Postponing College

July 15, 2011 9:16 AM

I'm a 21 year old college sophomore who's as independent as a fourteen year old. I'm thinking about rectifying this by dropping out and taking up a trade or technical degree, then going back once I'm established.

I rely on my parents for all of my income because I haven't found employment despite years of looking. I've been unhappy with life for awhile now because of how dependent I am - I have food and shelter but that's about it, don't get out unless someone else pays, don't like where I live, don't really feel like I'm living life because I can't afford to. It's like I'm just coasting by, learning how to deal while I wait to finish my degree and enter the "real" world. This doesn't sit well with me because I'm very much a "live life in the moment" person - who knows how long I'll be here? I haven't been enjoying the journey for awhile now and because I'm a psych major I have a long, long journey before I can even think of schooling helping me out.

My friends and relationships that I've built here feel temporary. Everything about my life feels temporary because I've always intended to leave, it's just been taking longer than I expected. I want my life to "begin," even most sophomores in college seem to be able to find part-time work so they can at least get out once in awhile, have a good time with friends, leave the house without asking the parents for a bus pass... you get the picture.

I've been thinking of what I can do to change my situation, but frankly I'm scared to leave school. I made a list of pros and cons and here it is:

Pros:
1) Being able to support myself. I don't have any grand visions about this; when I see myself as an independent I think of a small apartment and buying clothes/furniture from the thrift store, having a cat, being able to choose not to stock sweets in the apartment.

2) Being able to save up for things I'd like to do, like maybe take a weekend trip or have a professional mani/pedi once in awhile.

3) Faster than finishing college.

4) Actually living life instead of waiting for it to begin, maybe feel happy with where I am in life.

Cons
1) I imagine I'll be in my mid to late twenties by the time I'm able to go back - this means I'll be finishing a bachelor's while my friends are finishing med school, law school, etc. This bothers me, but I can't pinpoint why.

2) Right now I have the advantage of being able to go to school, do volunteer work, internships, research, whatever to pad my grad school application. If I leave now and go back when I'm working and have to worry about bills, classes that fit my schedule, and so on it'll likely be difficult just to finish the required courses. I'm also risking putting college and starting the career I'd really like (psychology) at the same time I'm trying to start a family.

3) My whole identity is wrapped into academics. I'm not sure how to put this, but I've never had the "should I go to college?" question. It's always been what do I do to get into a good college, now what do I do to get into a good grad school, and so on. My friends and activities are mostly centered around school. I know there's a big difference in my world now vs my world if I take up a trade or get a tech degree and that scares me.

4) Status quo - I worry that I'll go from being congratulated about future career prospects to being looked down on.

5) I'm a petite ciswoman and am not sure taking up a trade would even be a viable career move because of stereotyping, prejudice, and things of that sort that I've read about.

If you've done something like this, how did it turn out? Do you have any regrets? If you've thought about it and decided not to, why? I'm also interested in hearing from people who had the means to attend college but chose not to for whatever reason - how did it turn out for you?

posted by Pericardium to education (39 answers total)

It can be really hard to go back when you leave. The support you are getting from your parents is a golden oppurtunity to finish college now. Unless you hit the lottery, there will never be a better time.

You're a sophomore. If you are taking classes full time- which you should, since you are not working- you will be done in two years. That's nothing.

Actually living life instead of waiting for it to begin

This has nothing to do with going to college. Believe me, if you get stuck in a job you don't like, and it's hard for you to move on because you don't have a degree, you're not going to feel any more "alive".

I worked full time, (sometimes more than 40 hours) while going to college full time. It was not awesome. I would not take it for granted that working a job that doesn't require college in a small apartment is going to help you find anything you are looking for.

You can tough it out for two years, and do whatever you want, or you can do whatever you want now, with possibly significant adverse affects to the rest of your life. You're twenty-one and life is really long if you're trapped by past mistakes. This about this.
posted by spaltavian at 9:35 AM on July 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

What about a part-time on-campus job? There must be something available for you. Have you been to the student employment office? That would at least give you a little spending money that you could spend on going out or doing activities. It sounds like you already volunteer - can you focus more on that and try to make that your social outlet? I've met a lot of wonderful friends through volunteering.
posted by jrichards at 9:37 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's extremely hard out there in the job market without a degree, and trying to trade out for a skilled trade may be harder than expected as a woman. (Financial Recovery Looks like Man-covery.)

It's not going to get less expensive to go to school later; interest rates on student loans are not going to go down. It's much harder to find the money and the time to go back to school when you have a full-time job that you require to support yourself.

My husband and I both missed out on college; he's 41 and we're finally able for him to go back part time. It's unlikely I will make it back; the time and expense is too much to balance against our living needs.

