Comments on: What to engrave on an iPod?

Question: What to engrave on an iPod?

Gortuk — Thu, 26 May 2005 06:48:43 -0800

What should I engrave on my iPod?

OK, so I'm looking at ordering an iPod mini from Apple's corporate site. For some reason, the engraving option costs -$5. That's negative five dollars, as in, five dollars off if I put a few letters on the back. The question is, what to engrave?

I definitely don't want to put my name or anything personally identifying. I'm trying to think of a snappy, short quote that I won't get tired of looking at every day. My first great idea was Negativland's "Copyright infringement is your best entertainment value". But that's too long - the limit is 2 lines of 23 characters each. So I put this forward to the world. Hit me with your best two-liner please!

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Thu, 26 May 2005 06:57:04 -0800

If lost or stolen, please return to the RIAA.

By: slapshot57

slapshot57 — Thu, 26 May 2005 06:57:41 -0800

just so you realize, if you get it engraved you can't return it/ have it repaired, right? So if you can't think of anything clever or useful it's not a good idea to get it engraved.

the -5 is a way of encouraging people to buy a new one if their old one breaks. But I still got my name engraved anyways.

By: geeky

geeky — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:01:08 -0800

How about one of your favorite song lyrics?

By: -harlequin-

-harlequin- — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:07:20 -0800

What characters are allowed? Some complex-looking equation could be neat.

Have you checked out the physics warning labels?. Almost all are too long, but there are some funny ones, they're be a good source of ideas and inspiration:
"Handle with Extreme Care: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour."

A smiley? :-)

I have my phone start up with "ERROR 404: File not found"

WARNING: These premises protected by Securiguard

I'd say look at warning labels and manufacturer disclaimer labels for ideas.

By: box

box — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:13:27 -0800

"Think Differently"

If you get it engraved, you can't have it repaired? Why not?

Are there formulas, equivalencies, etc. that you have a hard time remembering? "Tf = (9/5)Tc+32" or "g = F/m = GM/r²" are probably more likely to come in handy than, y'know, a nickname or a gag or whatever.

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:15:22 -0800

"You played it for her, you can play it for me!"
"Well, I don't think I can remember."
"If she can stand it, I can! Play it!"

By: junesix

junesix — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:16:27 -0800

Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
-Thomas Carlyle

By: willbaude

willbaude — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:17:56 -0800

Mine says "Life, love, libraries, have no future." (Vladimir Nabokov, Ada (1969))

By: -harlequin-

-harlequin- — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:20:11 -0800

Haha, "Think Differently" is awesome. (The grammar of that campaign was a continual wince for me)

By: terpsichoria

terpsichoria — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:23:40 -0800

Don't Panic.

By: grouse

grouse — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:24:30 -0800

harlequin: You just weren't thinking different.

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:29:50 -0800

"I ruined my ipod and all I got was this lousy catchphrase"

By: planetkyoto

planetkyoto — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:31:55 -0800

"Bono," or because it's a Mini, Bono's little brother's name.

By: andrew cooke

andrew cooke — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:34:44 -0800

slapshot57 - the warranty doesn't mention anything about engraving that i can see. why do you think an engraved ipod isn't covered?

By: j.edwards

j.edwards — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:43:46 -0800

RIAA vs. Gortuk
Exhibit A

Unfortunately, that requires some personal identification, or it's not funny. What about:

Creative Zen Micro
(c) Creative 2005

By: Capn

Capn — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:45:33 -0800

I EAT TAPES

By: slapshot57

slapshot57 — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:46:42 -0800

oops, nevermind. Either they changed their policy or I'm an idiot. I could've sworn when I chose to get my mini engraved a couple months ago they said it meant I couldn't send it back for service. Anyways, their service FAQs page says the engraving will be preserved if you send it in for service, so engrave away

By: Gortuk

Gortuk — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:51:11 -0800

Thanks for the discussion so far. Comments/updates/answers:

1) Someone at work just pointed out that the engraving is meant to discourage resale. Interestingly, the main Apple storefront offers free engraving, not a discount. The discount is only on the corporate store.

2) Unfortunately they don't allow special characters of any kind, just letters and numbers. I found that out when I tried to put the (C) symbol in for "Copyright infringement"

3) Other suggestions from offline:
"This machine kills facists"
"Intel Inside"

4) For those making serious or even not-so-serious suggestions: please keep in mind the 2-line, 23-character each line limit.

5) So far terpsichoria's is my favourite but keep them coming. I like the magical realism tip too.

By: AJaffe

AJaffe — Thu, 26 May 2005 07:58:09 -0800

Kick Out the Jams!

By: teleskiving

teleskiving — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:03:27 -0800

Bad Mother Fucker

By: WCityMike

WCityMike — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:06:13 -0800

"Bono," or because it's a Mini, Bono's little brother's name.

Actually, Bono just has an older brother, Norman.

You could always see if they'll now take any of these.

By: googly

googly — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:09:50 -0800

RIP RIAA

By: dobbs

dobbs — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:10:28 -0800

It is still covered under warranty but Apple doesn't fix units sent in. They replace them with refurb'd units so you sending it in for repair means when it comes back it won't be engraved.

"!pleH .edisni deppart kutroG"

And indeed, the engraving is to cut down on resale as most people probably get their names on them and no one wants to carry an iPod that says "I love Bobbi-Jo!".

By: dobbs

dobbs — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:14:09 -0800

And while I'm here, does anyone know a company that isn't Apple that will engrave an iPod? I'd like to get a logo on the back of one I'm giving away in a contest.

By: justgary

justgary — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:22:41 -0800

Someone at work just pointed out that the engraving is meant to discourage resale.

