on August 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by not that girl at 7:10 AM on August 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Are you aware of external catheters, which you can use by yourself? Otherwise, I agree that FL is the site for you.
posted by desjardins at 7:24 AM on August 16, 2011
posted by desjardins at 7:24 AM on August 16, 2011
Sorry, I was reading the questions under the assumption that it was wholly related to issues medical rather than issues fetishical (I know that isn't a word, but meh).
If there is more than for purely medical reasons, then yeah, I suppose S&M routes might be the way to go, although I know nothing about this.
So your answer depends on the reasons for wanting it.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 7:35 AM on August 16, 2011
If there is more than for purely medical reasons, then yeah, I suppose S&M routes might be the way to go, although I know nothing about this.
So your answer depends on the reasons for wanting it.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 7:35 AM on August 16, 2011
if you're injured, you probably won't be awake to experience it anyway. once it's in, you don't feel it.
posted by elle.jeezy at 9:09 AM on August 16 [+] [!]
I can personally testify that that is completely not true.
posted by goethean at 7:36 AM on August 16, 2011
posted by elle.jeezy at 9:09 AM on August 16 [+] [!]
I can personally testify that that is completely not true.
posted by goethean at 7:36 AM on August 16, 2011
I think you're equivocating. If it's a kink, fess up and go the kink route. If it's truly a concern about not having experienced it prior to needing it, take it from a male who has had a catheter: It can wait--dear lord it can wait.
posted by milarepa at 7:37 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by milarepa at 7:37 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
If all you really want is to know what it's like to have a catheter in, just do it your damn self. Some neurological (or other) disorders can lead to urinary retention, and people thus affected generally need to learn to catheterize themselves regularly in order to avoid kidney damage. I see no reason why someone without a neurological disorder could not do the same. You can buy the equipment on-line or at a medical supply store.
Now, if this is about experiencing someone else catheterizing you, then, yeah, the fetish sites sound like they're for you.
posted by dersins at 7:39 AM on August 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Now, if this is about experiencing someone else catheterizing you, then, yeah, the fetish sites sound like they're for you.
posted by dersins at 7:39 AM on August 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Be careful about just inserting it yourself. People end up in the hospital for doing it incorrectly, and I imagine there's some training by a professional when you learn to do it yourself.
posted by lilac girl at 8:02 AM on August 16, 2011
posted by lilac girl at 8:02 AM on August 16, 2011
oh, you will so feel it. i am so sorry to everyone i have done this to.
With a neurological/other disorder (as dersins points out), people learn to "in and out" catheterize themselves - stick it in, drain the urine, take it out. if they can't do this, or for some other necessary reason, they'll have an indwelling catheter. aka a "foley catheter" -- I get the impression this is what you're interested in, based on your statement of "install" a catheter?
this is one of my cautions: please don't leave it in for more than a few hours or a day. foley catheters, the longer they're in you (and by a long time, i mean hours to days), they are associated with nasty rates of UTIs.
more notes: sticking a foley catheter in someone is supposed to be a _sterile_ procedure, due to the rates of UTIs and the fact that it's living up in your business (don't want to push bacteria up into your bladder). you can purchase just a foley catheter ... but you want the sterile "kit/insertion tray". which with some googling, i can see you can buy online. and you want someone who knows how to do this.
i'm sorry that i can't speak to finding an actual person to do this for you, so i hope that my answer is helpful to you in some way. but my assumption is that you can find another kinky person in the healthcare field that would be happy to do this for you. it seems as though the usual answer is FetLife, but again, I'm sorry I can't speak to that.
posted by circle_b at 8:10 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
With a neurological/other disorder (as dersins points out), people learn to "in and out" catheterize themselves - stick it in, drain the urine, take it out. if they can't do this, or for some other necessary reason, they'll have an indwelling catheter. aka a "foley catheter" -- I get the impression this is what you're interested in, based on your statement of "install" a catheter?
this is one of my cautions: please don't leave it in for more than a few hours or a day. foley catheters, the longer they're in you (and by a long time, i mean hours to days), they are associated with nasty rates of UTIs.
more notes: sticking a foley catheter in someone is supposed to be a _sterile_ procedure, due to the rates of UTIs and the fact that it's living up in your business (don't want to push bacteria up into your bladder). you can purchase just a foley catheter ... but you want the sterile "kit/insertion tray". which with some googling, i can see you can buy online. and you want someone who knows how to do this.
i'm sorry that i can't speak to finding an actual person to do this for you, so i hope that my answer is helpful to you in some way. but my assumption is that you can find another kinky person in the healthcare field that would be happy to do this for you. it seems as though the usual answer is FetLife, but again, I'm sorry I can't speak to that.
posted by circle_b at 8:10 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
hey goethean. that was my experience. i guess its a YMMV, huh?
posted by elle.jeezy at 8:11 AM on August 16, 2011
posted by elle.jeezy at 8:11 AM on August 16, 2011
Worse to worst, and probably easier if you live in a city, you could find yourself a pro domme who does medical scenes and get in touch to ask if this is something she'd do. Check her references, etc, and then go for it. That's likely to be your best bet.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:58 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:58 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
Hey there, I self-cath, don't have an indwelling catheter, but have had one at the hospital.
What do you need to worry about? As circle-b sez, infection, infection, infection. Use sterile things only and when I say sterile don't fuck around and say something like, 'well, I don't think the kid put this in his mouth.' STERILE.
In-dwelling catheters will create more opportunity of infection, because even if it's sterile at the beginning, bacteria will march up the indwelling catheter into your urethra.