You are living your life; you're just not living the life you want to. It gives you something to aspire to. If you want to have a job that does more than cover the bills (being able to afford a cat, a vacation, a mani/pedi) your best bet is to finish your degree now to give yourself the best advantage in a very tight job market.

OR, join the job market now, fully assuming that you will never go back to college. If you manage to, awesome, but I wouldn't count on it. Life, bills, and other stuff have a funny way of keeping you on the path you're already on. The older and more entrenched you get, the harder it gets to deviate.
posted by headspace at 9:37 AM on July 15, 2011

One interesting piece of economics that was recently explained to me by a senior employment lawyer at my firm is that if person A does not go to college and (say) gets a trade and is able to $10,000 a year from age 20 until age 30, that person will have essentially the same savings at retirement as Person B who goes to college and then graduate/professional school and saves $10,000 a year for the rest of their lives (assuming the same rates of return, and not event taking into account the cost of education at all). I can't seem to find the handout in the mess of papers in my office, so the actual ages may be off by a year or two, but you get the gist.

I think dropping out a getting a trade is a fantastic idea (for some people); trudging along on the education treadmill doesn't ensure you have 1) a good life; 2) a good education; or 3) economic prospects. Only you can be sure whether it's a good choice for you, but if you're able to 1) save early on and 2) avoid going into debt, you can have a very good lifestyle.

Good luck!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:38 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Everything in life is only for now. College is one of the most temporary things. While some of the people you meet will be with you forever, most are just there for now.

I get that you don't want to rely on your parents anymore. But if completing college is a goal at all for you, then you probably shouldn't withdraw. Odds are if you do, you never will return.

You'll have plenty of time to support yourself in just 2 years. It's not that long. In the meantime, you keep throwing yourself into looking for a part time job.

And really, that's the biggest con, isn't it? If you can't find a job now...how is it that you can find a job then when you're not in school, when you absolutely need one in order to live.
posted by inturnaround at 9:39 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know where you live but I'm having a hard time with the can't find a part time job thing. Fast food turnover is frequently over 100% annually. It's probably toned down a bit in this economy, but fast food is always hiring. Restaurants always need dishwashers and waiters. Car dealerships, as they typically pay 100% commission, are usually hiring too. Can you get a "good" job as a 21 year old with no experience? Probably not. And it'll be even worse as a 21 year old college drop out with no experience.

The cost and value of college has been in the news a lot lately, but if your cost is essentially zero, the ROI on a degree is going to be astronomical. Unemployment for non-college grads right now is 10%, for college grads it is 4%. Work harder at finding a part time job, stick it out and get your degree, and then move on.
posted by COD at 9:48 AM on July 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

I did that a few years ago, but with a bunch of other reasons thrown in. However, I took an official year and a half leave of absence and notified my university exactly when I would be coming back, complete with class schedules as part of a revised academic plan.

In a way, it was great and I can't imagine that things would have worked out so well for me if I hadn't done it. I packed up my stuff and moved to the West Coast (where I live now after I went back home and wrapped up my degree in five semesters). I was offered several good jobs with decent pay despite not having a degree, thanks to legal and programming skills I had taught myself during various part-time jobs I had been doing as an undergraduate – you may not be so lucky. Despite that I ended up several tens of thousands of dollars in debt, which my parents ended up paying off for me (I can't say that they were happy about it, but they've never held it against me).

Having said that, it really, really sucked to tell people, while on the West Coast by myself, that this was just an in-between year for me before going back to school – lots of eye-rolling, as you can imagine. It felt like everything was just on hold until I got to do what I actually wanted to do (good luck being a biochemist without a degree), and I only felt back on track once I was in college again.

The good news is that on paper, I was no longer considered a dependent of my parents (despite how it worked out in reality), and my fancy private university was pretty much free thanks to financial aid for the two and a half years after I came back.
posted by halogen at 9:51 AM on July 15, 2011

Umm. What makes you think that by dropping out of college you're going to be able to land a job that's going to support you in the kind of lifestyle you've described?

Admiral Haddock may be right about the numbers--compound interest is more powerful over longer periods of time--but the story he paints is wrong about the reality. Most people without a college degree are going to find it completely impossible to save $10,000 a year. Or even a reasonable fraction of that. Hell, I'm a lawyer, and I can't save anywhere near that much.*

Say you get yourself a job paying $10 an hour. We'll even assume it's at Starbucks, so you've got access to benefits. You're now making $20,000 a year. After taxes, that's more like $18,000, at best. $500 a month in rent takes you down to $12,000, and if you spend $50 a week on food, you're down to $10,000 total. With that you have to pay for transportation (car, insurance, and gas), utilities, everything else you need to live. And note that we haven't even talked about paying for health insurance and have included zero allowance for things like entertainment, vacations, car repairs, getting sick, or savings. $20,000 just isn't a lot of money these days.

