Sexually to Men, Emotionally to women.
July 7, 2011 12:31 PM Subscribe
Sexually attracted to men, emotionally attracted to women. My sexual orientation? I don't know. Lots of detail. I need support. Help me.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (27 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
I know something was different about me at the start of my freshmen year of high-school. There were always certain guys that have just stuck out that I wanted. I'm deathly scared about coming out. When I muster up the courage to come out, I don't know what I should come out as. Should I say I'm gay or bi? Is sexual attraction the core of a relationship? Read:
One side tells me that I'm gay. I haven't come across a single girl that I've wanted to fuck. I've looked at girls and thought they were smoking hot, but its completely based on how they look. Whatever urge strait guys experience is not here. But that's where emotionally attraction comes into play. I like the dating game. I haven't dated that much. Only a handful or girls, mostly because I'm picky, or maybe because I don't like being the assertive one. To me, hugging is great. Holding hands? w/e. Kissing? No urge/avoid. Beyond that? Never. One way for me to look at it is I like girls as friends. But I want from guys what girls don't have. If I came out as a gay, Its not like a door shuts on being friends with girls. A lot of girls I know like to hang out with gays. That's where I would fit right in, strong friendship but nothing beyond that. Its not like taking girls to dances is weird either, they know your not going to get in their pants.
Another side of me says bi. One thing to point out is how I'm sexually attraction to guys. With some, I want to be with them, me and them. Some other guys, I'm sexually attracted as if I was a chick. I would get aroused thinking about how I want them in my nonexistent vag. Its just how it plays out in my head. To do pitcher/catcher with this set of guys is just weird, I don't see them like that. I don't want a sex change or anything, its just an unsatisfiable urge that I'm just going to have to live with. Also, I think bisexual because I keep thinking about the future. I'm so unsure about a relationship with another guy. I just don't know how it would fly. Saying that I'm bisexual holds on to a thread for a serious relationship a girl. But I have a feeling that that thread is tied to nothing. Also, going from bi to gay is down the same path. Going from gay back up to bi and pulling a big "ohhh just kiddinggg" Would show I'm freakishly confused with myself. But then again, how can go into a relationship with a girl when I don't have a sexual attraction to them? That's just cruel. If I don't want to go anywhere near 1st base, I might as well not even bother to enter such a relationship.
So the first part to this is, gay or bi? Is there even a point to saying I'm bi because there is zero sexual attraction to the opposite sex? My emotional attraction is great for strong friendships. Because that is all I want from chicks. As for guys and my sexual urges, that's what I have now, do you think the urge for a relationship will follow?
Now the hard part. Doing it. I'm...terrified...I'm so scared what can happen. I think what I'm most afraid about is the fact that I can't turn around after doing it. Point of no return stuff. I tell one person. News would spread. I would probably get people asking me all the time. "Omg is this for real?" "dude, are you like... attracted to me?" I feeling I would have a hard time fighting through the questions. I would probably lose some friends in the process. I read a lot of coming out stories and a lot of people say its just the way it is. I know a lot of my friends are ok with it or even embrace the idea due to my gay friend who is very accepted. So I feel I don't have much to worry about. The one big plus that pops out about coming out is people would truly understand me. I've given off a gay vibe for a while. A lot of people have flat out asked me if I way gay/bi. It comes along with the right friends, the right atmosphere. It feels right to me. People will know I'm the way I am because I'm gay/bi. Not because I'm some wierdo so something.
Does anyone have the same orientation as me? What did you end up doing about it? I'm looking for your opinion about what I should do, and support. Someone on here is gay/bi. I wan't to hear your story. I'm leaving this anonymous due to a number of people on mefi know me personally, and this is not a coming out post.
Thank you so much, I know mefi won't let me down. <3 <3