July 18, 2011 3:17 AM Subscribe
How do I go about making friends? I know the theory
I just never manage it in reality...
posted by twine42 to Human Relations (14 answers total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
I realised recently that I have no friends (and barely any aquaintences) and that the lack of human interaction is having a negative effect on me.
I live with my other half in a nice village with houses all around, but I speak to none of them. I work in an office with people of vastly differing ages with whom I have nothing in common. I spend a lot of time on the internet but I don't spend much time discussing things, just lurking and occasional drive-by commenting. I've spent time at the gym / wing chung / pillates but at the end of the class I always hang around for a minute or two, feeling embarassed, and then leave without talking to anyone.
So - I guess that I do things that should lead to conversations, but I just never quite manage it.
Strangely, I have 'friends' from University who I speak to less than once a year (and always when they make contact with me) but who I just don't think about when they aren't there. As soon as they leave the conversation I just stop thinking about them. As a family member put it "you have schrodinger's friends - you don't know if they're sat there patiently, or died a decade ago".
At the moment, the majority of my conversations are with the girls at the coffee shop. We get on well, and we all seem to enjoy the conversations, but they've all been started by them interacting with the weird bloke who comes in every day, rather than me interacting with the nice people serving my addiction.
So... how do I start talking to people, developing and maintaining friendships when it seems like every fibre of my body doesn't care?