I'm worried I might have an STD... or something.
June 14, 2011 10:06 AM Subscribe
What is going on with this lump in my genitalia? (female) Does this sound like an STD or something else?
Every so often I get something that feels like an ingrown hair on my mons pubis, about two inches above my clitoris. It's an itchy red lump like a pimple that is painful if I put any pressure on it. It goes away in about a week. It does not ooze or scab over. It is always in the same place and I don't get it anywhere else. I was thinking it might be herpes, but it does not look like this, though (gross pictures). There is only one lump.
I don't know if this is related but sometimes very specific parts of my genitalia get super sensitive, especially underneath my clitoris ( by underneath I mean towards my vagina). It hurts to be touched. But this does not necessarily correlate with the appearance of the lump.
The reason I no longer think it's an ingrown hair is because I stopped trimming or shaving my pubic area. It's been months and I just got another one of these things. I've had it for 4-5 days and now it's going away. My pubic hair is not unusually kinky or curly for a white person.
My husband and I both have HSV-1 (oral) and he gets blisters on his mouth more often than I do. I have never noticed anything on his genitals and he's never complained about them. I have never cheated on him and I do not believe he has cheated on me. We have been together for 7 years. I did some really stupid risky things before I met him and I have been tested for more serious STDs like HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis (all clean). I am not pregnant and never have been. He has had many less partners than I have and has never had sex with anyone else without a condom. He is kind of paranoid about STDs.
Any ideas what this is?
I don't want to go to our family doctor because if it's NOT an STD I don't want to scare my husband unnecesarily. So where should I get tested? I'm in the US and i have health insurance through my husband's company.
If it IS an STD then how do I approach this with my husband? my main fear is that he will be angry that I haven't dealt with this before, but it honestly did not occur to me that it could be anything more than an ingrown hair. I don't think he will think I cheated, but I don't want to plant a seed of mistrust either. Our marriage has had other problems lately and I'm really worried about adding one more thing. I am sort of freaking out.
Every so often I get something that feels like an ingrown hair on my mons pubis, about two inches above my clitoris. It's an itchy red lump like a pimple that is painful if I put any pressure on it. It goes away in about a week. It does not ooze or scab over. It is always in the same place and I don't get it anywhere else. I was thinking it might be herpes, but it does not look like this, though (gross pictures). There is only one lump.
I don't know if this is related but sometimes very specific parts of my genitalia get super sensitive, especially underneath my clitoris ( by underneath I mean towards my vagina). It hurts to be touched. But this does not necessarily correlate with the appearance of the lump.
The reason I no longer think it's an ingrown hair is because I stopped trimming or shaving my pubic area. It's been months and I just got another one of these things. I've had it for 4-5 days and now it's going away. My pubic hair is not unusually kinky or curly for a white person.
My husband and I both have HSV-1 (oral) and he gets blisters on his mouth more often than I do. I have never noticed anything on his genitals and he's never complained about them. I have never cheated on him and I do not believe he has cheated on me. We have been together for 7 years. I did some really stupid risky things before I met him and I have been tested for more serious STDs like HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis (all clean). I am not pregnant and never have been. He has had many less partners than I have and has never had sex with anyone else without a condom. He is kind of paranoid about STDs.
Any ideas what this is?
I don't want to go to our family doctor because if it's NOT an STD I don't want to scare my husband unnecesarily. So where should I get tested? I'm in the US and i have health insurance through my husband's company.
If it IS an STD then how do I approach this with my husband? my main fear is that he will be angry that I haven't dealt with this before, but it honestly did not occur to me that it could be anything more than an ingrown hair. I don't think he will think I cheated, but I don't want to plant a seed of mistrust either. Our marriage has had other problems lately and I'm really worried about adding one more thing. I am sort of freaking out.
