So...I'm officially sexually active now, huh?

August 10, 2011 12:47 PM

Hive mind, I need advice about STD testing. I somehow got through most of my young adulthood without needing it, and now, well, I don't know the procedure!

So, I'm a thirty-year-old straight woman and I've just come out of...well, let's call it a really long period of celibacy. Really long. I wasn't a virgin, but I'd been celibate long enough that I almost entirely missed that period post-high-school when everyone's having sex in college and young adulthood and sharing information about getting tested and how one does that and where one goes for it and such. The only testing I've ever had was the usual STD panel my gyno does during my annual exam on the basis of "well, might as well anyway," and I'm quite honestly not even sure what was included in that, because it never mattered.

This year has gotten interesting, however. I have a friend with benefits with whom I've been having semi-regular sex (pregnancy-protected but with no barrier method, because both of us tested clean shortly before we got involved) and I have now also met someone who might be A Someone. No sexual contact so far, but I'd like to be prepared for if there is.

With the potential for two sexual partners in one year, clearly I need a better strategy than "once a year the doctor will run a panel of some sort, without me asking." I know, vaguely, that other people don't just wait for their annual exam to get STD testing. I know they must go...somewhere...and ask for...something in particular. But I don't exactly know what or where.

So, sexually-active mefites, help me: where does a responsible adult woman go to get tested? And what does she ask for once she's there? And how much does that cost? I live in upper Westchester County, NY, if anyone knows of specific places, but even just general guidance ("GPs can usually do this", "Planned Parenthood will do it cheaply", etc) is good. I have health insurance, though money sometimes gets a little tight as far as co-pays.

Am I missing any other sexual hygiene issues that come along with having multiple partners in a relatively short time period? Not at the same time - I'm a one-partner sort of girl - but even two people in one year has simply never been an issue for me before, and I just want to be sure I'm doing everything I can to be safe and responsible.

posted by This sockpuppet asks awkward questions to Health & Fitness (17 answers total)

When I started a new relationship and wanted to be tested, I went to my family doctor and asked for STD testing. He said, "What do you want to be tested for?" and I said, "I don't know, whatever people get tested for when they say they're getting tested for STDs." And he tested me for all of the typical STDs. Easy enough.
posted by amro at 12:51 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

go either to your gyn or to planned parenthood - say you want a basic round of STD testing.

as to what it entails - scarleteen is my go-to for explaining stuff in a sex positive way. i know it was made for teenagers, but it's some of the best practical, non-judgmental advice out there.
posted by nadawi at 12:52 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

I have the option of getting tested at my OB/GYN's office. I haven't been in your situation for a while, but I believe I got tested at my yearly, which coincidentally was a week after I broke a five-year drought. (Cue the Hallelujah Chorus.) I think she was just going to do my Pap smear and I said, "I'm in a new relationship; could you just do a general screen?" I said I wasn't particularly worried about anything in particular, so just do everything you can that isn't outlandish. She had no problem with that.

If you wanted to go in at a time other than your yearly, I don't think that would be an issue, either, especially if you're okay seeing a PA or NP. The person I consider my OB/GYN is actually a PA, but for my purposes she's great.
posted by Madamina at 12:53 PM on August 10, 2011

mayo clinic and planned parenthood also have pretty comprehensive information pages about what tests to get.
posted by nadawi at 12:54 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

Your GP or gynecologist can do this, and your insurance may have a no-copay agreement with a lab, though it always tends to be the slowest lab evar. PP can probably do it faster (in appointment wait, waiting-room, AND lab time) for more or less the same cost. There probably are free or deeply discounted city or county clinics in your area, but they will be slow and not necessarily convenient to your location.

Really, anybody that does bloodwork can do this.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:54 PM on August 10, 2011

Am I missing any other sexual hygiene issues that come along with having multiple partners in a relatively short time period? ... I just want to be sure I'm doing everything I can to be safe and responsible.


Remember that there's no test for men to detect HPV, either the cancer-causing strains or the warts-causing strains. So even though barrier methods don't offer complete protection from HPV, you might want keep this in mind when adding new partners to your life.
posted by Ashley801 at 1:08 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's pretty common place to go to your gyno and say "I have a new sexual partner, and I'd like a full STD screening." That's the procedure...it's really not any more complicated than that. Just know that some places will only call you back if you test positive for something, so when you're at your appointment, make sure to ask them to mail you a letter with all the results on it, just so that you have complete peace of mind.
posted by katypickle at 1:18 PM on August 10, 2011

Response by poster: To add, after reading a few comments: I've been vaccinated for HPV (though I do know that that doesn't protect against all strains) and I am familiar with STDs in the "I passed health class and I know how to use Wikipedia" sense, but not the "I know details about what each test involves" sense. I'm sex-positive and well-educated about it in general; I just seem to have missed out on the real-life version of this lesson.

Thanks for all your information so far!
posted by This sockpuppet asks awkward questions at 1:28 PM on August 10, 2011

Nthing the basic advice to just go to your gyno and say "so, this has happened, and I just want to screen myself for whatever you think I should screen myself for." Your doctor will probably be so impressed that you're taking the impetus on being responsible about this that they'll do all but knit cushions for the stirrups for you.

As for the actual procedure of the tests, it's no different than what you've done before; the only difference I can possibly think of is HIV, which -- depending on where you go -- may require a blood draw. (Although -- i'm basing this on the last time I was tested for HIV, and that was during the 20th Century.)

