Is falling in love before going away a good idea?
May 6, 2011 8:58 AM Subscribe
I have met a girl that I really like but I am going abroad for a half a year in three months. I don't know if I should let myself allow falling in love with her or just distance myself to her emotionally.
Also the history seems to be repeating itself…
posted by Sexy Motherfucker to human relations (13 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
For the first time in a really long time I really like a girl. For the first time in a really long time I really FELT something in a kiss...
We became acquainted a few months ago and things have been evolving slowly since. The other day we kissed and I have a really good feeling about her. I am truly on the edge of falling in love.
The thing is, I am going on exchange studies in three months, being 10.000km away from her for a half a year.
I really really like the girl but I am also really afraid to fall in love with her, because I'll have to leave her again very soon.
It has to be said also that 4 years ago (when I was 20) I was in the same situation with another girl. Back then it was just too late: I had already fallen deeply in love with her. When I met her I had already planned an 8 months trip abroad. I was with her for 7 months before I went on my trip convinced that it would all work out for us. When we saw each other again after 8 months apart, 8 months of waiting for each other, she broke up with me right away. Not only did it she break up with me and broke my heart, it basically also ruined my entire trip having a girlfriend overseas, missing her so much I couldn't focus on just enjoying the trip.
The break-up took very hard on me, I have had a hard time getting emotionally attached to girls since, and it has been difficult not to compare girls with the x, which never came out to the new girls' advantage. It has played a great part of the past years and therefor it's an extreme release to know that I have finally moved on, though it took me almost 3 years.
Finally I am ready to fall in love again with this new girl, but now I just se history repeating itself… I don't want to experience the same thing again all over. At the same time I don't want to let go of the new girl. She is really too terrific and it's been so long since I've had these feelings for anyone. The situation is so absurd that it physically hurts!
I haven't told the new girl about my exchange trip yet either. I know it's inevitable, I'm just afraid it will make her distance herself from me. I know I have to tell her before things get serious. If I allow them to.
Should I just jump into it and fall in love - see where it gets me? Or should I distance myself to her or whatelse can I do? .. and what do I do if I fall in love? The timing of this is sooo miserable!