Help, please! I'm Stuck with Toxic Parents for the ENTIRE summer!
June 27, 2011 4:42 AM Subscribe
How I deal with my toxic living situation until the end of August? I'm an adult child of a mother with PTSD and a father who suffers from untreated addiction and depression. Both my parents have very short tempers. I am unable to move out until August when I leave the country for a new job. I arrived home in April from a completed job overseas. I wanted to see my family---hoped they had changed---foolish me. Now I'm stuck for the entire summer.
posted by thatgirl1985 to human relations (27 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My father has had anger issues for as long as I can remember. He blows up over small things and large things. Mom calls him Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You never know when he will shift to his Mr. Hyde persona. He treats work colleagues and friends with respect and even has a different tone of voice with them. It's upbeat sounding. I've only heard him sound upbeat when he is drunk.
He not only lashes out verbally, but he reacts physically, too. He doesn't hit us, but he'll drive recklessly--speeding--swerving--jerking the car all over the road--putting our lives and other motorists in danger if he becomes angry in the car. In public, he acts like an asshat when he doesn't get his way. He acts like a bully. He thinks he is entitled in every situation. It makes it miserable to go anywhere with him.
At home, he yells, curses, calls us names, sulks, and throws things around when stuff doesn't go his way, or someone crosses his magic line. He was an alcoholic when I was child, and has since switched over to food and shopping as his addictions of choice. My mother and I suspect he drinks beer a lot when he is away from home on work assignments.
He had gastric bypass a few years ago and has already gained back 80+ pounds. He refuses to eat properly, or to go to the doctor regularly, or to see a shrink or attend a support group for his food addiction.
My mother has PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from two failed marriages to other idiots. The first marriage was to an alcoholic. The second marriage was to a man with untreated bipolar disorder who was a monster. She has flashbacks about the nightmares he put her through. I still don't know how she managed to remain sane enough to raise my three older half-siblings.
Mom has a lot of health problems---no doubt stress-induced. Type II diabetes, severe arthritis, heart disease, anxiety, and depression. She is miserable, folks. She said she would have left my father a long time ago, but she feels she has no option but to stay. She puts on a happy face for my older siblings. They probably don't realize just how BAD it really is here.
My father is in-between out-of-state work assignments right now and is home until his company finds something for him. He could be laid-off. He is sweating it, but isn't trying very hard to land another job. He's in debt up to his eyeballs, too, from his own stupidity. He's behaving crazier than usual as a result.
Basically, my friends are all abroad, or living in another state. I don't have enough cash to travel outside the immediate area right now. I'm trying to save all of my money for the first few weeks of my new job overseas. My sisters are all very busy with their children and careers. They live about an hour away from here. I don't see them very much. I don't want to burden them. I hate feeling stuck. I try to get out of the house, but my parents live 30 minutes away from everything and gas is expensive. Damn.