What if my kids are not mine?
May 2, 2011 6:07 AM Subscribe
I am going through a divorce and have recently found out that my wife has had numerous affairs while we were married. This information has got me thinking that one of my children may not be biologically mine. So now what?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (50 answers total)
I have been married 17 years and am getting divorced from my wife. We have two children, both not quite teenagers. As I find out more about her secret life, I have discovered that she has had numerous affairs during our marriage.
I have often suspected that one of my children was possibly not mine, and have even joked about it as he looks nothing like me. Now, I wonder even more in light of the new information.
Legally, we are a couple months from being divorced. We have been very friendly during the process. We have decided 50/50 custody with no child support or alimony.
At this point I really want the divorce to be over so I can move on with my life. However, I am now considering having a paternity test on my children to see if they are really biologically mine. Is this a good idea or not?
Some back story... I am adopted, along with my brother and sister. Regardless of any paternity test results, I would still love my kids until the end of the earth. It wouldn't affect my relationship to them at all. It would however affect their relationship to me. Would they want to know their real biological father, would they sek him out? If one of the children were not mine I am certain it would affect the divorce as well, but I am not a lawyer so I don't know in what ways.
I would like to do nothing for now because it will only complicate things with the divorce. In the future when the youngest turns 18 (or some other milestone age) I can tell them both and let them decide what to do. But I not sure this is a good idea either as it will be putting the burden on them and really only making things easier for me now.