Comments on: What hollywood doesn't know about computers...

Question: What hollywood doesn't know about computers...

nomisxid — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:37:50 -0800

What are some of the cheesiest on-screen 'hacking' scenes?

I need to put together a playlist of video clips showing hollywood style 'hacking' at it's worst. Scenes like

It's a Unix System from Jurassic Park

"It'll be the hardest trace they've ever heard" from Sneakers

TV or movies are fine

By: SuperSquirrel

SuperSquirrel — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:39:07 -0800

War Games is full of them.

By: TheBones

TheBones — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:40:45 -0800

Hackers is one long bad 90s computer nerd movie.

By: sanka

sanka — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:40:55 -0800

Swordfish

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:41:01 -0800

Well, you can't really go wrong with Hackers.

By: demiurge

demiurge — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:41:14 -0800

I think Sneakers is actually pretty believable compared to things like Hackers, The Net, and Swordfish.

By: ephemerista

ephemerista — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:42:24 -0800

Maxim (eww) link to 13 Hackiest Hacking Moments. Has Swordfish, The Net, Independence Day, War Games, etc...

By: djb

djb — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:43:44 -0800

"I'll create a GUI interface in Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address"

By: entropicamericana

entropicamericana — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:43:54 -0800

Weird Science is the king, but they weren't really going for plausibility.

By: Zozo

Zozo — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:45:32 -0800

Antitrust is one of my very favourite bad movies, and there are some hilarious "hacking" scenes—in which, IIRC, they seem to be using a real *nix shell, and real shell commands, but to do utterly ridiculous things.

By: Sternmeyer

Sternmeyer — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:46:39 -0800

The scene from Goldeneye:

"SEND SPIKE"
"TO SEND SPIKE PRESS ENTER"
"SPIKE SENT"

stands out in my memory.

By: djb

djb — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:49:49 -0800

TVTropes: Hollywood Hacking

By: saladin

saladin — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:54:25 -0800

This clip from NCIS tends to prove that Hollywood doesn't even understand how keyboards work.

By: makeitso

makeitso — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 07:55:00 -0800

You might want to know that scene in Jurassic Park depicts an actual file manager that was available on IRIX systems.

Pretty much everything else computer-related in that movie was in fact ridiculous, though.

By: samsara

samsara — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:02:33 -0800

"The Net" has to be one of the most difficult movies to watch for me solely due to its misunderstanding on how computers really work. As far as cheesy, some good scenes in there...in particular the one where a virus graphically eats away the display as a show that its doing something that the bad guys don't want it doing...

By: Lazlo Hollyfeld

Lazlo Hollyfeld — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:08:35 -0800

I came here link that NCIS clip. By far the best of the bunch.

By: mrhaydel

mrhaydel — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:09:47 -0800

While this doesn't necessarily contain any clips per se, there's a great Tumblr-like blog called Access Main Computer File that is, according to its About page, "A visual study of computer GUI in cinema."

Just mouse over each image and it'll tell you the film. Again, no video clips (that I know of), but it could at least serve as inspiration!

By: blunt_eastwood

blunt_eastwood — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:12:33 -0800

There's a scene towards the end of Batman and Robin where Robin "hacks" Mr. Freezes ray gun (or something) but needs Batgirls help to do it because the screen is upside down.

By: samsara

samsara — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:14:34 -0800

I came here link that NCIS clip. By far the best of the bunch.

That just reminded me. In on of the earlier seasons of 24 there was a scene where some computery espionage was occurring at command central. Apparently a superhacker had infiltrated their systems and they couldn't figure out how he got their their impenetrable "firewall." Oh what a twist! He bypassed the firewall by using the power lines to the PCs instead. Take that CCIE's!

By: prefpara

prefpara — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:24:27 -0800

Criminal Minds.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:27:52 -0800

Related MetaFilter thread about the Tumblr-type site Access Main Computer File. Note: put your cursor over the images for the movie title and release year to be displayed on the left side of the image. The discussion thread has more examples of fake computers in TV shows and movies.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:28:33 -0800

Or as mrhaydel mentioned in part above.

By: metl_lord

metl_lord — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:28:35 -0800

djb: ""I'll create a GUI interface in Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address" "

Well, a good GUI is important for usability, especially if your users are not familiar with the command prompt. If CSI is a .NET environment, Visual Basic is a good language to create a quick program.

Personally, I would have used FORTRAN.

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:31:48 -0800

It's not meant to be serious, but there's the "the files are in the computer?" scene from Zoolander.

By: litnerd

litnerd — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:32:23 -0800

General Hospital has a character whose sole purpose is to open his laptop and "hack" into security cameras, police records, etc. Just search for Spinelli and you'll get a plethora of cheese.

By: The Gooch

The Gooch — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:47:03 -0800

"The Great Computer Caper" episode of Silver Spoons fits this criteria perfectly. As an added bonus, this episode also includes a crossover appearance from Gary Coleman in his Arnold Jackson character from Diff'rent Strokes.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:52:10 -0800

Weird Science has a good goofy hacking scene complete with 1985 graphics.

By: WhitenoisE

WhitenoisE — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 09:17:43 -0800

I think the award for most cringe worthy scene goes to NBC's Life: Playing Prince of Persia to decrypt files

By: Su

Su — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 09:30:40 -0800

This is almost an entire genre on YouTube:

Numb3rs' Description of IRC, plus bonus taking of screenshot, because apparently their hacker doesn't know about logs.

