Rushin' Roulette is already taken
April 27, 2011 8:20 AM   Subscribe

Here's another 'what should my roller derby name be?' question.

Hey guys, I just found out last night that I made it onto the banked track league here in town. Yay! Now, I gotta register my skate name, and you guys are just too good not to ask, so here I am.

Relevant details about myself:
* Computer Programmer (Java, Android apps at the moment)
* Live in Austin
* Born in Russia (well, technically the Soviet Union), moved to the states at age 5
* Grew up in Indiana
* Internet Nerd
* Love cats
* Also into film & art
* Speak a little French

I'm a pretty fast skater, but still have a long way to go before I'm a super jammer or anything like that. I also don't know what team I'm going to be on yet, so I can't really do a team related name unless I were to change it later.

Oh, and here's the master roster, so it can't be on this list already.
posted by theRussian to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (38 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: Fury Gagarin!
posted by shiu mai baby at 8:27 AM on April 27, 2011 [12 favorites]


Kalishni-Kitty.
posted by adamrice at 8:27 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


LOLCATAPULT
posted by mikepop at 8:32 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Rollatariat.
posted by Asparagirl at 8:39 AM on April 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


Best answer: The Death Tsar
posted by mikepop at 8:40 AM on April 27, 2011 [15 favorites]


Natasha Nukem
Kitty Mainframe
Cheetah Calculeetah
posted by Flood at 8:43 AM on April 27, 2011


Best answer: Soviet Crushya
posted by mikepop at 8:46 AM on April 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Soviet Crushya is an awesome idea.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 8:53 AM on April 27, 2011


Doctor Shivago
posted by mikepop at 8:56 AM on April 27, 2011


Chairman Meow.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:58 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


I.C.B.Emma
posted by castlebravo at 9:04 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hater Lovelace

PERL Jammer

(If I could be a professional derby-namer, I really would. I love this shit).
posted by nakedmolerats at 9:07 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Also perhaps Iron Curtain / Iron Hurtin' (if you're into USSR references)
posted by nakedmolerats at 9:15 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Soviette

Eastern Bloc-er

Yuri Impairin'

Jamya Karennina

Android Pogrommer (oof)
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:16 AM on April 27, 2011


Whoring Pieces?
C++CCP?
2600 Bawd?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:18 AM on April 27, 2011


Natasha Nogoodnik isn't taken. It's not a pun, but she was the Soviet baddie in the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons. They apparently changed her name later in the show's run to Natasha Fatale, but I didn't get the memo until middle age. I think Nogoodnik is funnier, anyway.
posted by richyoung at 9:22 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Nikita Krushchev
posted by iconomy at 9:27 AM on April 27, 2011


Indiana Joan
posted by ian1977 at 9:31 AM on April 27, 2011


Best answer: Xenia Onatopp

Smirnoff Vice

White Russian

Eastern Bloc'er or Eastern Bloc Her

Tsar Sweeper
Tsar Lite
Tsar Bright
Shooting Tsar

Cold Warrior

From Russia With Blood

Rushin' Revolution
posted by TooFewShoes at 9:31 AM on April 27, 2011


Keep Austin Feared
Hacker Smirnov
She-Drago
posted by ian1977 at 9:42 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Nikolai Walkitoff
posted by infinitewindow at 10:17 AM on April 27, 2011


Fight Russian
posted by mikepop at 10:37 AM on April 27, 2011


Best answer: Empress Skaterina
Katya N. Hurtya
Natasha Smashanov
Moscow Molly Tov
Inga Nagetcha
Olya Worst Nightmares
Nikita Crusher
Noksya Hardenov
Cher Nobl
Alinya Buisness

I wish I were Russian now...
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:43 AM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


(You know that twoevils roster hasn't been updated in like, two years, right? Googling for your desired skater name is probably a better way to find out if it's been taken. Love and can openers, Slambrosia)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:44 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


Best answer: If you're as big a film nerd as I am, you might like being called Odessa Steps...

derby steps are important, after all, and that scene is quintessentially famous and badass.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:58 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Nikita Krushchev

Unita Crushchest

May Hem

Siberian Slammer
posted by jaimystery at 11:37 AM on April 27, 2011


Lyudmila Pavlicheckyou
Kasmira SUPREME Femalevich
Rosa Klobber
posted by klangklangston at 12:17 PM on April 27, 2011


Anna Careenintaya
posted by mikepop at 12:25 PM on April 27, 2011


Response by poster: These are great, thanks guys! Now all my friends are pressuring me to be the Death Tsar. I've never actually seen Star Wars though, so I'm not sure if I could pull that off :P
posted by theRussian at 3:06 PM on April 27, 2011


Ityll Kostya
Kostya Plenty
Tsar N Feather
A tweak:
Dr. Shovago
posted by plinth at 7:45 PM on April 27, 2011


Kay Geebee.
posted by Bookhouse at 12:38 AM on April 28, 2011


Kostya Armannaleg
posted by plinth at 3:44 AM on April 28, 2011


Katyusha Rocket
posted by bubonicpeg at 3:55 AM on April 28, 2011


I've never actually seen Star Wars though, so I'm not sure if I could pull that off

Star Wars viewing / naming party?
posted by mikepop at 5:14 AM on April 28, 2011


Katya N. Hurtya - I just love this one.
posted by peagood at 7:09 AM on April 28, 2011


mikepop: The Death Tsar

Sadly, "Death Tsarista" doesn't have the same ring, and my attempt to make an additional pun falls a bit flat:

Death Star
...ista Worst
posted by filthy light thief at 7:41 AM on April 28, 2011


Tho things to keep in mind for a derby names areL what your teammates will shorten it to, and how the announcers will fuck it up. Announcers, pronounce "tsar?" Dream on, say I. If your derby name is hard to say and doesn't offer a diminutive or clipped version, it won't stick among teammates. People will just keep calling Pam or whathaveyou.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:01 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Response by poster: Just to follow up: I went with Soviet Crusha :D
posted by theRussian at 12:14 PM on May 27, 2011


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