I can't think of a job that you could probably get that would permit you to earn more than that. And it would probably suck. Lots of people with better credentials and more experience than you are looking for work right now.

Getting an associates or other trade degree isn't necessarily going to help you much. The construction industry is in the toilet, and I know a bunch of union guys who are basically destitute because they only get a job or two a year.

So stay in school. You may not like it much, but unless you're taking on student loans, dropping out is probably going to be worse for you in the long run.

*Curse you, student loans!
posted by valkyryn at 9:54 AM on July 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

Regarding the job issue, check with your university. I worked on campus while I was in school as a caterer. The university food service hired me part time and I worked on setting up, serving, and cleaning up banquets and stuff like that. Some days we had several "drops" to do during the day (drop off a tray of cookies and lemonade at meetings, etc) that we could do between classes. The nights and weekends were for the fancier banquets. The work was year round, and depending on the events they had booked, my classes, and my desire I could work as many hours as I wanted. During the summers I would get close to 40 hours a week easily.

It wasn't tied to financial aid...it was just a part time job. Not to mention I learned skills that would have gotten me jobs at other catering companies and hotels anywhere I went (if I had followed that career). The supervisors taught me how to calculate how many gallons of tea and coffee to make, how to cut a wedding cake, and plating stuff because I was interested in learning. I loved it. And as I psych major myself, I totally enjoyed the people watching while serving.

I wouldn't drop out of school if I were you, but I would think outside the box for jobs you can do. Find something interesting (and not career related) to shake yourself out of your rut and make you come alive.
posted by MultiFaceted at 10:04 AM on July 15, 2011

Dropping out of college to sort out personal issues is never a good idea. In today's world, if you don't have a degree in something, you won't have a pleasant life. Especially when your parents are paying for everything, stay in school. They might now want to help again when you decide to come back. Then your stuck in a real mess. Sort out what you can in the next two years, afterwards, do what you have to do to become independent.
posted by NotSoSiniSter at 10:08 AM on July 15, 2011

You're taking your current freedoms for granted, which I also did. I had friends who had to pay for their way through college, where I did not. They had less free time than I did, but they did more with their time. The same thing for exchange students who were only in the area for a year or two - they had seen more of California than I had growing up in the state.

Work isn't life for everyone. Some people love their work, but others count the hours until the end of the day, or until the weekend, when they can do what they want.

As for feeling temporary with your current situation: you could land a great job, but get laid off or fired, and need to relocate due to lack of job potentials in the area, or you could be offered something away from where you live. Nothing is forever.

If you haven't found a job yet, what would change with putting school on hold for a year or two? Has the issue been a lack of flexibility in working hours? Are you looking for a specific line of work? And if you're trying to get work and not getting help from your parents, do you have any savings to help you get situated for a while?

My idea: treat school like your job, focusing on it for an 8 hour time period, taking short breaks and time for lunch. Study and complete assignments between classes to replicate a working day. I know not all jobs have the strict structure of a day, but it sounds like this might be something you're looking for - less freedom for part of your time, so the rest of it can better enjoyed. If that's not enough, get a part-time job, so you can earn money to buy used furniture and clothing.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:11 AM on July 15, 2011

Wait, what are you going to do while you're pursuing the trade and technical degree? If as you say, you can't find a job now, your prospects while pursuing a different degree aren't any better. So you may as well finish the degree path you're on, because it will surely lead to a better lifestyle.

Don't look for a steady job right now, just make some income babysitting or dog walking or tutoring. Then you'll at least have money to do fun things and that may make living with your parents more tolerable.
posted by desjardins at 10:18 AM on July 15, 2011

I had some of the same fantasies while in college - and in retrospect college was totally incredible. My schoolwork was far more interesting than working is (a little crazy with the workload - but super intellectually challenging) which you can only really know in retrospect.

Many of my peers took time off during college, but my parents basically thought it was stupid and that I was having unrealistic fantasies about supporting myself and doing fun stuff without a college degree (they were right. At the time I thought they were being mean.)

I'd suggest pursuing classes and activities you're really passionate about. I spent a ton of time on side pursuits in college. One thing that I did was start an organization that booked bands on campus and got to book some of my favorite bands to come hang out with me and entertain my friends. Colleges give you money to do stuff like that. I also had a side business making stuff and selling it - very fun. I took out ads, sold to local stores on consignment, made a ton of friends and pen pals, and sometimes made some spending cash.

I could have taken both of these side activities and made them a career if I wanted to - sometimes I wish I had. Anyway, it was really good experience and fun.