And yeah, as an aside, you might want to own your kink. At a minimum, this will make people like me who have to deal with cathing or die know where you're coming from. As written, your question made me say out loud, "The FUCK?"
posted by angrycat at 9:49 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
What do you need to worry about? As circle-b sez, infection, infection, infection. Use sterile things only and when I say sterile don't fuck around and say something like, 'well, I don't think the kid put this in his mouth.' STERILE.
In-dwelling catheters will create more opportunity of infection, because even if it's sterile at the beginning, bacteria will march up the indwelling catheter into your urethra.
And yeah, as an aside, you might want to own your kink. At a minimum, this will make people like me who have to deal with cathing or die know where you're coming from. As written, your question made me say out loud, "The FUCK?"
posted by angrycat at 9:49 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
You are clearly a curious person. I entirely agree with circle_b about sterility (wear single-use gloves). Also, if you aren't circumcised then the foreskin must be carefully retracted to see the urethral meatus. Speaking as a medical professional (who has thankfully never experienced it from the other end) I can say that you will definitely want to use the local anaesthetic & disinfectant gel syringe (NOT K-Y!) that comes in the better single-use sets - and give it time to work! That means squirting it into the meatus, up your urethra into your bladder, squeezing the meatus shut (or keeping the empty syringe in place), and waiting at least 4 minutes. Of course catheterisation can be done on your lonesome, but simply from the point of view of manual dexterity it must be tons easier when someone else does it for you (a bit like cannulating veins ...). It is generally easiest when the penis is gently pulled away from the body in a straight line (while holding the foreskin back - quite an exercise in manual dexterity!). And in case it turns you on: DO NOT proceed while having an erection - you will do yourself damage!!! If the Foley catheter just doesn't go all the way in easily and you are over 50 years old, then you may have prostatic hypertrophy and will want to go see a urologist.
Once the catheter has gone in, you must make sure it is inserted TO THE HILT before the built-in balloon is inflated with (sterile) saline, so that it expands in your bladder NOT YOUR PROSTATE! After that the catheter can be allowed to slip out again until the balloon stops it (look at a diagram). Only then does it get connected to the bag (don't forget to buy that bit, or your apartment will need cleaning). If you wish to experience the sensation of living with a urine bag then buy a leg holder which allows it to go inside trousers. DO NOT leave in for more than 24 hours. And BTW a majority of patients complain that they get a really annoying constant feeling of "wanting to go pass urine", simply from the presence of the bulky catheter in your urethra.
posted by kairab at 9:58 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
Once the catheter has gone in, you must make sure it is inserted TO THE HILT before the built-in balloon is inflated with (sterile) saline, so that it expands in your bladder NOT YOUR PROSTATE! After that the catheter can be allowed to slip out again until the balloon stops it (look at a diagram). Only then does it get connected to the bag (don't forget to buy that bit, or your apartment will need cleaning). If you wish to experience the sensation of living with a urine bag then buy a leg holder which allows it to go inside trousers. DO NOT leave in for more than 24 hours. And BTW a majority of patients complain that they get a really annoying constant feeling of "wanting to go pass urine", simply from the presence of the bulky catheter in your urethra.
posted by kairab at 9:58 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
Regardless of your motivation, I don't think a medical professional office will help you. So let the Kink community help you find a medical professional willing to teach you how to do this. You might be able to advertise on CL for a nurse with the skill, but you really need to find someone completely capable.
And, as kinks go, this is interesting, but not unusual, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy it, so head on over to fetlife as suggested.
posted by theora55 at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2011
And, as kinks go, this is interesting, but not unusual, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy it, so head on over to fetlife as suggested.
posted by theora55 at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2011
Nthing the warnings about infection. Had a foley catheter during a recent hospital stay (inserted while I was under). Hurt like the dickens coming out, plus I came home with a UTI.
Do Not Want.
posted by DaveP at 4:56 PM on August 16, 2011
Do Not Want.
posted by DaveP at 4:56 PM on August 16, 2011
And BTW a majority of patients complain that they get a really annoying constant feeling of "wanting to go pass urine".
I'm not a man, BUT this was very true for me. I had a catheter inserted right before an emergency surgery. I was not "out" or sedated or medicated in any way. Until they knocked me out for the surgery, I could FEEL IT and it felt like I had to "go." Once I woke up, I WAS pretty heavily medicated and didn't notice the catheter at all. They took it out as soon as I was able to get out of bed with help, to minimize the chances of a UTI.
The reason many medical professionals won't do this just for the heck of it is that there are real risks associated with it. Medical procedures are performed when the risks outweigh the benefits.
posted by jeoc at 6:33 PM on August 16, 2011
I'm not a man, BUT this was very true for me. I had a catheter inserted right before an emergency surgery. I was not "out" or sedated or medicated in any way. Until they knocked me out for the surgery, I could FEEL IT and it felt like I had to "go." Once I woke up, I WAS pretty heavily medicated and didn't notice the catheter at all. They took it out as soon as I was able to get out of bed with help, to minimize the chances of a UTI.
The reason many medical professionals won't do this just for the heck of it is that there are real risks associated with it. Medical procedures are performed when the risks outweigh the benefits.
posted by jeoc at 6:33 PM on August 16, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
I'm not sure as to the safety issues of catheterising someone who (medically at least) doesn't need it, but my significant other is a nurse and I shall ask her when she gets home.
P.S. I'm a male who hasn't been cathetirised either, but I'm struggling to figure out why you would want this done. I kind of get the whole 'on my terms' thing, but surely if you're injured, the last thing on your mind would be 'shit, I haven't been catheterised before! What if I don't like it??'
posted by Scottie_Bob at 6:57 AM on August 16, 2011 [2 favorites]