Feeling emotionally flat; how do I fix this?
June 18, 2011 7:40 PM Subscribe
Recently my psychiatrist and I halved my Zoloft dosage in an attempt to help me feel less emotionally flat. That doesn't seem to have worked, and in fact now I'm just a bit depressed. So I'm thinking the flatness is personality- or lifestyle-derived. Any thoughts on how to fix it?
Although my life is going pretty swimmingly, upon reflection I find myself to be slightly emotionally "flat." Meaning, I don't get angry, or excited, or joyous. Instead I would use adjectives like annoyed, happy, or content.
In my relationships over the last few years, I've been happy and had fun and perhaps even have expressed myself passionately, but have not felt really enthusiastic about the women I was dating---more like I enjoyed her in many ways, but could go on without her just fine.
I'm mostly able to put on an enthusiastic face when interacting with others; I don't think this lack of strong emotion shows up, except perhaps subtly. In fact, I'm seen as somewhat of a living-it-large social butterfly.
This doesn't always seem to have been the case, but then again, my memories of strong emotion date to my teenage years, and there we have many confounding factors including the oft-cited "hormones" in addition to starting on Zoloft. I can't really pinpoint when it started, but maybe upon entering college?
As I said, life is pretty great, so this "flatness" isn't a huge problem, but in the interest of optimizing myself, I talked this over with my psychiatrist. We though it might be medication-related, and halved my Zoloft dose. Well, a month later, all this seems to have done is brought a general sense of depression to the fore: nothing drastic, but I'm getting annoyed at people more easily; am feeling rather anti-social; and am often avoiding some things I used to enjoy. So I think I'll back out on that.
I'd really like to be able to be jumping for joy when something fun happens, instead of just having a little internal smile. Or be looking forward to a date with a pretty girl, instead of calmly preparing myself and detachedly hoping we have fun. Or even launch into an impassioned discussion instead of calmly bringing up points and considering what's being said. Does this make any sense?
Which brings me to my question: any ideas on how to solve this "flatness"? Has anyone else experienced what I'm talking about? Is it just personality, or are there physical factors that might be affecting it? Would CBT or talk therapy help? Maybe sleeping more, or more regularly? (I generally don't get enough sleep during the week.) Aerobic exercise? (I usually rock climb twice per week, although recently I've been doing 30 minutes elliptical to stave off the mild depression.) Are there things I could do, or practice doing, that would help these emotions come to the fore? Heck, should I maybe be trying some recreational drugs?
Although my life is going pretty swimmingly, upon reflection I find myself to be slightly emotionally "flat." Meaning, I don't get angry, or excited, or joyous. Instead I would use adjectives like annoyed, happy, or content.
In my relationships over the last few years, I've been happy and had fun and perhaps even have expressed myself passionately, but have not felt really enthusiastic about the women I was dating---more like I enjoyed her in many ways, but could go on without her just fine.
I'm mostly able to put on an enthusiastic face when interacting with others; I don't think this lack of strong emotion shows up, except perhaps subtly. In fact, I'm seen as somewhat of a living-it-large social butterfly.
This doesn't always seem to have been the case, but then again, my memories of strong emotion date to my teenage years, and there we have many confounding factors including the oft-cited "hormones" in addition to starting on Zoloft. I can't really pinpoint when it started, but maybe upon entering college?
As I said, life is pretty great, so this "flatness" isn't a huge problem, but in the interest of optimizing myself, I talked this over with my psychiatrist. We though it might be medication-related, and halved my Zoloft dose. Well, a month later, all this seems to have done is brought a general sense of depression to the fore: nothing drastic, but I'm getting annoyed at people more easily; am feeling rather anti-social; and am often avoiding some things I used to enjoy. So I think I'll back out on that.
I'd really like to be able to be jumping for joy when something fun happens, instead of just having a little internal smile. Or be looking forward to a date with a pretty girl, instead of calmly preparing myself and detachedly hoping we have fun. Or even launch into an impassioned discussion instead of calmly bringing up points and considering what's being said. Does this make any sense?
Which brings me to my question: any ideas on how to solve this "flatness"? Has anyone else experienced what I'm talking about? Is it just personality, or are there physical factors that might be affecting it? Would CBT or talk therapy help? Maybe sleeping more, or more regularly? (I generally don't get enough sleep during the week.) Aerobic exercise? (I usually rock climb twice per week, although recently I've been doing 30 minutes elliptical to stave off the mild depression.) Are there things I could do, or practice doing, that would help these emotions come to the fore? Heck, should I maybe be trying some recreational drugs?