Basically you are super lucky to have this free time. College is a time to focus entirely on you. If you want to learn a trade, why don't you spend some spare time doing it? Start a business for spending cash! Explore your passions.
posted by rainydayfilms at 10:22 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

valkyryn, thanks for clarifying. I'm not proposing that the OP drop out of school to bus tables (which I agree sounds like a terrible idea, and likely to lead to a life of penury)--but if she drops out and can get a viable skilled trade (e.g., those guys who are installing green wind turbines) without going into debt, it can be a viable alternative to going through college aimlessly. I agree that it's highly unlikely that one can just magically save $10,000 without having a good job and low debts.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:22 AM on July 15, 2011

3) My whole identity is wrapped into academics. I'm not sure how to put this, but I've never had the "should I go to college?" question. It's always been what do I do to get into a good college, now what do I do to get into a good grad school, and so on. My friends and activities are mostly centered around school. I know there's a big difference in my world now vs my world if I take up a trade or get a tech degree and that scares me.

To add to my prior advice - this is probably something to work on. Your entire identity should not be wrapped up in any one thing (not a relationship, not your profession, not school). This will lead to heartbreak.

Take a break between undergrad and grad school if you want a break from academics.

I double my suggestion to get some hobbies and interests!
posted by rainydayfilms at 10:26 AM on July 15, 2011

I dropped out of college to start life (back when most computer programmers didn't have degrees), and it was a fantastic decision. I don't recommend it to anyone else.

I agree with the other commenters that going back is a struggle. Frankly, once one has settled into a six figure lifestyle it's kinda hard to say "I should take a few years off, spend a quarter of a million bucks, and get a degree so I can step this up a notch". I'd also posit that if you're having trouble finding work now, then you're probably the sort of person who would benefit from the structure of school. I've one acquaintance who graduated this spring who, when out of work, printed out a stack of resumes, walked ten blocks down a commercial district, knocking on every single door asking to talk to someone with hiring ability. He found the job that took him through the rest of college on the second block on the way back.

Do you have a trade in mind that really fires you up? A trade isn't a bad idea, but if you're going to commit these years to getting excellent at something and turning it into a career, it should be something that you're going to be happy to devote a damned big portion of your life doing. You should wake up every morning saying "Damn, I'm glad I'm doing this!". If you haven't found that yet, then I'd say use parents and the college framework to search a bit more. In other words: If you drop out to pursue a trade, pursue that trade, don't plan on going back to college.

So, my suggestions to someone trying to find a reason to stay in school, the advice I should have gotten:

First: Find the professors who are interesting. Somewhere in your school are people who are fired up about a subject that you can get fired up about too. They're probably not where you first looked. They're probably not in any of the "electives". It's probably not a subject you thought you were excited about. In my case, one of them was a physics professor who wrote some educational software, I ended up writing some educational software for him, I learned more from him than any other teacher at school. Got a few 400 level independent study physics credits that I couldn't apply to anything too, as well as a couple of grants that went towards tuition and books.

Second: Don't treat the connections with other students as temporary. I mean, sure, college hookups are college hookups, but the thing that has hurt me in my career isn't the lack of degree, it's that when I go to conferences all the MIT Media Lab folks know each other, all the U.Dub. or UNC folks know each other. They all have dirt on each other. Sure, I started to make those connections later, but I did it 5-10 (or more) years after everyone else did. Find your fellow students who are fired up about what you're fired up about, and network like crazy. In fact, my advice to several kids I've known who've been through college, much to the chagrin of their parents, has been "Get into the best school you can, do the absolute minimum you have to to pass, and party your ass off". "Party your ass off" may, in fact, mean "get involved in some big research project that means you spend most of your semester drinking coffee to try to stay awake in the lab", or "start a cafe with a couple of other students" or "collaborate on writing porn", but the point stands: Unless you're going into a big company, your grades don't matter. The connections you make with your fellow students matter. That's what's going to stick with you through the rest of your life, if you make those connections matter.

Go wander through a building you don't spend much time in, look on professor's doors for a mix of cartoons that strikes your fancy, and strike up a conversation. Or do the same thing in a section of town you don't go to often to see if you can find a trade that excites you. But find the thing that fires you up first, and then pursue that, don't think that a major lifestyle change is going to automatically reveal that thing to you.
posted by straw at 10:31 AM on July 15, 2011 [17 favorites]

I am in the "thought about it, decided not to" camp. In my case, it wasn't a lack of freedom but fairly interruptive depression that caused me to wonder if I was completely wasting my time and someone else's money.