I don't want to go to our family doctor because if it's NOT an STD I don't want to scare my husband unnecesarily
You need to go to a doctor. Seriously. The fact that your husband might be scared that a problem on your pubis is an STD is not a valid consideration -- because frankly he should be scared that it's some other problem that's NOT an STD. Go to a doctor, now. If going to a doctor is enough to break up your marriage than frankly he is a controlling ass. If the worry about that is all you than you need to get over it. Any response to a LUMP ON YOUR PUBIS other than go to a doctor is unhealthy and, frankly, kind of unreasonable. Things that are not STDs happen. A lot. Go to the doctor. Call right now.
posted by brainmouse at 10:13 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
You need to go to a doctor. Seriously. The fact that your husband might be scared that a problem on your pubis is an STD is not a valid consideration -- because frankly he should be scared that it's some other problem that's NOT an STD. Go to a doctor, now. If going to a doctor is enough to break up your marriage than frankly he is a controlling ass. If the worry about that is all you than you need to get over it. Any response to a LUMP ON YOUR PUBIS other than go to a doctor is unhealthy and, frankly, kind of unreasonable. Things that are not STDs happen. A lot. Go to the doctor. Call right now.
posted by brainmouse at 10:13 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't want to go to our family doctor because if it's NOT an STD I don't want to scare my husband unnecesarily.
Well, first and foremost, he doesn't need to know. There's no reason you need to tell him and there's no way the doctor could tell him.
Second, you have an actual, physical thing on your body where said thing should not normally be. That's more than enough reason to go to a doctor. If this existed on your arm or face or leg you'd go to a doctor, right? Then why not when it is where it is?
Third, you're working yourself up into a frenzy over this. Not going to the doctor will not solve anything. Going to a doctor might. That should make the course relatively clear for you.
posted by Riptor at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well, first and foremost, he doesn't need to know. There's no reason you need to tell him and there's no way the doctor could tell him.
Second, you have an actual, physical thing on your body where said thing should not normally be. That's more than enough reason to go to a doctor. If this existed on your arm or face or leg you'd go to a doctor, right? Then why not when it is where it is?
Third, you're working yourself up into a frenzy over this. Not going to the doctor will not solve anything. Going to a doctor might. That should make the course relatively clear for you.
posted by Riptor at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
planned parenthood, pay in cash, for discretion with testing.
as for what the bump is, i couldn't tell you, but i can tell you that i get a very similar bump on the left side of my labia majora. always in the same place, never spreading or getting itchy or inflamed. a doctor looked at it once, did a full round of std testing, and basically said that bodies are weird and create little bumps all over (true! i also have a skin tag on my ankle that will regrow no matter how many times i scratch it off while drunk).
posted by nadawi at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
as for what the bump is, i couldn't tell you, but i can tell you that i get a very similar bump on the left side of my labia majora. always in the same place, never spreading or getting itchy or inflamed. a doctor looked at it once, did a full round of std testing, and basically said that bodies are weird and create little bumps all over (true! i also have a skin tag on my ankle that will regrow no matter how many times i scratch it off while drunk).
posted by nadawi at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
You can go to your regular GP or GYN to have her take a look; this is a pretty routine request but if you're not comfortable or don't want the insurance billing trail, you can go to Planned Parenthood and pay the (very low) cost out out of pocket.
FWIW it sounds to me like this is either a sebaceous cyst (which is not an STD) or, yes, an ingrown hair. Sebaceous cysts are more likely to occur if you shave or have previously shaved. You will feel much better if you have it looked at, but I would not by any means assume you have an STD.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:16 AM on June 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
FWIW it sounds to me like this is either a sebaceous cyst (which is not an STD) or, yes, an ingrown hair. Sebaceous cysts are more likely to occur if you shave or have previously shaved. You will feel much better if you have it looked at, but I would not by any means assume you have an STD.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:16 AM on June 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
Difficult to say for sure - not clear from your description whether the lump is always there or only when it's irritated - but if the lump is always there and the irritation comes and goes, it could also be a sebaceous cyst, which mostly are an unassuming lump anywhere from the size of a lentil to a golf ball under the skin, but can get infected or irritated.
posted by aught at 10:18 AM on June 14, 2011
posted by aught at 10:18 AM on June 14, 2011
The reason I no longer think it's an ingrown hair is because I stopped trimming or shaving my pubic area.
