Am I just bad at new?

August 10, 2011 6:57 PM

New job, new city. Anxiety. How do I handle this?

I took a higher-paying job within my industry, but in a different city, back in May. My wife and I relocated. I am not doing great in the new job: I am anxious every morning before I go to work, and I don't feel that I'm becoming more "settled in," probably because I saw a co-worker who had been there for over a year fired soon after I started for a mistake that cost the client nothing. My wife has not found a good job yet.

Mefites, what would you do in this situation? As I see it, I can start looking for another job (which will involve financial costs, as I will have to buy out a lease and relocate again), or I can try to tough it out.

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (4 answers total)

You can start looking for a new job, but you have a job, and should probably try to make it work for you, whether you plan to stay or not. Is there a mentor, supervisor, or trusted co-worker there that you could bounce ideas off of? "Not doing great" could mean anything, so it's hard to know how badly you're doing at this job, or how you could improve.

There's always a certain amount of trepidation involved in starting a new career, and to pull up roots and do so in a new city makes it doubly anxiety-inducing. I'd suggest taking a deep breath, finding someone within the organization you can talk to about getting on-track (without admitting that you feel you're doing as badly as you think you are) and seeing how you can make the new job work for you.
posted by xingcat at 7:15 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

I saw a co-worker who had been there for over a year fired soon after I started for a mistake that cost the client nothing.

You don't know the whole truth. Unless you have a VERY open boss you will never know the whole truth, and chances are your co-worker had it coming but they were just looking for an excuse to fire them.

That all being said, if I were in you shoes and felt afraid/anxious I would save what money I could (I know that's hard) and look for another job in the city I'm in. I hope you took this job because you liked the city AND the job being offered.
posted by zombieApoc at 9:16 PM on August 10, 2011

I am not doing great in the new job: I am anxious every morning before I go to work

Also note that these two things do not necessarily equate. The fact that you don't feel great about the job does not mean you're not performing well at it. How are you actually performing? What is the feedback like?
posted by DarlingBri at 5:14 AM on August 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

What DarlingBri said.

Take some baby steps and separate everything. About the job, I'd ask for some feedback because undoubtedly they want you to succeed and they can let you know how everything's going from their perspective. At best, you'll find out you're fine; at worst you'll get constructive feedback and can create a solid plan to improve.

The new city? Make exploring the area a new weekend project and get to discover places. Find new destinations...maybe there are some pretty cool places you have yet to explore.

I'm sure your wife still searching doesn't help with the stress, but things always come along.

If you're feeling like the anxiety is keeping you from functioning properly on a daily basis, I'd consider talking to someone (and maybe getting meds) until your brain can rewire into a more happy state.
posted by kinetic at 9:11 AM on August 11, 2011 [1 favorite]