After school, I moved to Seattle and got a temp job in game testing, which was in a field I always wanted to be part of. As an education, it was invaluable and paved the way for my current position. But as a lifestyle, I hated it, and it hated me. I had virtually no social life thanks to twelve-hour days, the grind and monotony beat a lot of creativity out of me that I am still struggling to recover six years later, stuff like that.

But, like I said, as an education and preparation for the future, it was very useful. So it may help you, should you decide to stay in (which I think you should do), to think of this as a form of "paying your dues". It's tough to handle now, I totally get that, and you keep thinking about all the other, better stuff you could be doing. But school now will pave the way for a lot of that better stuff, none of which is guaranteed but a lot of which will be easier to attain with a degree. You might not like what you're doing now, but you're not wasting your time.

You're right that nothing is guaranteed and there's a chance that you won't be around long enough to reap the rewards of your labor. So what? Yes, the moment and living in it is important. But it is also important to treat those moments not as disconnected events but as elements of a fabric that builds upon and strengthens itself. There is value in knowing that you worked to create the thing you have, and there is value in knowing that you can, when necessary, endure discomfort for a greater personal good.

Is it necessary now? I can't answer that for you. I can tell you that sophomore year was the nadir of my college experience and when I considered dropping out the hardest. Once I got to junior year and started focusing almost exclusively on my concentrations, I found the experience much more tolerable, with a lot less busywork and more interesting questions. I also found that I had much more time for a social life and was able to spread myself across my variety of interests better.

I think I've given you enough for two answers now, at least, so I'll stop. Good luck, whatever you decide.
posted by Errant at 10:44 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Just as a sidenote - I would say that a majority of the more mainstream trades (not including those which are niche to your region and the industries tere) require just as much training as getting the rest of your planned degrees out of the way, they just don't require the same amount of classroom time. So if you're thinking you'll pop into classes for nine months for your IT certificate, yeah, it may be only 9 months, but not everyone builds up a reputation (or can find an employer willing to hire someone with only an IT cert in this hyper-educated society) fast enough to make a livable wage. Likewise, plumbers, electricians, lower-level healthcare providers - all of those trades often have lengthy periods where you work as an apprentice, have practicums, etcetera before you can work independently for any sort of real money. Healthcare providers like EMTs, licensed nursing assistants, and even paramedics can often work right after graduating but the pay is commeasurate with the education level, and in some places the people saving your life in the ambulance are making 12 bucks an hour. Sounds like a buttload of money to someone planning a small apartment, a kitty, and thrift store clothes, but it's not. And in many places, even experienced people in those trades are struggling to find work if they've lost it.

Let me put it this way. If you have been looking for employment for years without any special snowflake terms and conditions, and can't find ANYTHING, no dog walking, no eight hours a week at the fast food joint, no sporadic but well paying babysitting gigs, then your job market there does not sound like the type of place you are goig to jump in and out of some trade and make a few bucks to live on in the meantime. This is, as some have said, your golden opportunity. Find ways to start living by enjoying the free stuff in life - the outdoors, good company, the opportunity to fully devote yourself to the real meat of your education (if psych is truly what you're excited about doing) - and prep yourself for days when you may have to drag yourself to work when the going may get tough and you don't have the option of parents who (awesomely!) are letting you treat school as a full time job, which it can be, if you look at it the right way.
posted by takoukla at 10:50 AM on July 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

It feels as though you feel having a social circle dominated by fellow students is abnormal or somehow unsatisfying. There's no reason that should be the case. In my own life, I am still closest to the friends I made in college and law school--the friendships that fuel my intellectual curiosity are deeply satisfying to me.

I also struggled financially in school, despite scholarships and student loans. Work, back then, was tutoring students in logic while school was in; when school was out, I worked in a record store, as a barista, as a bouncer for private parties, and as a valet parking cars for tip money. None of these jobs were "satisfying" but they provided pocket money. Those kinds of jobs still exist. Starbucks is perpetually hiring, as are many hotels and other service industry jobs.

As others have said, those jobs are dependent on tradespeople and professionals. If those jobs don't exist in your community, it's not likely that you're going to find trade work, either.

It's far easier to deal with being a poor college student now, when you're young, than it will be when you're older. Now is the time to enjoy cheap wine, cheap communal food with friends, the outdoors, and friendly sports. Now is also the time to mooch off the parental-units and milk them for all they're worth be thankful for the parental help with housing and food. Just find the field of study that you're excited about, and make that your major. School will be more fun, and your like-minded friends also.
posted by Hylas at 11:12 AM on July 15, 2011

I rely on my parents for all of my income because I haven't found employment despite years of looking.

Dropping out won't solve that problem. It will do the opposite.
posted by mhoye at 11:27 AM on July 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

The grass is always greener on the other side. I worked full time while going to school and though I didn't have to question myself regarding my capability for independence, I also had no life because I had to work all the time to support myself. I envied all you students who had mom n dad's support.