I get ingrown hairs on the exact same spots on my legs over and over again, and I have never shaved my legs (I am male), so I don't see how that can be a reason to rule out an ingrown hair. Some of those things are deeeeeeep, too. You can't even tell it's a hair some of the time.
Still, go to the doctor. Period.
Why would telling your husband something is up scare him?
posted by TinWhistle at 10:18 AM on June 14, 2011
I get ingrown hairs on the exact same spots on my legs over and over again, and I have never shaved my legs (I am male), so I don't see how that can be a reason to rule out an ingrown hair. Some of those things are deeeeeeep, too. You can't even tell it's a hair some of the time.
Still, go to the doctor. Period.
Why would telling your husband something is up scare him?
posted by TinWhistle at 10:18 AM on June 14, 2011
Well, first and foremost, he doesn't need to know. There's no reason you need to tell him and there's no way the doctor could tell him.
if you really, really don't want him to know - don't go to the family doctor. while the doctor can't tell your husband, insurance keeps all sorts of records and the chance that a form somewhere will have your doctor's appointment on it is high. after i go to the doctor, i get 3 pieces of mail, one from the insurance, another from the doctor, and a week later another from the insurance company. he won't get a full reporting of your visit, but it's likely you won't be able to go in complete secret.
this is why i suggest planned parenthood and paying in cash.
posted by nadawi at 10:19 AM on June 14, 2011
if you really, really don't want him to know - don't go to the family doctor. while the doctor can't tell your husband, insurance keeps all sorts of records and the chance that a form somewhere will have your doctor's appointment on it is high. after i go to the doctor, i get 3 pieces of mail, one from the insurance, another from the doctor, and a week later another from the insurance company. he won't get a full reporting of your visit, but it's likely you won't be able to go in complete secret.
this is why i suggest planned parenthood and paying in cash.
posted by nadawi at 10:19 AM on June 14, 2011
Fair enough nadawi.
The secondary issue here is why her husband is the type who would freak out about her simply visiting their doctor. That's worth a lot of thought and reflection, fantoche. Way moreso than the likely sebaceous cyst we're talking about here.
posted by Riptor at 10:26 AM on June 14, 2011
The secondary issue here is why her husband is the type who would freak out about her simply visiting their doctor. That's worth a lot of thought and reflection, fantoche. Way moreso than the likely sebaceous cyst we're talking about here.
posted by Riptor at 10:26 AM on June 14, 2011
....You say you're concerned about it being an STD, but you're monogamous. So that means that the only person you could have caught an STD from is your husband. But he's also monogamous, so he couldn't have picked up an STD to give you in the first place. Right? So what's the hesitation coming from?
From what you're describing, though, it just sounds like a pimple or a cyst. I get those too, in that same general area, now and again.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:27 AM on June 14, 2011
From what you're describing, though, it just sounds like a pimple or a cyst. I get those too, in that same general area, now and again.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:27 AM on June 14, 2011
Sebaceous cysts tend to reoccur in the same spot, and ingrown hairs can happen even without shaving.
If you're concerned about STD screens showing up in a billing statement, the simple answer to that is "STD checks are very common as a let's-rule-this-out measure." Which is the truth.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 10:32 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
If you're concerned about STD screens showing up in a billing statement, the simple answer to that is "STD checks are very common as a let's-rule-this-out measure." Which is the truth.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 10:32 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
The secondary issue here is why her husband is the type who would freak out about her simply visiting their doctor.
well, from the question - Our marriage has had other problems lately and I'm really worried about adding one more thing. I am sort of freaking out.
it sounds like everything is a little heightened and that the doctor visit will be one more thing on the pile or things they're working through. i don't think it's fair to judge the husband on a reaction he hasn't even had. she's worried and nervous and she doesn't actually have to explain why. the solution to the question is go to the doctor, and here's a doctor you can go to that will alleviate your fears about discretion.
posted by nadawi at 10:33 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
well, from the question - Our marriage has had other problems lately and I'm really worried about adding one more thing. I am sort of freaking out.
