Potty training book for 2 year old
May 10, 2005 9:18 AM   Subscribe

I have a two year old boy who needs to be potty trained. A friend, who moved away, had mentioned a book that he read to his children over the course of several weeks and, on their own, both children told their dad that they did not want to use diapers anymore. Anybody out there have similar experiences potty training? Any book/video suggestions?
posted by thimk to Education (16 answers total)
 
As a bookstore employee, I get hundreds of parents looking for this book, it's more for parents though.
posted by drezdn at 9:42 AM on May 10, 2005


For both of our kids, the best "training" was to simply let them see mommy and daddy use the "big kid" toilet. They simply wanted to be big like mommy and daddy. I don't even think they used their potty chair for more than a week or so.

People tell us we are blessed for not having any training problems.

Also, a big motivator for them (the kids) to move from diapers (and potty chairs) was the daycare environment. That whole "only babies wear diapers" observation.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:50 AM on May 10, 2005


How timely! Ours is now dry going on two weeks or so. We read this book (appears to have referral ID, maybe? Don't know who it is 'cause I just typed it in and it sure as hell isn't me)

Ahem. Anyway, The book didn't seem to be all that useful. We did bought a toy tool set and offering one tool per dry day, and that was somewhat useful, but one of the bigger motivators I think was the chance to wear cool underpants with Bob the Builder and such. The "not a baby factor" may also have helped. I think these things are just to provide the initial push, though--more is gained through the avoidance of the yuckiness of accidents and the feeling of accomplishment of successes. The tool, I guess, is just a concrete way of acknowledging a whole day's success.

It really does seem that kids have stages where they're more receptive to the training, and stages where it won't really work. We started our by just setting him on the potty at certain times: "time to go to the potty!" vice "do you have to go?" Later we started asking more, but if there was a "no" and he hadn't gone in a while, he would go anyway. Distraction is a problem--the key seems to be to increase the awareness of the urge and the memory of what it feels like (yucky) when you ignore it. It is, of course, hard to potty train unles wearing underwear or some other thing that's not as comfortable after peeing, etc. than diapers.

Now, he'll stop and say "I have to use the potty!" by himself, and occassionally we'll ask him if he needs to go and he'll say yes sometimes, making it less necessary to set him on there when he says "no" (essentially, you can trust him/her more).
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 10:03 AM on May 10, 2005


Was the book Everybody Poops? It's helped me relieve my bowels, I imagine the children will like it too.
posted by FearTormento at 10:07 AM on May 10, 2005


I have to second Thorzdad: just hook him up with some bigger kids (already trained) and he'll learn from example, peer pressure and the need to fit in. Plus he'll learn to pee in potted plants, right his name on a wall, size comparisson (yes, at that age too)....
posted by jsavimbi at 10:10 AM on May 10, 2005


With boys, float a square of toilet paper in the toilet and let them do target practice. This was quite popular. My son also loved to pee outdoors, and going outside to water a tree was a big motivator.

My son is pretty contrary, and opposed potty/poop training. He got 1 M&M every time he sat on the toilet, regardless of production, and a matchbox-type car for every poop produced. It took about a dozen cars. The joy of being clean and dry and wearing bigboy underpants like his dad's was its own reward once he figured out the basics.
posted by theora55 at 10:38 AM on May 10, 2005


Don't freak out if the books, peer pressure, or bribery don't work. We started training our son at 2 - he was clearly not ready, so we backed off for about six months or so, then started slowly at his instigation. One day, he was ready, and it took one day of wet pants to convince him that the potty was a goodness, but like every other battle we've had (weaning, sleeping alone, and eating), we've had to gage an acceptable midpoint between our efforts and his willingness.

Yeah, so basically, we're whipped. But from what I've repeatedly heard, kids have two incontrovertible means of control: eating and elimination. Maybe you'll luck out in this area and can toss the diapers next week, but if not, don't worry. He won't go to college in diapers.
posted by bibliowench at 10:50 AM on May 10, 2005


Once Upon a Potty worked for me! They make a girl version and a boy version.

