FWB Best Practices?
June 9, 2011 10:41 PM Subscribe
Questions about FWB relationships. We dated a few years ago and had an amicable break-up. We got along in a lot of ways but there were important differences. A few months ago we ran into each other and had coffee and wound up in bed.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (22 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
She made it clear that she was not interested in a relationship and I was not either. But, I thought that we would do more than just have sex. The sex is satisfying and feels good but I usually feel used after. I have suggested a couple of times we grab some dinner or do something social but she is always very busy and has told me to find a girlfriend if I want to do couple things.
I realize a lot of men would find this an ideal situation as I discovered when I tried discussing this with a few friends who are married men. Their responses were not very helpful, all of the, “I married too early and missed out on the FWB trend. You have no idea how lucky you are! Keep things going and find a girlfriend. The possibilities are endless!”
Part of my ambivalence is that I am overweight at the moment. It is not a permanent thing as I gained a lot of weight during the last year due to a few injuries and am working on losing it, but I guess my self-esteem is hurting. Also, my partner is more conventionally attractive than I am and thin. She could have her pick of partners but she wants to be having sex with me, so that is good thing, right?
Part of the problem is probably that though I have plenty of experience sexually this is my first FWB relationship.
Do people in FWB relationships not do social things together? I absolutely do not see us as a couple or with any long-term potential, but it would be nice to read the paper together and meet for coffee to talk about different things or even see a movie.
I have begun dating and am looking for a girlfriend.
Why am I persisting with this relationship when it makes me feel bad?
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you resolve it?