it sounds like everything is a little heightened and that the doctor visit will be one more thing on the pile or things they're working through. i don't think it's fair to judge the husband on a reaction he hasn't even had. she's worried and nervous and she doesn't actually have to explain why. the solution to the question is go to the doctor, and here's a doctor you can go to that will alleviate your fears about discretion.
posted by nadawi at 10:33 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think some of us are being way too hard on her for not wanting to "scare" her husband. Health can be a very personal issue for some people, and sometimes it's more terrifying to bring someone else -- even your partner -- into the discussion without knowing the facts yourself.
posted by mochapickle at 10:34 AM on June 14, 2011
posted by mochapickle at 10:34 AM on June 14, 2011
Response by poster: I guess I was just afraid it was something that would lie dormant for a long time. The last time I was educated about STDs was high school and that was a couple decades ago.
also, by "freak out" i mean more like he is a hypochondriac worrier, not a controlling asshole. We have been under a LOT of stress and his mind might jump to places it normally wouldn't. I think more likely reaction than "omg she's cheating" would be "omg it's cancer and she's going to die"
on preview nadawi has it right.
posted by fantoche at 10:36 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
also, by "freak out" i mean more like he is a hypochondriac worrier, not a controlling asshole. We have been under a LOT of stress and his mind might jump to places it normally wouldn't. I think more likely reaction than "omg she's cheating" would be "omg it's cancer and she's going to die"
on preview nadawi has it right.
posted by fantoche at 10:36 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Mocha and nadawi, and certainly fantoche:
I apologize if I seem like I'm being critical or hard. It just seemed like you may have been at least thinking of putting your personal health and/or peace of mind behind the needs of another, and I think you owe yourself better than that. I certainly don't mean to be critical and I apologize if it came off that way.
I do think if you just head to a doctor, whether your own or PP, everything will turn out fine and you won't be so worried :)
posted by Riptor at 10:38 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
I apologize if I seem like I'm being critical or hard. It just seemed like you may have been at least thinking of putting your personal health and/or peace of mind behind the needs of another, and I think you owe yourself better than that. I certainly don't mean to be critical and I apologize if it came off that way.
I do think if you just head to a doctor, whether your own or PP, everything will turn out fine and you won't be so worried :)
posted by Riptor at 10:38 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Could be something as simple as a milium or just a pimple that can be drained with a lancet (which I would get the doc to do -- NOT on your own!). But I don't mess around with weird things in the ladybits area. Get it check out just for the peace of mind.
posted by pised at 10:46 AM on June 14, 2011
posted by pised at 10:46 AM on June 14, 2011
EmpressCallipygos: ....You say you're concerned about it being an STD, but you're monogamous. So that means that the only person you could have caught an STD from is your husband. But he's also monogamous, so he couldn't have picked up an STD to give you in the first place.
Just as an FYI, this is not strictly accurate and misconceptions have lead to the breakdown of more than one monogamous relationship. PID, HPV and Trichomoniasis can hang around for decades without symptoms. Untypically but not never, chlamydia, trich, and other STIs can be transmitted non-sexually. While the term "STI" implies that these infections can be acquired sexually, sexual contact is not the only way they can spread. This couple is not an infection free, closed system universe; particularly, they have a risk of HSV-1 transmission from oral to genital contact. That alone is a good reason to see a healthcare practitioner for any unusual symptoms.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:06 AM on June 14, 2011 [4 favorites]
Just as an FYI, this is not strictly accurate and misconceptions have lead to the breakdown of more than one monogamous relationship. PID, HPV and Trichomoniasis can hang around for decades without symptoms. Untypically but not never, chlamydia, trich, and other STIs can be transmitted non-sexually. While the term "STI" implies that these infections can be acquired sexually, sexual contact is not the only way they can spread. This couple is not an infection free, closed system universe; particularly, they have a risk of HSV-1 transmission from oral to genital contact. That alone is a good reason to see a healthcare practitioner for any unusual symptoms.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:06 AM on June 14, 2011 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: for those of you who suggested sebaceous cyst, that is exactly what it looks like (picture of someone's neck). I'll get it checked out anyway but thanks for calming me down.