If you think about it, toilet training is like... the WEIRDEST THING EVER.
posted by elisabeth r at 11:29 AM on May 10, 2005


We just left the bathroom door open when we went and my daughter got it pretty easily. In fact, she was going on the potty before daycare allowed her to. It was almost a year after that she was able to go through the night without pull-ups, though.

I've heard lots of people swear by changing back to cloth diapers (all-in-ones, not pinned) so that kids could feel and understand when they were wet. Alternately, changing to really cheap diapers that aren't as wonderfully absorbent. My daughter was always uncomfortable when she needed a change. Your son's awareness level and feelings of discomfort with wetness (and otherwise) will play a big part of your "strategy."

Rewards like really cool character underpants, a potty seat that we painted with acrylics and similar bathroom related rewards (rather than arbitary candy or something) seem to motivate both my daughter and her friends that are boys. (Even if you find yourself having to make special underwear with iron-ons because their favorite show/book/video game isn't as toyetic as a Disney pic.)

Don't get discouraged. It'll happen.
posted by Gucky at 11:30 AM on May 10, 2005


Oh, friends of mine swear by the potty episode of Bear in the Big Blue House. If your son doesn't like the show, I don't know if it'll help, but I know for my friends' son, seeing it as part of one of his favorite shows made a difference.
posted by Gucky at 11:35 AM on May 10, 2005


We made a pretty smooth transition with my contrary son by using M&Ms, pull ups, positive reinforcement ("Wow! Let's call grandma and tell her what you did!") and generally not pushing it too hard. Once he got used to wearing diapers there was still a transitional stage where he would forget to use the toilet if he was too busy having fun with his friends.
posted by LarryC at 12:16 PM on May 10, 2005


It's important not to start too early-- and two years old, for a boy, just might be a bit too early. I kept a potty chair around for about six months before my son started using it on his own, the summer before he turned three (summer is great for this-- kids can run around without diapers at all, and if it's only a few steps to the potty, you are away to the races). Kids generally learn by imitating the adults around them, so if your son sees you using the toilet, chances are he will follow suit as soon as he is able.

I didn't use any rewards, pressure, or even much discussion beyond telling him what the potty chair was for and pointing out where it was. The first time he stopped playing, walked over to the potty and peed in it, I was on the phone to a friend who had a similar take on child-rearing, and I actually had to stop myself from saying something (She said "Be cool" or words to that effect.) The idea is that anything that involves rewards or treats enters you into a system which contains not only the rewards for certain behaviour, but also gives the child, once they realize that you really care about this, the option of fighting with you over it. So I didn't bother with rewards, praise, or anything beyond This is where you go, and then following his lead. Worked like a charm.
posted by jokeefe at 1:04 PM on May 10, 2005


I heard raves for the game "sink the Cheerios" for boys.
posted by plinth at 2:29 PM on May 10, 2005


Best answer: We just went through this with our 3-year-old. I did a Google Groups search and found this 1992 recommendation for Toilet Learning, by Alison Mack. It worked pretty well for us.
posted by russilwvong at 2:32 PM on May 10, 2005


I've learned in the last month or two that saying, "I don't want diapers" any more isn't enough. My son asks to wear big-kid underwear but isn't yet self-aware enough to know that he needs to pee. I still put them on him when he asks, and he's slowly learning, most likely (I think) because I leave him in his undies for a while after he wets them so he knows how uncomfortable it is. I also give him full access to the bathroom and a potty, so he understands the process. I expect one day he'll just make the connection on his own.

The Cheerio trick is popular, and I've also heard of floating a ping-pong ball in the toilet. For girls or boys, putting blue food colouring in the toilet water and showing them how it turns green, or using red to make orange when they pee is apparently another good method to get them enthusiastic.
posted by tracicle at 5:38 PM on May 10, 2005


Response by poster: Thanks for all the suggestions. I tried the Bear & the Big Blue House with my daughter...no dice. She learned form the cuban daycare center. My son is with me and looks like I'm ordering the Alison Mack book. $0.39 used on Amazon. Can't beat the price and with the money I save I think I'll but the TT In a Day book as well.
posted by thimk at 8:26 AM on May 11, 2005


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