Life after divorce - with kids.
July 8, 2011 10:00 AM Subscribe
I'm in the throes of a divorce. I have an 8 year old girl. I've met someone else - how best to integrate two people with young kids...more details below...
posted by nicktf to Human Relations (15 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
My ex and I have been in separate houses for over a year and a half, and custody is split 50/50, though we aren't legally divorced yet. Our daughter can see either of us when she wants. She has a weekly therapy session, and she can ask me about anything at any time (and she does, she's just moving passed the "angry" phase at the moment). It's going as well as it can, under the circumstances.
6 months ago, I met someone else, quite by chance. It's the real deal. She has two children under 7 and is also getting a divorce. Hers is somewhat further along than mine, and she's been to the mandatory parenting class, which filled her with horror - enough for her to say that if I needed to go back to my wife for the sake of our daughter, I could. Amongst the wealth of statistics about failed second relationships and damaged children was one that said it takes between 4-7 years to blend new families.
I've met her kids (last weekend, as it happens), she hasn't met my daughter - though she knows that I'm in a relationship. We are taking everything very slowly, and the welfare of our kids is paramount. How do we do it right?
tl;dr Give me your tales of life after divorce, specifically integrating young children into a new relationship.