NCIS Double Hacking, where the chick is typing uh, magical counter hacking code that works despite the fact hundreds of windows are flashing about constantly stealing focus.

Just poke around the related videos from there.

By: Shepherd

Shepherd — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 10:18:55 -0800

Predating most of this awesomeness, some classic hacking from one of the greatest TV shows of all time...

Max Headroom:

Theora Jones, hacks a urinal @11:20 or so
Theora and Bryce have a hacker war, controlling elevators, doors, and even a barricade with you-know-what written on it, starting at 19:30 ish.

Pretty much every Bryce scene in the whole series features some awesomely flagrant "hacking-as-magic" stuff.

By: Shepherd

Shepherd — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 10:22:18 -0800

Oh yes, and also while not technically "hacking", the PREMISE of Max Headroom is that a computer-genius kid takes a man's damaged brain and converts it into a piece of software that commandeers television channels and has a lucrative sideline flogging diet soda. There is also that.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 10:39:39 -0800

This clip from NCIS tends to prove that Hollywood doesn't even understand how keyboards work.

Another NCIS episode (I sometimes watch because I worked with one of the cast once before they got "big") is entirely about hacking, involving someone hiding encrypted data in an online game (I think the deal was that you had to play until you got score higher than this specific number, and then you could access the screen with the encrypted data).

The whole episode is kind of ridiculous, but at the end there's a scene where they're racing against a countdown towards the automated "upload" of a new game which will release this encrypted code to thousands of gamers and damage national security or whatthefuckever; you've got the computer-expert agent back in the office trying to talk his boss through the on-site security system (the expert in the office has "hacked in" to the computer, you see, and can see where all the traps are). He's also supposed to walk his boss through "cancelling the program", but his boss deals with the situation by simply shooting the hell out of the computer.

By: jeffkramer

jeffkramer — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 11:08:04 -0800

This scene from Eagle vs. Shark is a slightly NSFW take on the trope.

By: CodeMonkey

CodeMonkey — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 11:14:18 -0800

I remember a scene in '24' where Jack Bower broke into a old POS car, found a smartphone or something and hacked into and redirected a missle in flight.

By: gemmy

gemmy — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 12:00:22 -0800

Law and Order: SVU had an episode called "Avatar" with a knockoff Second Life playing a huge role. Most of that whole episode consists of cringe worthy hacking scenes.

By: OnTheLastCastle

OnTheLastCastle — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 12:51:06 -0800

Not hacking, but definitely needs to be posted while we're on the subject:

ENHANCE!

By: wierdo

wierdo — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 13:16:27 -0800

gemmy: "Law and Order: SVU had an episode called "Avatar" with a knockoff Second Life playing a huge role. Most of that whole episode consists of cringe worthy hacking scenes"

CSI: NY had an episode all about the "real" Second Life. (enhanced for TV, of course)

By: i_cola

i_cola — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 13:50:55 -0800

At the start of True Lies, Arnie starts up a Windows 3 PC which makes a Mac chime sound.

By: Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam

Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 14:04:05 -0800

Johnny Mnemonic

By: Heretical

Heretical — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 14:08:49 -0800

Naturally I can't find a video on youtube (sorry!) but there's the super mega rolling on the floor laughing cheesy visual hacking scene in the Tekwar intro movie, where a hacker basically sits in a chair with a couple wires pointing toward her eyes and hacks into things by waving her hand around like a total goober.

... Man, when I was fifteen I thought that looked so cool.

It's available streaming on Netflix, which is how I found it again.

By: jefftang

jefftang — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 14:26:03 -0800

Not directly on point, but related. There's a web page, Hacker Typer, that allows you to look like you're programming/"hacking" like they do in the media.

By: theora55

theora55 — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 16:47:40 -0800

I love Hacking the Gibson, Penn Gillette, Angelina Jolie and some other familiar faces, and some great, silly animations.

By: filmgeek

filmgeek — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 16:53:02 -0800

Really. You don't think that spinny chair in swordfish is the worst? How about the scene in MasterMinds (with patrick stuart - although he's not in this scene) to steal a game prior to it's release. Over a phone modem. With a castle and guards and everything.

By: ClaudiaCenter

ClaudiaCenter — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 21:05:30 -0800

Old school Whoopie Goldberg et al. in Jumpin' Jack Flash :D

By: Admira

Admira — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 22:54:17 -0800

I think swordfish takes the cake. Spinning cubes aligning to compile code?!?

Actually, when do they get it right? I imagine real hacking is not very glamourous or exciting to watch.

By: TangoCharlie

TangoCharlie — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 23:38:37 -0800

May only be tangentially related, but there's a scene in (I think) Die Hard 4 where some computer display shows traffic flow in a way that would, I believe, be impossible.

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:26:01 -0800

Nthing hacker typer above. You can feel like a l88t hackerz dood.

By: chairface

chairface — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 15:40:24 -0800

This is a coy answer but: all of them. It's harder to think of instances of Hollywood not being stupid where computers are involved.

Frankly, I don't blame them. Watching someone type is pretty damn boring.

By: martinrebas

martinrebas — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 13:30:15 -0800

Not technically hacking, but there's the byte-triggered bomb from Blown Away, where a crying woman has to keep typing OR THE COMPUTER WILL BLOW UP! And the RAM is filling up with characters, so soon there are only 24 bytes left! Will Jeff Bridges defuse the bomb in time?