Preventing cat loneliness
June 6, 2011 2:01 PM Subscribe
How do I tell if my cat's lonely?
I've been taking care of a 'spare' cat for the last few months. He's finally going to a new home this week and I'm worried that my cat is going to be terribly lonely once he's on his own again. As far as I can tell, the two got on well and had a lot of fun wrestling with each other. (My cat's just over a year old, so it's hard to tell if the way he's changed in the last few months is entirely due to growing up or also due to having a friend.) I'm going to make extra effort to play with my cat more once the other one goes. Is there anything else I should do?
I've been taking care of a 'spare' cat for the last few months. He's finally going to a new home this week and I'm worried that my cat is going to be terribly lonely once he's on his own again. As far as I can tell, the two got on well and had a lot of fun wrestling with each other. (My cat's just over a year old, so it's hard to tell if the way he's changed in the last few months is entirely due to growing up or also due to having a friend.) I'm going to make extra effort to play with my cat more once the other one goes. Is there anything else I should do?
hoyland: "Is there anything else I should do?"
Yeah, get another cat. Seriously, there is no better cat toy than another cat.
posted by mkultra at 2:27 PM on June 6, 2011 [5 favorites]
Yeah, get another cat. Seriously, there is no better cat toy than another cat.
posted by mkultra at 2:27 PM on June 6, 2011 [5 favorites]
You can tell a cat is lonely when it doesn't give you an peace when you're around. This happened to my cat when I moved out of my parents house and really the only solution was getting another cat. They aren't BFFs or anything, but my original cat's disposition improved dramatically and he needed my personal attention less and they keep each other entertained.
posted by Kimberly at 2:30 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Kimberly at 2:30 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: I'm not totally opposed to another cat. However, one of the reasons I'm not keeping the spare cat is financial--what happens if they both get sick/injured at once? The spare cat is ten, so I suppose the likelihood of him getting sick is much higher than for a younger cat, but the issue's still there. (The other reasons I'm not keeping him wouldn't apply to another cat. They have to do with how I got him and that those circumstances have made it hard to bond with him or love him and have made me not trust myself to make good decisions about his healthcare when he eventually becomes ill from old age.)
posted by hoyland at 2:35 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by hoyland at 2:35 PM on June 6, 2011
Seconding unbearable neediness as a good sign your cat needs a cat. Mine loathes her younger sibling, and is still saner and less needy than the year it was just the two of us.
posted by restless_nomad at 2:39 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by restless_nomad at 2:39 PM on June 6, 2011
You're right, it is possible that they could both get sick at the same time, but I now have four cats (two 14 year olds, one 13 year old, one 6 year old) though and I have never had two cats have problems at the same time (other than passing around the cold which we did not go to the vet for). Which is not to say that can't possibly happen to you, but if they are indoor cats the likelihood is much lower. Because my cats are indoor cats we also aren't big believers in regular vaccinations and the only cat problems we've had are teeth issues and that was with one cat who just had bad teeth his whole life. We spend waaaay more money on the dog :)
posted by Kimberly at 2:44 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Kimberly at 2:44 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Have you considered pet health insurance? It exists, and might allay your quite understandable fears.
posted by amtho at 3:43 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by amtho at 3:43 PM on June 6, 2011
Response by poster: I have considered pet health insurance. The plans I found seemed fairly useless, in the sense that I was better off playing the odds for the time it would take me to set aside a comparable amount of money as I would have in coverage (if that makes sense). It's worth revisiting, though, particularly with an eye to how it changes the equation for two cats.
posted by hoyland at 4:23 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by hoyland at 4:23 PM on June 6, 2011
Thirding endless cat pestering as a symptom of cat loneliness. My cat had always had a dog friend until I moved into a living situation where she was the only pet. She went from a little crazy but relatively chill, to climbing up my back when I was doing dishes, jumping on my roommate all the time, walking around meowing at me constantly, biting my ankles, and she could never get enough playtime. NEVER.
When I moved in with my boyfriend, who has a dog, she calmed down almost immediately and now she sleeps all day with the occasional kitten-spaz.
I would just watch for behavioral changes, like neediness, especially if they don't get better. He might be fine, since it sounds like he didn't have a buddy before the spare cat came along. You may not even have to make a decision about another cat right now if he's just his same old self.
If you decide he's lonely and you need another cat, I say go for it! In my experience of being part of a two cat household for a couple years, the kinds of sicknesses that cats (indoor only cats, anyway) aren't usually communicable - stuff like bladder infections or joint problems from old age. If fleas are around both cats will need to be treated, but that's not very expensive. This might be different with outdoor cats that are exposed to all sorts of things, but even then, just keep their vaccinations up to date.
posted by sherber at 4:28 PM on June 6, 2011
When I moved in with my boyfriend, who has a dog, she calmed down almost immediately and now she sleeps all day with the occasional kitten-spaz.