Trade school costs money, jobs are scarce, and you can't get an apartment working at an entry level position of the type you would get with no work history. I hate to slam reality in your face, but your best bet is to finish school, then proabaly move back in with your parents for a while until you have a savings cushion.

Most of my (25 and older) friends live at home with parents or get money from them on a regular basis. They think I'm such a hard worker because I do everything myself. that's correct, but I'm also jaded as hell from playing the game and I'm only 26. Take the support you're being given right now.
posted by WeekendJen at 12:31 PM on July 15, 2011

Consider obtaining a paralegal certificate while still in school, or during the summer.
posted by blargerz at 1:02 PM on July 15, 2011

I rely on my parents for all of my income because I haven't found employment despite years of looking

As long as you're in school, don't feel ashamed about that. The flavour I got from your question was that you won't feel like a worthy human being until you're supporting yourself. Tons of us older people are calling to you from the other side, telling you not to over-think this thing. Stay in school and figure out ways to make your studies feel relevant to your future.

See if there are any openings in the school bookstore. ANY kind of part-time work will get you out among other people.
posted by bonobothegreat at 1:19 PM on July 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Your 20s are all about not being able to afford the life that you want and borrowing money from your parents (which is a perfectly fine thing to do, provided you will return the favor by taking care of them when they get old). Relax, drink cheap beer, and enjoy college. Life doesn't immediately get better when you graduate and get a job.
posted by easy_being_green at 1:57 PM on July 15, 2011

Being broke is part of being an undergrad. No one has any money when they're an undergrad, do they? I certainly didn't and none of my friends did, and we had a blast despite that. Don't be too eager to be an adult.
posted by fso at 2:38 PM on July 15, 2011

This is a terrible plan. A self-supporting trade requires education, and if you're going to be in school you might as well finish college.

It sounds like the real issue here is that you have no money of your own. I realise the economy is tough but I am not buying that you can't earn any money at all. Campus jobs, fast food, baby sitting, tutoring, lawn mowing... you can buy your own bus pass and your own beer if you make finding work a priority.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:11 PM on July 15, 2011

Your "pros" are pretty weak. You want to pay somebody else to buff your feet, and you want to depend on stuff like a thrift store having (1) winter boots (2) with warmth left in them (3) in your size (4) still waiting there in stock for you. What you describe in the "have a cat" lifestyle sounds delightful at your age, IS delightful in your twenties, but will suck over the long term and is not something to aspire to, for the winter boot issue outlined above.

Your idea is a bad one for the many reasons already outlined above; let me also toss out that if I was your parent, I'd be heartbroken by this. How lovely to have the means to provide, even if luxuries are a little lacking (and I am not at all unsympathetic here; I remember being a student, living with my parents, finding $10 on the street, and thinking: now I can buy a brand of soap I am not allergic to! Soap!).

If things went exactly as planned and you had a small income and an apartment and a cat and so on you would be 'grown up' in the way that you are thinking about, but you would stop thinking about manicures; your sparse spare dollars would be carefully accounted for, and you would use them to buy cat food, bus passes, and other things that are very boring and somewhat painful to spend money on. I would suggest running the numbers for an apartment (inventory everything in your current environment, down to the mattress pads, and factor in their replacement costs, along with the more obvious expenses) and running the numbers for fun weekend getaways, and thinking if degree/no degree is worth what would likely amount to one or two weekends a year saved up for and spent in a town two hours away.

The amount of stuff that it would likely take to make you happy would require very little work; I think you want to look into making something that would be reasonably likely to sell on Etsy or some such. Babysitting at 21 might feel silly, but it would be honest work...
posted by kmennie at 5:36 PM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well, I went to community college, dropped out to pay rent, found something I liked to do in the trades (gardening/garden design), and thought I would be able to do that for the rest of my life.

I worked hard, took classes on the side, learned a ton about plants, irrigation, soil, construction; designed and installed gardens in San Francisco that made the people who paid for them happy, and... I still was only getting paid 16 bucks an hour, still had to live with roommates, and worst of all, wasn't taken seriously even if I was (for example) telling my manager that something the construction crew was building did not meet code. So I went back to school, and I'm now pursuing a degree in Landscape Architecture. I still want to work outside and can't imagine myself working in a LA office, but we'll see. At any rate, I'll be in a much better position to get paid reasonably and be taken seriously, whatever I decide to do. The one good thing working and not schooling got me was figuring out what exactly I want to do in life, and what I can do well. If you already know, there's not much point in quitting to spend a few years learning a trade. I might feel differently if you actually had a profession in mind instead of sort of a vague notion.

