How can I end the therapy hour more easily?
July 14, 2011 2:04 PM   Subscribe

How do you transition out of therapy at the end of the hour?

I'm trying to find ways to ease my transition out of the therapeutic hour and into the rest of my day. (Yes, my therapist and I are working on it together! But it's an open conversation, you know?)

I work with a therapist who uses an eclectic approach that is mostly psychodynamic. I'm doing work right now that involves deep feeling and vulnerability, as well as really experiencing being in my body. It can be very hard to open up in that way and then leave, feeling totally tender and raw. It's sort of like when you go outside on a gray day without sunglasses and the light's just too bright, there's just too much of it. When I leave after getting deep like that I am just so exposed.

We've figured out a way for me to get INTO that place to do the work (deep breathing) but are both having trouble finding a way to back me out of it when it's time to wrap up. How do you do this? What rituals or practices do you use?
posted by anonymous to Grab Bag (15 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Details:where is your therapist's office located? That is, middle of an urban area, rural area, suburbia? Is there a place like a park nearby, or a darkened/quiet coffeeshop, or even a stairwell? A bench in the sunlight where there's ambient/traffic noise that can merge into white noise (this happens in big cities)? In situations that overstimulate you (and in this instance, you're temporarily experiencing the reality of a Highly Sensitive Person), environment cues become foregrounded.

If none of the above are available, there's usually bathroom stalls to fall back on. So, assume it's a park and/or bathroom (best/worst-case scenario). The key is that it should be close-- within 3 (at most 5) minutes of the building. Once you make it to this quiet/white-noise space, practice deep breathing. If it's a bathroom, splash some cool water in your face. Then sit down, make yourself comfortable. It'd help if you brought earplugs (and sunglasses if you're outside), and/or headphones with calming music that slowly transitions into more energetic music. Give it 20 minutes to a half hour.

Ideally, you'd meditate or zone out, focusing on your breathing and on bringing yourself up, up and awake/aware. With guided meditation exercises (such as 'Open-Focus'), usually there is both a descent into super-awareness and a rise towards 'normal' consciousness. You may suggest to your therapist to try incorporating such a 'rise' into your practice. Regardless, you can do it on your own with meditation and deep breathing. As long as you're able to not be disturbed and to sit still for a bit, this shouldn't be difficult. Good luck!
posted by reenka at 2:17 PM on July 14, 2011


This angers me. A therapist should end the session with you in a strong and powerful space, not open and vulnerable. That being said, can you end it with the same breathing? Ask her to spend 5 minutes guiding you out in the same way she guided you in, but in reverse (awareness of your surroundings, reviewing the tools to handle it that you have been learning in therapy, etc.)
posted by Vaike at 3:12 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I would think you would want to make the transition less of a thing--to bring the armored you and the sensitive you more together and less like alters of a multiple personality.
posted by Obscure Reference at 3:14 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


After particularly emotional sessions, my therapist would sometimes ask me, "do you want to imagine putting all this stuff [meaning the topics we'd been discussing] away in some kind of container before we wrap up?" And if my answer was yes, she'd ask me what kind of container I thought was best. The few times I opted for this, I imagined a garbage bag, which seemed most appropriate. I did find it helpful to imagine "putting it away for next time."

If you have to go back to being a productive, responsible adult after your sessions, I recommend soothing instrumental music and deep breathing.
posted by trunk muffins at 4:02 PM on July 14, 2011 [4 favorites]


Go for pho. Take your time.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 4:08 PM on July 14, 2011


My usual M.O. is to have a virtually ironclad routine post-therapy. I had a lunchtime appointment, so my routine involved getting a sandwich here (by the time I was out of my appointment, the lunch rush was over, so it was a lot less intimidating than you'd think) and taking a calm walk in the park.
posted by Sara C. at 4:16 PM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


I have morning appointments and for a while my routine was a bacon egg and cheese bagel -- no walk but somehow the bagel was a signal for "therapy's over, here's your treat, now go think about other things."
posted by sweetkid at 4:30 PM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


IAAT, IANYT - adding to what Vaike said about guiding back out and reviewing your tools, sometimes I will add in some imagery about putting a layer back on so you don't go back into the world so raw (and so you can hold on to what you've learned in the past hour). Sometimes a thick quilt, sometimes a fine thin layer of gauze.
posted by sorrygottago at 5:17 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I walk about 1 1/4 miles one way to my appointment, so I have about 15-20 minutes to walk afterwards, and that's when I do most of my post-session processing. Sometimes, I stop for a cookie or coffee at a local bakery (Since SaraC shared, this is where I go)
posted by Gorgik at 5:27 PM on July 14, 2011


This has always worked for me, "Big Gulps, huh? All right. Welp, see ya later!"
posted by Askr at 5:38 PM on July 14, 2011


How about listening to two to three songs you've chosen? Maybe start with something warm and soothing, then something peppier, then something that builds to more musical complexity or more prosaic themes? You can make a routine out of using the same two or three songs, and you can listen to them while driving or walking.
posted by amtho at 7:03 PM on July 14, 2011


Going that deep in that short period of time reminds me of hypnotherapy. Just guessing from your description, it sounds like you're going from a "now" state to another deeper exploratory state. Digging deep. That's good stuff, but for it to be effective you should be exiting in the same way you enter. When your session is over you should be right back in your "now" state. You should never be left feeling vulnerable or in a different state than you arrived in.

This is very abbreviated, but I suggest counting in and counting back out again. Start the session by counting backwards from 100 while your therapist guides you into that exploration or deeper state... and when that part is over count back out again with the same guidance.
posted by snsranch at 7:40 PM on July 14, 2011


+1 post therapy routine. After therapy I drove to the library and read magazines for 30 minutes to get myself together before rejoining the world.
posted by crazycanuck at 10:12 PM on July 14, 2011


Once, as I was heading out the door to the therapist, my daughter asked where I was going. Without thinking, I said "To be flensed." She and I looked at each other, and I realized that that really is how it feels to me. It's very hard to get in the car and drive willingly to the house of pain.

So FWIW, you're not alone. For myself, I just try to think of all this flensing as breaking me out of this dry old cocoon/cast/imprisony-metaphor so the fresh new me can emerge. I am reading the other answers with interest, however.
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 11:00 PM on July 14, 2011


During the worst part of therapy, I found that having a 'debriefing" session over coffee with my husband (maybe an understanding friend?), where the session may not be specifically discussed, but the worst or most worrying things could be aired helped enormously.

It needn't take too long.

On the worst days, a movie at night (at the cinema with no other distractions) would help to diffuse the feelings (although don't expect to get the most out of the movie).
posted by Flashduck at 12:10 AM on July 17, 2011


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