That's a small part of it. While it might 'discourage' resale, it prevents return completely. So if you were to buy it for yourself engraved, or for a gift for someone, and you find out they hate pink, or hate their first name, you're out of luck.

That said, I'd go with:

"goes to eleven"

By: furtive

furtive — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:55:04 -0800

"You make me sick,
I make music."

It was someone's copyright label, I can't remember who. It's fun to say out loud because it plays with the order of vowels in a musical sort of way.

Oh, and kudos to Capn for the best post of the day!

By: Specklet

Specklet — Thu, 26 May 2005 08:57:17 -0800

C'est ne pas un iPod.

By: Gortuk

Gortuk — Thu, 26 May 2005 09:08:01 -0800

Thanks for the Rejected iPod Engravings link. That made me think of:

PIRACY FUNDS TERRORISM

Although that may not be the best idea if I ever want to cross the US border with my new toy.

By: SemiSophos

SemiSophos — Thu, 26 May 2005 09:19:28 -0800

Three years later, I'm still satisfied with my pod's quote:
"There are many like it / but this one is mine." (22/20 chars)

By: kimota

kimota — Thu, 26 May 2005 09:27:17 -0800

WWJD?
JWRTFM!

By: chrismear

chrismear — Thu, 26 May 2005 09:31:25 -0800

trapped in ipod factory
please send help

By: TimothyMason

TimothyMason — Thu, 26 May 2005 09:34:38 -0800

The world is all that is in this case

By: theora55

theora55 — Thu, 26 May 2005 09:59:41 -0800

Many good ideas here. I gave one as a gift that says "Reward if Returned" and the phone #. If you really just want the -5, how about 2 lines of ascii art or cartoon swearing?
@--->-->---

:: | :: | :: |

*&%%#$$#!@^*& !?!!!

By: andrew cooke

andrew cooke — Thu, 26 May 2005 10:16:50 -0800

dobbs - jewellers used to engrave things for a fee. i don't know if they still do.

By: scazza

scazza — Thu, 26 May 2005 10:22:14 -0800

And when the refurbished unit comes back from repair it's blank, no music. Yes, if you want any chance of selling it, don't engrave.

By: juggler

juggler — Thu, 26 May 2005 10:46:58 -0800

How about "This device seemed really important in 2005"?

By: werty

werty — Thu, 26 May 2005 10:55:30 -0800

You Make Me Sick I Make Music was Soundgarden's publishing name (and my all-time favorite vanity label).

By: electroboy

electroboy — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:04:20 -0800

I'm a consumer whore!

By: Monochrome

Monochrome — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:11:12 -0800

Bite my shiny (pink/blue/silver/green) ass!

By: Monochrome

Monochrome — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:15:54 -0800

teleskilling: That's on the rejected list. They suggest "Bad Mother Fucka" as an alternative.

By: Monochrome

Monochrome — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:18:49 -0800

Sorry I bolloxed your name.

By: erebora

erebora — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:20:36 -0800

All Wrongs Reversed

By: vega5960

vega5960 — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:55:50 -0800

A Witty Saying Proves Nothing

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 26 May 2005 12:00:27 -0800

Drivers license number.

By: phearlez

phearlez — Thu, 26 May 2005 12:29:06 -0800

The repair/replace things said so far are not completely accurate. You are still under warr but you have to send it in. If you have an Apple store near you this is a bummer - my girlfriend got the free engraving because it seemed like fun. However when the unit went kaput 3 weeks later and she stopped into the store (which is conveniently near her place of employment) they said shoot, if it wasn't engraved we could just swap you another one right here and off you'd go! Instead you can wait a week for it to get to them and come back.

If you will always have to do any repair/replace by mail then this is probably not something to worry about.

By: CJB

CJB — Thu, 26 May 2005 12:38:41 -0800

Not your IPOD

By: OneOliveShort

OneOliveShort — Thu, 26 May 2005 12:42:42 -0800

The music is reversible
but time is not (turn back)

By: spinifex23

spinifex23 — Thu, 26 May 2005 13:02:49 -0800

"I am (my name here)'s iPod of Doom.
If I'm found: xxx-xxx-xxxx (my phone number)."

By: junesix

junesix — Thu, 26 May 2005 13:41:06 -0800

After reading some of the above suggestions, your email address sounds like a good idea. Could come in handy if your iPod is stolen and later found by a generous individual. Safer than a phone number or address, too.

By: kindall

kindall — Thu, 26 May 2005 13:47:03 -0800

I suggest: DON'T STEAL MUSIC.

I was going to go with "Toynbee Ideas in Kubrick's 2001 Resurrect Dead On Planet Jupiter" but that's too long.

By: Frank Grimes

Frank Grimes — Thu, 26 May 2005 14:44:22 -0800

Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear. (Do iPod Minis have shiny backs?)

By: NickDouglas

NickDouglas — Thu, 26 May 2005 15:32:55 -0800

"You live and learn.
At any rate, you live."
(-- Douglas Adams)

So where are the cheap-ass used, engraved iPods? I'd certainly buy one.

By: krisjohn

krisjohn — Thu, 26 May 2005 17:20:54 -0800

Sweatshop

By: 6550

6550 — Thu, 26 May 2005 18:17:19 -0800

I like the Intel Inside idea.

By: katherine

katherine — Fri, 27 May 2005 01:33:49 -0800

here are two (short) quotes I like that seem fitting for an ipod:

"Time is precious. Do nothing." -- Buddha

"Progress is a comfortable disease." -- ee cummings

By: Gortuk

Gortuk — Fri, 27 May 2005 05:10:46 -0800

OK, terpsichoria wins. (Although my wife had a last-minute contender with "MORE COWBELL"). "DON'T PANIC" is simple, classic, and adds the least amount of pretension to the already-fraught act of purchasing an Apple product. Thanks everyone!