Move into my dad's basement suite?
May 11, 2011 12:16 PM Subscribe
My parents are splitting up after 36 years. My dad will be buying a house of his own. If he gets a place with a basement suite and I move into it, what pitfalls should I be aware of? I'm 30.
posted by anonymous to human relations (37 answers total)
After a long, unhappy marriage, the plug is finally being pulled on my parents' marriage. Neither is particularly emotionally healthy, and living apart will probably be difficult for both.
I had an idea: since my dad will be buying a house of his own (for just himself to live in), maybe he could find a place with a self-contained basement suite. I could move into the suite. He'd live upstairs. With this arrangement, I'd maintain my dignity and privacy by living in a self-contained suite, but be close enough to my father to be a support to him. I'm pretty sure he'll find living alone quite hard, especially since he has no meaningful friendships, and I'd like to be there for him as best as I can. This is one possible means of doing so.
I'm imagining popping upstairs to hang out with him a couple evenings a week and maybe on weekends. He and I currently have a very good relationship.
About me: I'm 30, male, and single, no girlfriend. I currently live with 2 roommates in a situation that I'm relatively comfortable with. I wouldn't expect this new arrangement to last more than a year or two. After that much time, I'd probably end up making a change -- either by buying a place of my own, moving to another city, or getting married.
As I consider this, what should I bear in mind? I'm particuarly thinking of any effects this arrangement might have on:
--my relationship with my father
--my own emotional health
--what people may assume about me (as i would basically be one of those guys who "lives in his parents' basement")