Looking to vibrate into a new frequency...
July 9, 2011 10:49 AM Subscribe
What's the best vibrator for a first-timer user? Bonus points for something that allows for solo and partner use!
Given my sexual history, it is somewhat astounding that in near-twenty years of having sex, I have never really used a vibrator. No particular reason agin' it or fer it, but good ole manual masturbation has always seemed like enough for me.
But the spouse and I want to experiment with one for my own solo use, but having it occasionally come out to play when he's around. Any recommendations? Product reviews to steer me in the right direction?
(Anything that involves prostate simulation for the male is not on the table, I'm afraid.)
Given my sexual history, it is somewhat astounding that in near-twenty years of having sex, I have never really used a vibrator. No particular reason agin' it or fer it, but good ole manual masturbation has always seemed like enough for me.
But the spouse and I want to experiment with one for my own solo use, but having it occasionally come out to play when he's around. Any recommendations? Product reviews to steer me in the right direction?
(Anything that involves prostate simulation for the male is not on the table, I'm afraid.)
....And I see you're in Canada, for which I have no recommendations for retail outlets. Still, look around on their websites, and if you email them, they may be willing and able to recommend places on your side of the border that can help you out.
posted by rtha at 11:19 AM on July 9, 2011
posted by rtha at 11:19 AM on July 9, 2011
I personally think Eden Fantasys is a great place to go for your first, because of the extensive, detailed text and video reviews. There are also tons of side-navigation options where you can specify size, product material, intensity of vibrations, etc. (Assuming you don't have a sex-positive, friendly shop nearby- I got my first at Babeland in Manhattan and they were great.)
Bullet vibes are a good first option. Perhaps one with a scroll-style control so you can turn the vibrations up or down as needed. They're small, so they can easily be wielded during partner play, and you can get them wired or self-contained.
posted by rachaelfaith at 11:34 AM on July 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Bullet vibes are a good first option. Perhaps one with a scroll-style control so you can turn the vibrations up or down as needed. They're small, so they can easily be wielded during partner play, and you can get them wired or self-contained.
posted by rachaelfaith at 11:34 AM on July 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Seconding Eden Fantasys. I suggest checking out the vibes and extensive reviews on their website. Since you haven't had a vibrator before, it's hard to know what type of vibe will suit you. It might be a good idea to check out the styles that are out there (bullet, rabbit, g-spot, external..) and purchase a cheaper option before you shell out the big bucks for the expensive toys. Bullet vibes are an inexpensive option to try, but if clit-only stimulation doesn't do it for you, or if you find that you need something more powerful, I recommend trying something like this that can be used externally, internally, and with a partner.
Don't forget the lube!
posted by gumtree at 12:19 PM on July 9, 2011
Don't forget the lube!
posted by gumtree at 12:19 PM on July 9, 2011
Venus Envy, a Canadian shop with both online and brick-and-mortar locations, has free shipping for orders over $75. I can personally vouch for them -- they're great and very knowledgeable. I also recommend Fun Factory toys. All of their vibrators are made of silicone, so they're comfy and warm-ish to the touch (as in, they won't feel cold going in/on). They're a bit expensive, but I've had my vibe for years and it's still going strong. Maybe this would be a good start, price wise?
posted by MelanieL at 12:48 PM on July 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by MelanieL at 12:48 PM on July 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Toronto-based Come as you are has a guide to choosing a vibrator that might help you figure out what your needs are.
posted by bethnull at 1:10 PM on July 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by bethnull at 1:10 PM on July 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
From a guy's perspective, I've been, ahem, lusting over the Jimmyjane Form 3. It's shaped so that you can wedge it between you during PIV sex, giving both parties pleasure, and it looks hella fun just to use with hands.
posted by carsonb at 1:57 PM on July 9, 2011
posted by carsonb at 1:57 PM on July 9, 2011
Ditto on the Fun Factory recommendation. I love the miniVIBE click 'n' charge -- completely waterproof if that's a factor, which is awesome. Also, if you have a women-oriented shop locally I cannot recommend going and seeing toys in person enough -- the staffs of those sorts of shops will generally be very friendly and excited to share their knowledge with you.
posted by superlibby at 2:02 PM on July 9, 2011
posted by superlibby at 2:02 PM on July 9, 2011
Men can enjoy vibrators without them entailing "prostate stimulation." Get a Hitachi Magic Wand and introduce him to the joys of placing it against the base of his cock or around his perineum. You might never get it back.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 4:48 PM on July 9, 2011
posted by ethnomethodologist at 4:48 PM on July 9, 2011
Response by poster: Thanks for your responses so far, but I must admit all the options have me more mixed up than I thought I would be. I agree with the idea of buying a cheaper option to try it out, but there's also the possibility of getting a bad experience with said option.
