Help clue me in on what to expect in spending time with a man who has had dom-fem experience but wants to leave that in the past.
May 18, 2011 10:29 AM Subscribe
A friend of mine has had Dom-Fem experience and wants to leave it in the past. He believes it ruined his marriage of many years (she wasn't into it), but also got addicted to internet sex sites and liaisons. He's asked me out....what do I need to know?
posted by anonymous to human relations (21 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Things are heating up with a friend of mine who has had past experience with Dom-Fem relationships. He is just fresh out of a long marriage in which he tried to bring his wife on board with these desires, but it resulted in the ultimate demise of his marriage. His interest was there and to satisfy his wishes, he got pretty entrenched in porn and online liaisons.
Ultimately, the trust went out the window with his wife.
He's informed me of his past experiences, but doesn't want this in his present.
I'm a pretty open person, but have not explored this culture and am not sure about the idea. I have other ideas about keeping the sexual relationship spicy.
Because of his use of porn and online dating sites, etc, he developed a pattern of keeping secrets from his ex-wife. That, of course, is a slippery slope, with little white lies becoming "okay" and really easy to tell. We all know about this.
I'm not sure if he's really progressed to the place of rigorous honesty in his life. How that ties into his sexual needs is pretty critical...I suppose we hide things and lie when we fear our needs won't be met in legit ways...or at least agreed up on ways.
Anyway, I'm not judgmental of his past...just unaware...but the pattern of hiding things does send up some red flags for me. I'm not big on being lied to, as it hurts. I can keep this relationship a friendship.
Some insights, perspectives, understandings of where he's coming from.....even some suggestions on questions I might ask and information I might need to get from him....all this would be really helpful. I've done a bit of online reading, but Me-Fites always bring a good collection of wisdom together.