Do touching thighs make me overweight?

June 22, 2011 2:59 PM

I've gained a bit of weight and now my thighs rub together when I walk. Does this mean I'm now Too Fat?

I've put on about 15 lbs. in the past two years and I've started to actually feel a bit better about my body. I'm built pretty pear-shaped and I'm happy that I can finally wear a swimsuit without my ribs poking out and fill a B-cup bra.

But, this summer I noticed that when I wear a skirt without tights, my thighs rub together a bit at the top when I walk. It doesn't chafe badly or anything but I can't help but think that this means I've crossed a certain line of fatness where it's now getting in the way and that it means I'm overweight for my bodytype.

I'm 21 years old, 5'6.5 and 135 lbs. I eat pretty well (though kinda a lot - I have a big appetite and can't skip meals because I get dizzy). I'm not in an exercise program, but I'm a good swimmer when I get around to going to the pool, and I walk at least an hour a day, so I figure I can't be hopelessly unfit.

Am I being silly or should I woman up and lose some weight?

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (47 answers total)

You are being silly, completely silly. You sound perfectly healthy and hot. Exercise is awesome fun and keeps you healthy, but don't try to lose weight, its loads of fun to be strong.
posted by stormygrey at 3:02 PM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

Girl, that's what thighs DO.
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 3:02 PM on June 22, 2011 [48 favorites]

Yes, you are being silly. If your body makes you happy and you feel healthy, no, you do not need to lose any weight. Thighs rubbing together means nothing other than that your thighs rub together.
posted by peachfuzz at 3:03 PM on June 22, 2011

I am the same way and I'm 5'8" and 130. I tend to get a little negatively obsessive about my weight, so I try to think of it as "under toned". You don't need to lose any weight.
posted by TooFewShoes at 3:03 PM on June 22, 2011

Two words: baby powder. Get one that fits in your purse, apply as needed. If you're happy with how you look, that'll fix the chafing problem.
posted by Ys at 3:05 PM on June 22, 2011

Nope, you are normal. There are some people who are built such that this is true [i.e. some people know "Oh I've put on a few too many pounds if my thighs are rubbing"] so you may have heard people saying it, but it's very individual. I have muscly legs, my thighs always rub a little no matter how much or little I weigh. Congrats on being happy with your body.
posted by jessamyn at 3:06 PM on June 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

Although it's an imperfect measurement tool, your BMI of 21.5 is well between the normal range of between 18.5 - 24.9.

You're being silly.
posted by Homo economicus at 3:06 PM on June 22, 2011

If you're generally happy with how you look and your level of fitness (and it sounds like you are) then you're fine. From your description, you're not even overweight by any reasonable measure, so as long as you feel good and healthy, you're golden.

If the chafing bothers you, look into BodyGlide or something similar. There's no universal measure for what pushes you over the line to Too Fat beyond your own assessment, and anyone who says otherwise is a douche.
posted by Kpele at 3:07 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

You have a "normal" body mass index. Sounds like you like how you look, so don't worry about the thigh thing.
posted by grouse at 3:07 PM on June 22, 2011

IMHO, 5'6.5 and 135 lbs. is perfectly fine. If this is really bugging you, I'd suggest hitting the gym rather than "losing some weight". A bit of weight training might help with the thigh-rubbing (and, more importantly, with how you feel about yourself -- yay, endorphins!), without making everything all about the scale.
posted by vorfeed at 3:07 PM on June 22, 2011

You need to re-evaluate your perception of the word "fat." Are you familiar with the Body Mass Index? It's not the end all, be-all of healthy weight assessment, but for the average woman (who's not a body builder or pregnant) it's a good barometer of what a healthy weight is. Here's one from the National Institute of Health.

Honestly, though, if you think you're fat at the weight and height you're at are now, it's probably time to address some self-esteem and confidence issues.
posted by pecanpies at 3:09 PM on June 22, 2011

The worst thing that happened to me when I gained the 15 lbs that made my thighs start rubbing together is that after a few years, the seam of my jeans along the inner thigh start to wear out.

not worth freaking out about.
posted by geegollygosh at 3:11 PM on June 22, 2011

Gah! No, a lot of women's thighs rub together, particularly if they are closed hipped. I'm about 105 soaking wet and even when I was in competitive racing shape as a runner, I had horrible problems with my inner thighs chafing. Enough so that it completely alarmed my gynecologist because she assumed the bruising and redness was due to physical abuse.

(tmi-now tempted to retire this name and start posting under a new one)
posted by stagewhisper at 3:11 PM on June 22, 2011 [9 favorites]

That thing about how thighs should have a big space between them that you can see through is as arbitrary and weird as the notions that your husband's hands should be able to fit around your waist or your boob should fit in a champagne glass.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 3:13 PM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

Bodyglide, biking shorts, or pants, as appropriate. Or move somewhere less humid, helps with the chafing. Yeah, it's what thighs do. Mine, anyhow. (They did it when I was a size 0 many many years ago, too, so I don't think it's weight.. it's just how I'm shaped.)
posted by nat at 3:13 PM on June 22, 2011

My thighs did that when I was underweight. You're absolutely fine.
posted by lovelygirl at 3:18 PM on June 22, 2011

I'll ask the question: Too Fat For What?