Is this becoming a thing where I should just ask a sex-store professional, detailing exactly what sensations I am looking to get and share with my partner?
posted by Kitteh at 5:10 PM on July 9, 2011
Is this becoming a thing where I should just ask a sex-store professional, detailing exactly what sensations I am looking to get and share with my partner?
posted by Kitteh at 5:10 PM on July 9, 2011
That's probably your best bet. My friend who worked at Blowfish got questions like that and was unfazed.
posted by rtha at 5:38 PM on July 9, 2011
posted by rtha at 5:38 PM on July 9, 2011
If you buy a cheaper one first, and end up not liking it, you'll most likely be able to tell the difference between "Oh, I don't like this kind of stimulation!" and "Oh god why won't it go harder/faster?!" If you find it unpleasant, that's a good sign you don't like vibrators, and getting a better one would have had the same result. If you find it underwhelming, that's a good sign you need a better vibrator. It's not like a run-in with a cheap vibrator is going to put you off vibrators forever.
Don't stress too much about the decision making. Just pick one that looks nice and get started! You can't possibly go too far wrong.
If you get a cheap one and find yourself thinking "I wish this was at least 100x stronger", then you're looking for a Hitachi Magic Wand.
posted by ootandaboot at 6:05 PM on July 9, 2011
Don't stress too much about the decision making. Just pick one that looks nice and get started! You can't possibly go too far wrong.
If you get a cheap one and find yourself thinking "I wish this was at least 100x stronger", then you're looking for a Hitachi Magic Wand.
posted by ootandaboot at 6:05 PM on July 9, 2011
Are you looking for something for internal use, clitoral stimulation, or both? Your choices will differ greatly depending on your priorities.
Also, just as a heads up- you don't want to use a toy for anal play and vaginal/clitoral play unless it's sterilizable (made of silicone), because the bacteria in your butt does not play well with the bacteria in your vagina.
If you have a feminist, sex-positive sex toy store in your area, I'd definitely recommend going in and spending some time with a sex educator there. What area are you in? If there's not one around you, I'm glad to help though- I am a sex educator at one of those lovely stores.
posted by jaksemas at 7:25 PM on July 9, 2011
Also, just as a heads up- you don't want to use a toy for anal play and vaginal/clitoral play unless it's sterilizable (made of silicone), because the bacteria in your butt does not play well with the bacteria in your vagina.
If you have a feminist, sex-positive sex toy store in your area, I'd definitely recommend going in and spending some time with a sex educator there. What area are you in? If there's not one around you, I'm glad to help though- I am a sex educator at one of those lovely stores.
posted by jaksemas at 7:25 PM on July 9, 2011
The Rotating Rabbit have always gotten good reviews and responses from female friends. Ironically, the "rotating beads" part usually dies pretty quickly, but it's apparently not the most interesting part of the vibrator anyway - that accolade goes to the two-eared clit extension. Ladies who aren't in the mood for penetration can simple slide the ears over their clits. Ladies who aren't in the mood for direct clitoral stimulation can use the device in a simpler, more phallic way. And, of course, you can do both at once. Ergo: 3 vibes in one!
posted by IAmBroom at 4:45 AM on July 10, 2011
posted by IAmBroom at 4:45 AM on July 10, 2011
Don't skimp. Buy a good one. The Hitachi magic wand is among the best. Highly recommended. Two speeds, strong, soft.
posted by Clotilde at 5:28 AM on July 10, 2011
posted by Clotilde at 5:28 AM on July 10, 2011
Going to throw in my support for Venus Envy as well. It sounds really odd (especially if you were raised conservatively) to just go up to one of the clerks and explain your situation, but the people who work at Venus Envy (at least in my city) are extremely awesome people.
I'd suggest getting a very basic cheap vibrator to find out what kind of stimulation you most want, then find a vibrator that does that. I started off with the basic Silver Bullet and experimented a lot, which was excellent for my comfort level. That said, I have a (hetero) couple of friends who swear by the awesomeness of the WeVibe for penetrative sex.
The likelihood of having a negative experience with a cheap vibrator is rather low. If anything, it'll quickly become clear what kind of different stimulation you'd like, which will help you make a decision about your next purchase.
Just be sure you check how to clean them and what kind of lubes to use with them before you do so!
posted by buteo at 9:29 PM on July 10, 2011
I'd suggest getting a very basic cheap vibrator to find out what kind of stimulation you most want, then find a vibrator that does that. I started off with the basic Silver Bullet and experimented a lot, which was excellent for my comfort level. That said, I have a (hetero) couple of friends who swear by the awesomeness of the WeVibe for penetrative sex.
The likelihood of having a negative experience with a cheap vibrator is rather low. If anything, it'll quickly become clear what kind of different stimulation you'd like, which will help you make a decision about your next purchase.
Just be sure you check how to clean them and what kind of lubes to use with them before you do so!
posted by buteo at 9:29 PM on July 10, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by rtha at 11:14 AM on July 9, 2011