Anyway, from my point of view, you're not taking advantage of being in college. There should be campus jobs, there's tons at mine. Don't worry if it's not in your field, or won't help with grad school. Stop thinking about grad school right now, and plan to get out in two years if you like (just keep your grades up). I know you're chafing about living at home, but try and go there only to sleep if you can. Take advantage of the fact that college is cheap for you now.
posted by oneirodynia at 6:41 PM on July 15, 2011

Campus jobs at my college are only available to work study students and my parents make too much for me to qualify. I've applied to Starbucks, Wal Mart, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Subway, Pizza Hut, JC Penny, Target, and off-campus jobs of that sort numerous times over and never get called back. When I call I'm usually told the position was filled, they weren't hiring in the first place, or they'll call me back later (and they never do.) Tried pet sitting/walking and babysitting jobs and couldn't find anything there either. I wish it was as easy for me as it seems to be for other people to find work.

Looks like I have a lot more thinking to do. When I read everything here and think "I should stay," I get this sick to my stomach feeling at how long I'll be in this situation waiting for schooling to pay off. I'm a psych major and I'll need at least a master's before my degree will be of any use. When I think of leaving I feel unhappy because I'm really interested in my future-field and don't want to postpone that.
posted by Pericardium at 7:30 PM on July 15, 2011

I did do this. It is working out for me so far.

I was 2 years into university and was similarly unhappy with my financial situation (depending on parents AND working my ass off at a crappy part time job). I took a year off university and took a massage therapy course. It was really great for me personally to be in a totally different environment for a while. The next year I was back in university with a renewed sense of direction and was able to work part time in a job I enjoy much more and make much better money in. I don't feel the pressure I felt before about rising debt or having to finish on schedule.

However!
I think it was a pretty specific set of circumstances that made this work for me. I was unsure where I was going with my university education, I kept changing my degree, didn't know when I would finish it, and knew I would run out of funds eventually. I was still able to get student loans for trade school though, and knew I would probably be able to make enough to not need loans when I went back to university. As other people have pointed out, this is not the case for many tradespeople, and most probably cannot set their own schedule or work mostly evenings and weekends like I do. Also, like you I'm a petite femme woman, and there are probably few other trades where this would not be a worry at all. My school had no problem with me taking a year off (I didn't have to reapply). This might not be the case for you.

Lastly, would you have to pay your own way through trade school? Would you still be able to live at home? While study is supposed to take up most of your time in university I've found that it only takes a few hours per day if you're not a huge studier. In trade school you often are obligated to be sitting in a classroom (or equivalent) from 9 to 5, so working a part time job to support yourself might be even more out of the question. Furthermore, the tuition can be much higher than for a university (this might only be true in Canada). My university tuition for this year will only cost about 2/3 of what I paid to go to massage school, or half of what my friend paid to go to paramedic school.
posted by rosken at 7:53 PM on July 15, 2011

There's a middle path. Right now, you think the options are either dropping out of school at 21 and then returning in your thirties to finish your bachelors and get your masters (and you might lose the credits you have now with that much time passed, so realistically it will take you much more than a few years to finish), or continue with school to finish this degree and the next one.

What about finishing your bachelors degree and then getting a job. In two short years, you could get a job that pays better than McDonalds. In your thirties, you could still return to school for your masters degree and you'll finish faster.
posted by Houstonian at 8:22 PM on July 15, 2011

Tried pet sitting/walking and babysitting jobs and couldn't find anything there either. I wish it was as easy for me as it seems to be for other people to find work.

If you really want petsitting, put up a website with images of yourself with some animals, your rates, and your qualifications. I just hired a pet sitter today because I liked her website better than her competitors.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:35 PM on July 15, 2011

I am an academic who was in school for ages; I never really bought the idea that college is somehow on another world that is not "real life." But that's me.

You keep saying you are a psych major who will need to get an MA in order to make money in psychology. This sounds like you have a very clear idea of what psychology-related profession you are seeking.

But then you say you want to drop out of school for at least a while because everything feels unreal and unfulfilling and you want a job now.

Is it possible that you don't actually like your psych major all that much and would like to change your mind about your major and switch to something that you do find compelling and worth staying in school for?

Also, if money is going to be a big issue in your independence, are you sure that your chosen career path makes good money? I have friends who majored in psychology and ended up as social workers with low salaries despite their MA/MSW degrees. (Doing excellent and important work that unfortunately does not command a high salary in our society.)

What if you changed to a major that offered a good to great chance of a well-paying job upon graduation with a BA? Would that make you feel better about staying in school?

Have you talked to anyone at your college's career counseling office? Or even their academic counseling office? They can be really helpful and deal with these issues all the time.
posted by egret at 12:52 AM on July 16, 2011

I'm a psych major and I'll need at least a master's before my degree will be of any use. When I think of leaving I feel unhappy because I'm really interested in my future-field and don't want to postpone that.