Have you also looked at your birth control? Because this is exactly the description I give for why I won´t use the pill. I´m still me, but it´s like the emotional range I experience gets...compressed?...when I´m on these meds. I don´t miss the lows, but I DO miss the highs. It may well be the zoloft, not the birth control, but I can tell you for sure that for me, it´s the bc that flatlines me emotionally.
posted by Ys at 7:55 PM on June 18, 2011
posted by Ys at 7:55 PM on June 18, 2011
Response by poster: Ys: I'm pretty sure condoms don't have that kind of effect ;).
posted by Jacen Solo at 7:58 PM on June 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Jacen Solo at 7:58 PM on June 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: For what it's worth, I was on Zoloft for five years and the only thing it did for me was a sort of emotional leveling, and what you describe sounds similar. It took the edge off of everything, both good and bad, so experiencing extremes--while not impossible--was a lot more difficult. I got my emotional range (high and low alike) back by... going off of the Zoloft, which doesn't help you much, since it sounds like you're satisfied with it otherwise. I assume your psychiatrist is as well?
I think increasing your exercise and maybe engaging in some talk therapy are both worth trying (they are 'good for you' in a general sense anyway), but I wonder if the medication isn't the primary culprit here. I'm not a psychiatrist, though!
posted by Kosh at 8:00 PM on June 18, 2011
I think increasing your exercise and maybe engaging in some talk therapy are both worth trying (they are 'good for you' in a general sense anyway), but I wonder if the medication isn't the primary culprit here. I'm not a psychiatrist, though!
posted by Kosh at 8:00 PM on June 18, 2011
Response by poster: Just want to say thanks for the medication-related answers too, even though it wasn't what my original question was driving at. I am definitely willing to consider going off of it, but seeing the detrimental effect halving the dose has had so far, without any letup in the flattening, I wasn't anticipating that as a good solution.
posted by Jacen Solo at 8:03 PM on June 18, 2011
posted by Jacen Solo at 8:03 PM on June 18, 2011
Have you tried any other antidepressants other than Zoloft? Zoloft gave me the same flat affect, and changing the dose never helped - only changing medications did.
posted by Neely O'Hara at 8:03 PM on June 18, 2011
posted by Neely O'Hara at 8:03 PM on June 18, 2011
Best answer: A possibility is that some of the flatness is rooted in the depression? That you had trained yourself not to feel emotions because they would lead to an inevitable spiral?
Or, that being in control of your emotions feels flat when you are used to uncontrolled emotions?
posted by gjc at 8:21 PM on June 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Or, that being in control of your emotions feels flat when you are used to uncontrolled emotions?
posted by gjc at 8:21 PM on June 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yeah, do you exercise? It's great for removing the fuzz layer and creating overall lift. I have no experience with Zoloft, but I do find that my depression responds drastically to exercise, and the everything else in my life feels better when I'm active with an exercise program.
posted by Miko at 9:03 PM on June 18, 2011
posted by Miko at 9:03 PM on June 18, 2011
I also take Zoloft (though the generic, sertraline), and have seen some of the effects you mention. IANAD, but most reading I have done suggests that talk therapy is often just as effective as medication for treating depression, and talk therapy combined with meds tends to work better than just one or the other. It's just not an option for most people because health insurers don't want to pay for it. But if your plan covers it, or you can just afford it, by all means give it a go.
Another thought I had is combining your original dose of Zoloft with another med. There are many options, and it seems to work for some people, depending on the problem.
Good luck!
posted by Shoggoth at 9:06 PM on June 18, 2011
Another thought I had is combining your original dose of Zoloft with another med. There are many options, and it seems to work for some people, depending on the problem.
Good luck!
posted by Shoggoth at 9:06 PM on June 18, 2011
I'm in my late 20s and I've found that I am emotionally "flat" compared to others, or at least compared to what other people describe when they're talking to me (and compared to what advertising leads me to believe). It's just a trait that both my parents have - they never become overjoyed or overly sad; good news and bad news is taken in stride. I seem to be the same way - my emotions are certainly there, but they don't stray too far from my average. For a while I wondered what was wrong with my life. When my girlfriend found out I was accepted to a Masters program, she expected me to be jumping for joy, and instead I was pretty "meh." Instead I said "I'll get excited when I graduate."