Wearing those jeans that fit you perfectly in junior high? Yes, probably.

To be a horse jockey? Yes, that is most likely out. (Seriously, those dudes are small and weigh nothing)

Attracting someone? No.

Attracting 95% of the people who you have dated in the past? Still no.

For you to be healthy? No. Absolutely not.

Figure out your for whats and go from there.
posted by adipocere at 3:21 PM on June 22, 2011 [7 favorites]

It's normal to *notice* changes like this, but it does not mean you're fat. BodyGlide really helps a lot with the chafing. You'll be okay!
posted by bonheur at 3:21 PM on June 22, 2011

Look in the mirror. Say, "I'm beautiful."

Repeat daily.
posted by HeyAllie at 3:24 PM on June 22, 2011

As a data point, at one point in my early teen years I went from normal weight to significantly underweight. IIRC, my thighs didn't stop touching until I was well under 100 lbs (I'm 5'5"). So I would say, no, thighs touching isn't some bright line marker of being overweight.
posted by Ashley801 at 3:26 PM on June 22, 2011

You sound very healthy. And yes, Bodyglide if you chafe. It works for me.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 3:26 PM on June 22, 2011

I read an online comment from a guy once who said a woman is too skinny if her thighs don't touch. I'm pretty skinny, but my hips are wide and my thighs are literally 3-4" apart at their narrowest -- I would have to gain a ridiculous amount of weight for my thighs to touch. Which is to say, women are built differently, and as many people point out, you're well within the realm of "normal" body weight. Please don't let something this small affect your image of yourself.
posted by brainmouse at 3:28 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

I read an online comment from a guy once who said

... he was rejecting his girlfriend, couldn't consider her for marriage because her thighs touched while she was sitting down. To be sure, this is the kind of man I'd call a douchebag.
posted by Rash at 3:34 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

My thighs rub/brush against each other when I walk, I am 5'1" and 115 lbs and don't consider myself even the tiniest bit fat. I think you're fine.
posted by queens86 at 3:39 PM on June 22, 2011

I was talking to my friend the ultramarathoner about this (asking for advice on anti-chafing stuff for running), and he was saying that his thighs rub together if he only puts on a couple of pounds. It's just the way he's built. Trust me, he's not too fat.
posted by gaspode at 3:48 PM on June 22, 2011

My thighs rubbed together when I weighed 118 pounds at age 16. This is normal for women who are pear-shaped.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:05 PM on June 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

that is just how you are built. even at my skinniest my thighs still have a very intimate relationship with each other. not currently being at my skinniest summer skirts mean sweaty inner thighs :P
posted by supermedusa at 5:04 PM on June 22, 2011

Mine rub together and it drives me crazy! If it bothers you a lot, there's a cream designed to keep it from chaffing (I actually invented this a few years ago, but it was just an idea...jerks beat me to it!). I can't remember who makes it, but you can find it at walgreens or the like.

It really works and you are not fat!
posted by Sweetmag at 5:14 PM on June 22, 2011

I remember when my thighs didn't touch, I also remember being severely underweight at the time. I remember everyone telling me to eat something ( I DID eat). I'm pretty narrow hipped though. For the record I'll say that 5'6" and 135 sounds just right to me.
posted by magnetsphere at 5:18 PM on June 22, 2011

I'm not sure my thighs have ever not touched (I'm ethnically German, so I have a pretty big frame, and I was always really athletic growing up). Last couple of years I've moved into the "clinically overweight" category, but the thighs don't touch any more just because of that.

Protip: put deodorant on the inside of each thigh in the morning. Wear skirt. Enjoy life without chaffage.
posted by olinerd at 6:02 PM on June 22, 2011

I'm a woman who likes and sleeps with women and I've seen a fair number of us of various shapes and sizes naked and almost naked. I have seen women who were probably a US size 14 or 16 who had thighs with a gap, and very, very thin women whos thighs brush together. It's down to some strange alchemy of hip size, leg length, and where the meat on your thighs is distributed.