This statement in not consistent with your expressed desire to drop out and experience independence. Are you sure that your present career path is really sending you where you want to spend the rest of your life? As a sophomore, you are in a good position to rethink your future and change your major to something that will have more value when you complete your BA.

You also sound kind of depressed and disconnected from your life, which may explain why you're not getting calls back for any of these jobs. Nobody wants to hire a gloomy gus. Focusing on improving the life you're already living, and figuring out some appealing alternatives for your post-grad life, are going to do more for you in the immediate term than dropping out to study some nebulous trade can do. Trade school requires passion and drive, neither of which you seem to have right now.
posted by Scram at 5:19 AM on July 16, 2011

One more job idea: I don't knowyour location, but check into local psychiatric treatment centers for a part time job. The ones I worked at only required 2 years of college completed. You would be a direct care staff/aide, but you would be working directly with patients and get TONS of experience in psych and pick up a lot of knowledge about how treatment works for different people. My grad school experience was greatly enhanced by working in a facility while I was in grad school. So check around your area for places like that.

What career in psych are you aiming for?

I have read your other questions, and I think it's time to dig a little deeper here: what does an independent 21 year old look like? Besides what you listed above, when you envision yourself as independent, what do you see yourself doing on a daily/weekly basis? How will you know you are independent?

You don't have to answer this here, but how are things going with mom lately? Is she on your case about something? Is there something at home you are wanting to get away from? (I want you to think about these questions and talk to a counselor about them...I'm not looking for a public answer from you. Sounds like something deeper is bugging you...maybe you don't really want to be in psych?)
posted by MultiFaceted at 5:40 AM on July 16, 2011

I do love psychology, but it's true that if my degree would be useful at the bachelor's level I would feel a LOT better about staying in school for the next two years. I'm going to look into picking up another major that will be more useful in landing a job with just a bachelor's. I'm still going to continue in psychology but I hear that most people double major with that anyway.
posted by Pericardium at 6:47 AM on July 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

Tried pet sitting/walking and babysitting jobs and couldn't find anything there either.

There is DEFINITELY pet sitting/walking and babysitting work. I'd try harder here. Focus on one or the other (which sounds better to you?).

If you want to petsit/dogwalk (I would choose this one)...

1. Do a little competitive research to see what other petsitters are charging and how they are presenting their offer.
2. Most pet sitters don't have any credentials, but they do have a story about why they are doing this (must involve loving animals). Create your own story. Also, there is a pet sitting organization that you could look into to add some credibility: Petsitters International: http://www.petsit.com/ (I think they even have a pet sitting starter kit with release forms, etc)
3. Put together a price sheet, website and other stuff like cards, brochures, flyers etc.
4. Find friends, family, acquaintances with dogs and present them with your marketing materials.
5. Go to pet stores, vets, dog grooming shops, dog adoption booths at parks/farmers markets (they are all over my city - maybe not applicable where you live), dog parks and give everyone your card/brochure/flyer.

If you decide babysitting, I'm sure you can do the same level of informal marketing - friends, family, professors, grad students, etc...

And you're a sophomore. With all due respect, most of the people I knew in college ended up doing something completely different than what they expected and/or majored in. If you genuinely love your major (that's great!) then enjoy taking the classes and thinking about what you will do with it, but still remain flexible. Taking time off between undergrad and master's and working may accomplish what you are looking for, and show you a bit more about the professional options available to you.

Having a BA is the cost of entry for many decently paying jobs, and you'll find many more options once you have your degree. I think there are lots and lots of people who are fine without it, but they typically have a high level of professional focus (either on a trade or starting a business like many tech billionaires) to make it work. For your "having a cat" lifestyle you'll find a BA more useful to make enough money not to be worried about paying your bills.
posted by rainydayfilms at 11:09 AM on July 17, 2011

my degree would be useful at the bachelor's level

"Useful" generally means "having a shot of getting an interview". Don't worry about your bachelor's giving you any expertise whatsoever- it doesn't. It is, however, the price of admission.

Unless you want to do more school to become an electrician or a plumber, your plan probably isn't going to work out very well.

The "modest" lifestyle you described above is what you'll likely have for a few years after college. I'm not sure you have a clear idea of what this economy and job market is actually like.
posted by spaltavian at 5:14 AM on July 18, 2011

Wow, so... it's been two months since this post and I've found a job, an apartment, and now own two cats. I'm still at my four-year school although I'm still thinking of getting a technical degree... just for different reasons this time!
posted by Pericardium at 7:40 AM on September 20, 2011 [4 favorites]