Moving out of my parents' home: good or bad idea?
July 26, 2011 3:32 AM Subscribe
Is moving out of my parents’ house a good or a bad idea? On the one hand if feels foolish to leave behind a rent-free, comfortable room in a loving home, but on the other hand the desire to feel more independent carries a lot more emotional weight for me.
posted by efsrous to Human Relations (29 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
So here is my situation: I am 19 and living at home. I dropped out of a four year university in the middle of my freshman year for depression related reasons. I failed all my courses first quarter and it looked like my grades were headed in the same direction in my second quarter. My parents were surprised by this, and sad that I was suffering, but overall supportive and glad to have me home. Since moving home, I have a new career goal about which I am passionate (nursing), and I have been going to therapy and taking medication. I will be starting school again in the fall at a local community college.
Things are going fairly well for me, but I cannot shake this burning desire to move out. I love my parents dearly, but I feel like I am stagnating my own personal development by living at home, and I can’t help but feel a bit smothered. I try to pull my own weight in the household, but it is not enough to make me feel like an adult. I waver hourly between thinking moving out is a great idea and believing that it is a huge mistake. Here are the pro and con viewpoints that wage a daily battle in my mind:
Pro: I need to learn to live as an independent adult. I have very little experience shopping or cooking for myself, budgeting or running my own household. These are skills I need to learn, and I fear as long as I have my parents to lean on, the impetus for learning them will not be there. I also simply have an emotional need for space from my parents. I feel like I am back in high school when I’m at home, and often feel stifled and uncomfortable.
Con: Moving out is financially irresponsible. Rent would easily take up 50-60% of my monthly income, while living at home would allow me to save up a nest egg. What if I fall back into my old patterns and am not able to sustain good performance at school or work? My parents have always been my emotional supports for dealing with my depression.
My parents do not think moving out is a good idea, and my therapist seems to think it would be wiser to stay at home and save. I just can't shake the desire to move out though, so I welcome any advice that can help me make this decision.