Pregnancy after adopted teens in family?
June 6, 2011 6:19 AM Subscribe
Having a surprise biological child after adoption, especially with older children in a sibling group who will be 10-20 years older than the new one. They're happy, we're happy right now - but what issues should we expect? And what about the stupid 'finally your own real child' comments starting?
posted by anonymous to human relations (9 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
This is anon for my kids' privacy. We have four amazing children, adopted in complicated international circumstances. We chose adoption very quickly after a series of early miscarriages a decade ago, and now have four great teenagers in an open adoption with lots of contact. They are not the same race as one of us, and although now for example, scifi bookworms, they are also all sporty and not very academic, unlike the rest of our side of the family, but obv. much like their other parents.
We're now expecting in the first trimester, with a heartbeat and far more medical odds this time round. The conception was not planned as we thought fertility was off the table, but hey. The kids are mostly pleased with questions, and we would like to anticipate likely issues for both them and the future baby. I don't know any adoptive family in the same circumstances, only ones with bio-kids born first.
We've already been surprised, luckily out of their earshot, by a congrats-real-baby comment, and I'd like to know what else to expect.
I already know from one miscarriage during an early crisis with the kids, that I love them as fiercely and deeply as any biological child will, and we have nieces and nephews biologically too. My kids are fairly well bonded to us, although they are all abuse survivors and have worked hard to become stable and secure.