I understand that in photos models and celebrities often push their butts back so that from the front it looks like there's (more of) a gap there.
posted by crabintheocean at 6:06 PM on June 22, 2011

I should add that the women who had any sort of visible gap were in the minority, and those whos thighs didn't touch at all were a tiny, tiny minority.
posted by crabintheocean at 6:08 PM on June 22, 2011

Sweet Jesus, my thighs have rubbed together since I was an infant. There are pictures of me when I was 7 with what? upper thighs rubbing together. Running in high school track required deft choice of shorts to ensure coverage of thighs so as to not cause major friction problems. I'm 35 now and my thighs still touch. I'm 5'5", 126 lbs. It's genetic honey.
posted by Leezie at 6:09 PM on June 22, 2011

Nth-ing above and jumping in to recommend zinc cream (the kind in the tube not a jar). Find it with the diapers in yer local pharmacy.
posted by girlpublisher at 6:23 PM on June 22, 2011

I think the point has been made that the rubbing together is not because of your weight or fitness. Marathon runners have this problem.

So instead I will give you some 'what next' advice:
Don't put deodorant on your thighs; that could end badly.
Instead, find "Chafing Relief Powder-Gel" at your local drugstore. Here in the USA (I don't know where you live, obviously), Monistat makes this amazing stuff that you can put on your thighs so they can effortlessly glide. You find it in with all the other Monistat stuff, oddly - I guess to keep it a secret?
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 7:05 PM on June 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

That's pretty normal man, and not normal as in "most Americans are now overweight and everyone's thighs touching is a symptom of that" normal but "this is what thighs do at a healthy body fat percentage" normal.
posted by schroedinger at 7:47 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

seconding the Monistat. Also, get some thin bike shorts or the like to wear under skirts.

I've had the same problem as you, even when I was a scrawny 5'7" 120-pound competitive swimmer. It's genetics.

Objectively, you are not fat. Nowhere near it.
posted by thinkingwoman at 7:56 PM on June 22, 2011

Does this mean I'm now Too Fat?

Too fat for what? Yes, you may be too fat for a career as a model in contemporary high fashion. For anything else, no.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:59 PM on June 22, 2011

Side note: The My Body Gallery is a nifty tool for gauging how you look. You plug in your weight, height, even your body shape and clothing size, and it will pull up a picture of someone with the same proportions.
posted by thinkingwoman at 7:59 PM on June 22, 2011 [4 favorites]

I've started to actually feel a bit better about my body.

Focus on this. And when you're swimming or walking or doing anything, notice the stretch and pull in each part of your body, how all the parts work together so well. This is especially rewarding when you're really pushing those parts and exploring exactly what they can do. Which you know, so I'm just reminding you.

It's genetic honey.

I'm the beekeeper for my community garden and I'm currently obsessed with why two of our hives are not thriving and what, if anything, I should do about it. Is it a new slow-moving form of Colony Collapse Disorder? Or is it just a matter of queens who aren't up to the task? Should we requeen or just introduce new workers?

All that, plus the missing comma, made me read that sentence as a reference to some new GMO patented miracle honey from Monsanto or ADM. Which totally horrified me, except for the teeny, tiny bit that really wants AN ANSWER.
posted by dogrose at 8:05 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

When I was a teenager, and terribly underweight by all conventional measures, I decided that I would love my body as soon as I gained enough weight so that my thighs would touch. No idea where I got this notion.

I'm 30 glorious pounds heavier (at 117 and 5'7) and my damn thighs still don't touch. And I secretly feel betrayed by them. How crazy and irrational is that?! They're my thighs, not anything else.

But I mostly love my body. I love it because it does awesome things, and makes a fun container for my soul, rather than for how it looks. Get biking shorts, body glide and baby powder, and keep loving your body.

if you're "too fat" then somebody gets to call me "too skinny" and I don't tolerate that. I'm fine. You're fine. As long as we're active, eating well, and feeling good, then we're fine.
posted by bilabial at 8:30 PM on June 22, 2011

When he was about thirteen, my beautiful boyfriend had a wonderfully attractive older black lady tell him, "A woman's thighs are supposed to rub together, honey. It keeps the juices in." Bless that woman.

Now every time your thighs rub together, just remember: keepin' the juices in.
posted by WidgetAlley at 9:36 PM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is normal. Thighs not rubbing is not the norm (but not a bad thing just not the norm).
posted by whoaali at 10:38 PM on June 22, 2011

Size 0 pants are mostly too big for me and my thighs have never not touched.
posted by troublesome at 11:01 PM on June 22, 2011

I'm a man of reasonable leanness (currently somewhere south of 14% bf), and MY thighs rub together at the top. In fact that's how I wear jeans out -- the inner thigh wears out to nothing after about two years. Quite possibly, if you've been exercising, what you've got is muscle, and it'd be a real shame to lose that.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:35 AM on June 23, 2011

I'm a big fat porky pig (mostly stomach) and my thighs don't rub together. Feel good about feeling good about yourself!
posted by h00py at 1:26 AM on June 23, 2011

Yeah, my thighs have always rubbed together and probably always will rub together. It's just the way my legs are shaped. Don't worry about it. If chafing is a problem, I prefer to use one of those runners' lube stick things rather than baby powder, but I only bother if I'm wearing a skirt and walking a lot on a hot day.
posted by mskyle at 6:31 AM on June 23, 2011