As for hygiene -- Condoms are your friends. Seriously. I know you're protecting yourself against pregnancy some other way, and that the semi-regular guy and you tested clean, but....how much do you want to trust that he hasn't had another fling with someone else? Not that he'd deliberately play you, but what if something came up and he just hasn't told you because he didn't want to hurt your feelings? And do you trust her? And how well do you trust anyone she had sex with? And....

yeah. Just use the condoms. They do have a less than 100% success rate for HPV, but for the other ones, they're a damn effective preventative measure. Do not forswear condoms lightly -- the only time I stop using them is when I am several months into a mutually monogamous relationship, which has only happened three times in my life. I wouldn't dream of giving them up for anything less than that. (If the dude can't handle that, I tell him that he can fuck himself instead of me.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:29 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

Standard STI testing is usually testing for chlamydia, gonhorrea, HIV, syphilis, and (depending on your provider; some don't default do blood tests) herpes type 1 and/or 2. The first two are swabs or urine, the last are blood tests. I'm biased towards Planned Parenthood, but just find a provider that works for you and makes you feel comfortable!
posted by c'mon sea legs at 1:33 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

"Planned Parenthood will do it cheaply." My regular doc charged me $300 (some of which my insurance didn't cover due to deductible) for just chlamydia and gonorrhea tests. Planned Parenthood was $30 w/o insurance and $20 for an HIV test.

I figured I'd get them all checked so I could confidently be in a committed relationship and was surprised how reasonable they were.

I am a dude so a gyno wasn't an option.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 1:46 PM on August 10, 2011

Thanks for asking this. The last time I tried to get tested, I asked my GP and his response was basically "What for? Do you think you have AIDS?" I dropped the subject because I was embarrassed. (I have since dropped that GP as well.)

Seeing as how I'm male, Planned Parenthood sounds like a great option.
posted by shponglespore at 2:08 PM on August 10, 2011

so you know, shponglespore, "why do you want to get tested for HIV" is actually a standard question for HIV-seekers (or, at least, it was for a long time). Part of that is to assess whether you may be responding to some weird misinformation about how HIV is transmitted (a sadly common occurrance early on), and partly to assess whether they need to also give you a little "safe sex 101" tutorial as well. In other words -- if your answer to "why do you want to get tested" was something like, "a guy spit on the toilet and I didn't know until after I'd used it and Sid at the garage said that that guy looked sick and may have AIDS", your GP could then instead say, "uh, actually you're good, and here's some information about how HIV is really transmitted...."

Although, your GP could have handled that question with a touch more tact. I got the same question when I had myself tested too, and I told the guy that even though I played it safe I just still thought it was better than not knowing. (I also used a really funny metaphor for "safe sex" that cracked the guy up, so he was in a good mood.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:16 PM on August 10, 2011

My understanding is that generally you don't get tested for herpes unless you have an outbreak or a former partner has an outbreak. I do not believe it's part of a "standard" battery of STD tests. It's a tough one, because many, many people have it without knowing it, but if you know you have it (because you got tested) you are obligated to tell your partners.

Planned Parenthood was CRAZY expensive the one time I had the standard battery of testing done. $120 or so. If you have insurance it quite possibly would cover it.
posted by sully75 at 2:30 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have used Planned Parenthood in the past, and the last couple of times, it was my GP. When asked why, the response was always two words: new partner. When you say it, it helps to do so authoritatively so as to convey (1) there is sexual activity in my near future; and (2) anyone who isn't a total idiot does this, don't you? Neither had a problem with that, and the GP lamented that most people who asked her were trying to disambiguate some or other STD-like symptom.
posted by Hylas at 2:36 PM on August 10, 2011

Try your local health department, and ask for specific days/times of the week they offer such clinics. Many, if not all, offer free testing, and many, if not all, do not tie such testing to your insurance.

The ones around where I live offer screening and testing on one morning of every week, for free, with no insurance information asked. This, I imagine, could be an important consideration for people who seek repeated, responsible testing and do not want to raise any red flags with their insurances for repeated HIV testing which might indicate high-risk behavior.

To be clear: I think it is responsible to be tested, and believe it to be ridiculous that any insurance company would see such action as being a negative prognostic indicator of one's future health or behavior.
posted by herrdoktor at 7:09 PM on August 10, 2011

HIV is usually a blood test, although there are also saliva tests; it's not done by swab. Herpes is a blood test and is more frequently part of the standard screen these days, you can definitely ask for it if you want. The rest are swabs done during your regular pap. I went to college in Westchester County (many years ago) and lots of my friends went to the PP in that region and liked it, but if you have a regular gyn you might be more comfortable with them. In my experience I've never paid extra for testing at my gyn (past the co-pay) and I've been getting tested yearly for the last ten years, with half a dozen insurance companies. However, they may charge extra if you try to get a pap more than once every 12 months, so if you had one less than a year ago you'll want to skip that portion. Either your gyn or PP should be able to tell you how much it'll be with or without your insurance coverage over the phone when you call.

I agree with Empress that best practices for sexual hygiene include using condoms until you're well into a committed, monogamous relationship. (To absolutely insure you're not infected, you'll want to get tested again six months after your last sex with FWB, at least for HIV; everything else should show up within a few weeks.) Otherwise, as long as you talk to your partners and get yourself tested, you're doing awesome.
posted by min at 7:39 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]