I would just watch for behavioral changes, like neediness, especially if they don't get better. He might be fine, since it sounds like he didn't have a buddy before the spare cat came along. You may not even have to make a decision about another cat right now if he's just his same old self.
If you decide he's lonely and you need another cat, I say go for it! In my experience of being part of a two cat household for a couple years, the kinds of sicknesses that cats (indoor only cats, anyway) aren't usually communicable - stuff like bladder infections or joint problems from old age. If fleas are around both cats will need to be treated, but that's not very expensive. This might be different with outdoor cats that are exposed to all sorts of things, but even then, just keep their vaccinations up to date.
posted by sherber at 4:28 PM on June 6, 2011
Random destructiveness is also a sign of loneliness - trust me, my TV and everything that once hung on my walls within reach of lonely kitty can attest to this. He was alone for all of two, maybe three weeks, while I considered which cat to adopt as a companion for him. In that time, he knocked all of the paintings off the wall, ripped photos off of my bulletin board and made a valiant effort to knock my TV from its stand (while I was watching it!).
I, too, hesitated about adopting another cat because of financial concerns. In the past two years, my finances were negatively impacted by my cats' need for vet care. Of course, those two cats were more than 15 years old by the time they needed that amount of care. When they were younger (meaning between the time I adopted them and when they turned 15/16yo), they cost me very, very little in vet bills.
I solved Lonely Kitty's destructiveness by adopting not one, but TWO new cats. "Twins". Very cute and they have prevented Lonely Kitty from attempting to kill my TV. In fact, they keep each other healthy by chasing one another throughout the house - Lonely Kitty lost weight after they joined the household.
posted by LOLAttorney2009 at 7:20 PM on June 6, 2011
I, too, hesitated about adopting another cat because of financial concerns. In the past two years, my finances were negatively impacted by my cats' need for vet care. Of course, those two cats were more than 15 years old by the time they needed that amount of care. When they were younger (meaning between the time I adopted them and when they turned 15/16yo), they cost me very, very little in vet bills.
I solved Lonely Kitty's destructiveness by adopting not one, but TWO new cats. "Twins". Very cute and they have prevented Lonely Kitty from attempting to kill my TV. In fact, they keep each other healthy by chasing one another throughout the house - Lonely Kitty lost weight after they joined the household.
posted by LOLAttorney2009 at 7:20 PM on June 6, 2011
Have you considered fostering a cat? A cat who needs some love and socialization from a shelter or rescue organization gets to spend some time in a loving cat-friendly home, you're not on the hook for the bills, and your kitty gets a playmate. Basically, it's just repeating the situation you're currently in - taking care of cat that temporarily needs a home until their forever home can be found. Everyone wins! I dont have time to write more, but search ask mefi for the other fostering threads for more info.
posted by cgg at 7:35 PM on June 6, 2011
posted by cgg at 7:35 PM on June 6, 2011
amtho: "Have you considered pet health insurance? It exists, and might allay your quite understandable fears."
Pet insurance is a total racket, designed to do little more than get you to agree to increasingly expensive tests and procedures that will probably have little ultimate effect on your pet. Avoid it at all (literal and figurative) costs.
posted by mkultra at 4:55 AM on June 7, 2011
Pet insurance is a total racket, designed to do little more than get you to agree to increasingly expensive tests and procedures that will probably have little ultimate effect on your pet. Avoid it at all (literal and figurative) costs.
posted by mkultra at 4:55 AM on June 7, 2011
Fostering is a good idea. Most of the time it is temporary, but if you end up with an older cat, it's quite possible you'll be it's "forever home" and not have to pay the vet bills when/if it becomes ill.
And for what it's worth my belief is that kitties come in pairs. I've had one single cat and it was a mistake. I added a pair, for a total of three cats and he was much happier.
posted by deborah at 4:29 PM on June 7, 2011
And for what it's worth my belief is that kitties come in pairs. I've had one single cat and it was a mistake. I added a pair, for a total of three cats and he was much happier.
posted by deborah at 4:29 PM on June 7, 2011
Re: pet insurance.
My husband and I figured out that if we put the money that we would pay for pet insurance into a savings account every month for pet emergencies we actually get more use out of that money for our pets and a lot less hassle than actually having the insurance. If you are concerned and are looking for a way to "finance" any pet issues that might be something to consider.
posted by Kimberly at 8:15 AM on June 8, 2011
My husband and I figured out that if we put the money that we would pay for pet insurance into a savings account every month for pet emergencies we actually get more use out of that money for our pets and a lot less hassle than actually having the insurance. If you are concerned and are looking for a way to "finance" any pet issues that might be something to consider.
posted by Kimberly at 8:15 AM on June 8, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by cyndigo at 2:06 PM on June 6, 2011