Would YOU want us to tell you?
August 4, 2011 9:49 PM Subscribe
Should we tell our friends about our non-standard romantic situation? And if so, who should we tell? And when?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (63 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I am currently involved in a three-person romantic relationship. We're a V, with two of us involved with the third, and we consider our arrangement to be a committed and long-term one. We don't want to add any more people, and we're starting to plan for our future, including some talk about kids. We also cohabitate, but since we live in a small, young city full of college kids, no one pays much attention.
We have been in this arrangement for almost three years, and things are going pretty smoothly. But it's been difficult, particularly since our third is thought of as "single" by everyone else. Two of us are involved publicly, and people sometimes try to set our third up on dates, or ask us questions about when our "roommate" will move out, which makes us all feel awkward and a kind of sad as well.
We're starting to wonder if and when we should start telling our close friends, two or three couples we know very well, about what's really going on. In general, our friends are in their thirties, liberal, and not particularly mainstream or judgemental.
We would love to be able to be honest with our friends, and to be able to include them in our "real" lives. But we don't want to burden them with secrets they didn't ask for.
I guess my question is this: if you were our friends, would you want to know? Or would you prefer that we keep it to ourselves unless asked explicit questions about our relationships?