Eventually I realized that this is just how I am - a little "meh" in situations where others would be distinctly happy or sad. I had plenty of strong, angsty emotions in my teens and early 20s, but as I've become comfortable with myself I find those drifting away. I used to react very strongly to certain intense songs, but now I don't have those same emotions. It seems that I am just a less emotional, less-demostrative person, and now that I've accepted that aspect of myself I am so much happier because I stopped wondering "what's wrong with me / my life?" I have never taken Zoloft, so I can't speak to that drug's effects, but I have taken other SSRIs, and for me (every individual's reactions are different) my emotional life on drugs and off drugs was pretty similar - less extreme than others'. So for me, it's not the drugs, it's just how I'm wired.
What I'm getting at is: you may just be a "flatter" person than others, and that's really okay. As with anything, there are advantages (cool head) and disadvantages (less intensity). You might want to ask yourself whether the "flatness" has always been there, or if it only appeared with the Zoloft. While I certainly encourage you to consider the drug's effects on you with your psychiatrist's help, it might just be that this is normal for you, and that's okay.
posted by Tehhund at 9:14 PM on June 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Eventually I realized that this is just how I am - a little "meh" in situations where others would be distinctly happy or sad. I had plenty of strong, angsty emotions in my teens and early 20s, but as I've become comfortable with myself I find those drifting away. I used to react very strongly to certain intense songs, but now I don't have those same emotions. It seems that I am just a less emotional, less-demostrative person, and now that I've accepted that aspect of myself I am so much happier because I stopped wondering "what's wrong with me / my life?" I have never taken Zoloft, so I can't speak to that drug's effects, but I have taken other SSRIs, and for me (every individual's reactions are different) my emotional life on drugs and off drugs was pretty similar - less extreme than others'. So for me, it's not the drugs, it's just how I'm wired.
What I'm getting at is: you may just be a "flatter" person than others, and that's really okay. As with anything, there are advantages (cool head) and disadvantages (less intensity). You might want to ask yourself whether the "flatness" has always been there, or if it only appeared with the Zoloft. While I certainly encourage you to consider the drug's effects on you with your psychiatrist's help, it might just be that this is normal for you, and that's okay.
posted by Tehhund at 9:14 PM on June 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Tehhund probably already said it better but I also think it might just be a personality thing. In fact, when I've taken mediation classes (um..) in the past, I've felt like that's the ideal in a way..just to not get knocked over by the waves, either by excitment of the happy kind, or emotional angst of the negative kind. Why not just enjoy your great life....in a low key kind of way?
posted by bquarters at 9:36 PM on June 18, 2011
posted by bquarters at 9:36 PM on June 18, 2011
Best answer: Yes. Zoloft made me numb. Wellbutrin made me 'awake' again. (Which I hadn't been in years, and was able to go off it completely after about a year.) Keep trying until you find something that's right for you. It's not Zoloft or nothing.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 9:52 PM on June 18, 2011
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 9:52 PM on June 18, 2011
Best answer: Google "SSRI apathy" and read a bit about that. Yes, it could just be your personality. But if this flat feeling feels like a new thing, you should trust your gut on that. I could have posted this myself a few weeks ago. I've been taking an SSRI (tried Zoloft but my doctor switched me to something else because of low libido and apathy) for five years. About three weeks ago I stopped the SSRI and went on an MAOI instead, and the apathy feeling is - maybe not gone altogether - but much, much reduced. And my libido has come back. It's wonderful. So, it wasn't just me, or just my personality.
Having lived with the flatness for years, I can tell you that *for me*, exercise, diet, sleep - none of these changed it. Actually one thing did - pregnancy. But it came back. Like you, for me it wasn't a huge issue, but it was always there. I'm glad it's gone.
This is difficult to figure out and it's really hard to decide what to do about it. It's great that you have a psychiatrist rather than just a GP and that he/she sees the flatness as a problem and is working with you on fixing it. The other tricky thing is that this flatness could be a symptom of your depression and not a drug side effect at all. Or, perception can be skewed because anything that's not crazy anxiety, for example, could seem in comparison to be apathy. I would ask your doctor about MAOIs, just to see what he/she has to say. I wrote a bit more about the MAOI here. Good luck!
posted by kitcat at 10:43 PM on June 18, 2011
Having lived with the flatness for years, I can tell you that *for me*, exercise, diet, sleep - none of these changed it. Actually one thing did - pregnancy. But it came back. Like you, for me it wasn't a huge issue, but it was always there. I'm glad it's gone.