posted by fantoche at 11:11 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by fantoche at 11:11 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Is it anywhere near time for your annual? I get a few STD tests as a matter of course every time I get my pap smear. That seems like it would be a simple way to get it checked out without arousing suspicion yet without having to do anything sneaky. And you might not even need STD tests for it at all -- I had a similar bump and freaked out, but it took the doctor only a few seconds of looking at it with a magnifying glass to diagnose it as a totally harmless tiny cyst or maybe even just a pimple. The peace of mind was both immediate and immense...I do recommend getting it looked at because if nothing's wrong you'll feel SO much better afterwards!
posted by ootandaboot at 11:48 AM on June 14, 2011
posted by ootandaboot at 11:48 AM on June 14, 2011
Yeah, I've gotten one or two of those in the same area in the past. I never went to the doctor and they went away on their own (a week or a tad more). Similar to cystic acne on my face, really. Painful to the touch and annoying, but will go away.
I'm not saying this is what it is, just giving you another piece of information. If you are worried, see a doctor.
posted by Glinn at 11:49 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm not saying this is what it is, just giving you another piece of information. If you are worried, see a doctor.
posted by Glinn at 11:49 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Just as a point of note and I am in no way implying you have an STD (IANAD): oral HSV1 can be transmitted to the genitals through oral sex.
posted by tristeza at 12:09 PM on June 14, 2011
posted by tristeza at 12:09 PM on June 14, 2011
I don't want to go to our family doctor because if it's NOT an STD I don't want to scare my husband unnecesarily. So where should I get tested? I'm in the US and i have health insurance through my husband's company.
I really think the best person for this would be an ob/gyn. You should have one you trust and can work with anyway, for pap smears and regular pelvic exams. And there's no need for your husband to know unless this turns out to be something contagious. So make an appointment for a pelvic, and don't worry about the rest unless it turns out to be an STD.
Which, you know, it probably isn't, based on your history.
posted by misha at 12:38 PM on June 14, 2011
I really think the best person for this would be an ob/gyn. You should have one you trust and can work with anyway, for pap smears and regular pelvic exams. And there's no need for your husband to know unless this turns out to be something contagious. So make an appointment for a pelvic, and don't worry about the rest unless it turns out to be an STD.
Which, you know, it probably isn't, based on your history.
posted by misha at 12:38 PM on June 14, 2011
I hesitate to contribute this, but ingrown hairs are amazing. You think it's a new mole and then, after years, you tweeze and get a 9 inch subcutaneous hair that has been coiling under your skin for a long time and the whole thing goes away. Sorry for the image.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:18 PM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:18 PM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Herpes can be transferred from mouth to genitals, but from what I've heard, you would know if it's herpes. If it doesn't feel like a cold sore, it's not herpes.
I've gotten all sorts of weird bumps/irritations/pimples/ingrown hairs down there. Ladyparts are sensitive. Does it help to put either antibacterial ointment or zit cream on it?
posted by radioamy at 6:26 PM on June 14, 2011
I've gotten all sorts of weird bumps/irritations/pimples/ingrown hairs down there. Ladyparts are sensitive. Does it help to put either antibacterial ointment or zit cream on it?
posted by radioamy at 6:26 PM on June 14, 2011
Well you said that you both have HSV-1 so it could be that. Sometimes they can switch from oral to genital if, say you touched your lip and then touched down there or if your husband was having an outbreak or was about to and went down there then it could have been passed on. So even if it turns out to be herpes when you see the doc it could be the same strain that you both already have.
Most likely though is a cyst or ingrown hair. But it is a possibility.
posted by wallarookiller at 8:50 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Most likely though is a cyst or ingrown hair. But it is a possibility.
posted by wallarookiller at 8:50 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
So, anecdata: I've freaked about very similar sounding problems myself (twice!), and it's turned out to be no big deal. But I was really glad to have a medical professional tell me that. If there isn't a planned parenthood near you, any Ob/gyn should be able to help you, too.
posted by ldthomps at 10:12 AM on June 14, 2011