This is difficult to figure out and it's really hard to decide what to do about it. It's great that you have a psychiatrist rather than just a GP and that he/she sees the flatness as a problem and is working with you on fixing it. The other tricky thing is that this flatness could be a symptom of your depression and not a drug side effect at all. Or, perception can be skewed because anything that's not crazy anxiety, for example, could seem in comparison to be apathy. I would ask your doctor about MAOIs, just to see what he/she has to say. I wrote a bit more about the MAOI here. Good luck!
posted by kitcat at 10:43 PM on June 18, 2011
I nth talking to your doc about perhaps changing meds. There are so many out there. I'm getting good results with the old TCAs. There are the MAOIs kitcat mentions (though they come with dietary restrictions). There are SNRIs and probably some I'm forgetting (too many years since I took psychopharm).
posted by kathrynm at 2:28 AM on June 19, 2011
posted by kathrynm at 2:28 AM on June 19, 2011
As someone who is emotionally quite volatile, I find it somewhat exhausting. Fun, when things are happy, but devastating when things are not smooth. Zoloft helped me smooth it out a bit, then stopped having much effect. There are lots of anti-depressants; a psychiatrist who specializes in meds can be a big help.
posted by theora55 at 8:50 AM on June 19, 2011
posted by theora55 at 8:50 AM on June 19, 2011
Just a note - the RIMA group of MAOI don't have any dietary restrictions.
posted by kitcat at 9:53 AM on June 19, 2011
posted by kitcat at 9:53 AM on June 19, 2011
I don't think "flatness" is a problem that needs fixing; I think it's actually a feature, not a bug. As others have said, emotional volatility is exhausting and levelheaded calm is useful. Not only for you but for people around you - steady reliable people who take things in stride are the kind of friends you want to have around when the shit hits the fan. You can be that guy, a real-life superhero.
I think the problem is that society has ramped up the language of emotional intensity over the last 20 or 30 years. Talk-show hosts used to be "pleased" to introduce their guests; now they're "excited". People on Facebook aren't just "happy" about something, they're "super-happy" - being merely happy seems like suspiciously faint praise. (Actually, I think this is more of a linguistic phenomenon than an actual emotional sea-change; akin to the euphemism treadmill but I can't think of a term for it, where old words lose their impact so new higher-intensity words are substituted to mean basically the same thing.)
Anyway, being a fairlyflat levelheaded person myself, I think it's just part of one's personality.
posted by Quietgal at 10:00 AM on June 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think the problem is that society has ramped up the language of emotional intensity over the last 20 or 30 years. Talk-show hosts used to be "pleased" to introduce their guests; now they're "excited". People on Facebook aren't just "happy" about something, they're "super-happy" - being merely happy seems like suspiciously faint praise. (Actually, I think this is more of a linguistic phenomenon than an actual emotional sea-change; akin to the euphemism treadmill but I can't think of a term for it, where old words lose their impact so new higher-intensity words are substituted to mean basically the same thing.)
Anyway, being a fairly
posted by Quietgal at 10:00 AM on June 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks all. I'm not sure whether the flatness is medication related, but even if it isn't, I'd like to at least have the capability to feel a larger emotional range---I'm not content with how I am now.
It's great to hear others have had similar experiences, and I'll definitely be talking with my psychiatrist more often and about more options. Much appreciated!
posted by Jacen Solo at 9:30 PM on June 19, 2011
It's great to hear others have had similar experiences, and I'll definitely be talking with my psychiatrist more often and about more options. Much appreciated!
posted by Jacen Solo at 9:30 PM on June 19, 2011
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Also, that irritable feeling can be a side effect of lowering the dose, and if you give it another month of accepting the stormy feelings as simply that (and not the world grating on you), you might feel better.
As always, my depression alleviation recommendation is to eat more protein. Protein (containing tryptophan) is the building block of serotonin, and it seems to work for people. Including me.
posted by gjc at 7:53 PM on June 18, 2011 [8 favorites]