Should I report my Nanny to CPS
April 26, 2011 11:53 AM Subscribe
I am concerned that my son's Nanny may have gotten high while looking after my son. Should I report this to CPA/CPS?
My darling wife came home early yesterday on Nanny's first day to find her sitting on the Kitchen floor rocking back and forth holding a child that was screaming, and making no attempt to soothe him.
On questioning, the answers she provided were very very strange: Q:"How long did it take to get him to sleep" A:"About 4 months"
We are concerned that this might have been a medical episode and not drug related, but even so, it seems that anything that might lead to this sort of situation should have been disclosed.
We have notified the agency that was doing our 3rd party vetting, and are also notifying her references.
Should we report this to CPA/CPS or is this something that we have to chalk up to experience?
M
My darling wife came home early yesterday on Nanny's first day to find her sitting on the Kitchen floor rocking back and forth holding a child that was screaming, and making no attempt to soothe him.
On questioning, the answers she provided were very very strange: Q:"How long did it take to get him to sleep" A:"About 4 months"
We are concerned that this might have been a medical episode and not drug related, but even so, it seems that anything that might lead to this sort of situation should have been disclosed.
We have notified the agency that was doing our 3rd party vetting, and are also notifying her references.
Should we report this to CPA/CPS or is this something that we have to chalk up to experience?
M
Hmmm...if she did get high, it was on something more serious than a couple tokes of weed (which would still have been egregious). This either sounds like a hard-ish drug or something medical.
Is she licensed? If so, then contacting the licensing agency is probably the right way to go. If not, I think notifying her references and the agency is probably sufficient to make sure someone addresses the issue and to make sure anyone else she might be caring for is made aware. I'm not entirely sure what the CPA would be able to do.
And yes, get another nanny immediately.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:59 AM on April 26, 2011
Is she licensed? If so, then contacting the licensing agency is probably the right way to go. If not, I think notifying her references and the agency is probably sufficient to make sure someone addresses the issue and to make sure anyone else she might be caring for is made aware. I'm not entirely sure what the CPA would be able to do.
And yes, get another nanny immediately.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:59 AM on April 26, 2011
What was her explanation for the weirdness? Did she say anything at all to give some reason why she was acting odd?
posted by otherwordlyglow at 12:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by otherwordlyglow at 12:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
It's not really your job to figure out what her problem was. Just report the behavior to the appropriate people and let them figure it out. And definitely get another nanny.
posted by empath at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by empath at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2011 [4 favorites]
FWIW, "rocking back and forth holding a child" sounds like "trying to soothe him" to me. "About 4 months," the way you've presented it, also seems like a humorous exaggeration.
So your examples of oddity don't really strike me as odd.
However!
I absolutely think you should find a new nanny. That is not the sort of relationship where you want to retain the services of someone you are at all uncomfortable with.
CPS responsibilities vary from state to state, county to county, and nation to nation. In general, however, their primary responsibility is the welfare of the child. If this woman is no longer caring for your child, then they quite possibility do not have statutory standing to do anything.
posted by kavasa at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2011 [18 favorites]
So your examples of oddity don't really strike me as odd.
However!
I absolutely think you should find a new nanny. That is not the sort of relationship where you want to retain the services of someone you are at all uncomfortable with.
CPS responsibilities vary from state to state, county to county, and nation to nation. In general, however, their primary responsibility is the welfare of the child. If this woman is no longer caring for your child, then they quite possibility do not have statutory standing to do anything.
posted by kavasa at 12:03 PM on April 26, 2011 [18 favorites]
In my experience, CPS wouldn't be able to do much. They don't hardly do anything when you report actual abuse. But that's my cynicism talking, too.
If you're notifying her references, what do they have to say? What does the vetting system have to say? And you might ask her, as well. This information may help you decide if it was medical (which I would not report to CPS) or drug related (which I probably would report). Medical condition is not negligent and she may not even know, drug related is obviously abuse/neglect perhaps worthy of reporting. I think you need to know what you're dealing with before you call CPS, though.
posted by amodelcitizen at 12:04 PM on April 26, 2011
If you're notifying her references, what do they have to say? What does the vetting system have to say? And you might ask her, as well. This information may help you decide if it was medical (which I would not report to CPS) or drug related (which I probably would report). Medical condition is not negligent and she may not even know, drug related is obviously abuse/neglect perhaps worthy of reporting. I think you need to know what you're dealing with before you call CPS, though.
posted by amodelcitizen at 12:04 PM on April 26, 2011
find her sitting on the Kitchen floor rocking back and forth holding a child that was screaming, and making no attempt to soothe him
You have given *zero* evidence that she was taking drugs. It sounds to me like the child had been screaming and she couldn't soothe him i.e. he had been screaming for 4 months is hyperbole on her part. Again, do really want to accuse her of abusing drugs when you have no evidence that she was? How would you feel if someone accused you?
posted by ennui.bz at 12:05 PM on April 26, 2011 [52 favorites]
You have given *zero* evidence that she was taking drugs. It sounds to me like the child had been screaming and she couldn't soothe him i.e. he had been screaming for 4 months is hyperbole on her part. Again, do really want to accuse her of abusing drugs when you have no evidence that she was? How would you feel if someone accused you?
posted by ennui.bz at 12:05 PM on April 26, 2011 [52 favorites]
I'm going to strongly recommend that you do not go to the authorities on this one. Why? Because you stand to get in a lot more trouble than your nanny does. Sure, she could get in trouble here, but it's your kid we're talking about, and the last thing you want is CPS deciding that you are bad parents for letting a drug-addled nanny watch your kids. Besides, you'd basically have to make an allegation that someone was using illegal drugs in yoru house. You don't even want to know how many different kinds of bad idea that is.
Fire your nanny and get another one. Not that hard these days.
Yes, this can get just this screwy. IAAL, but IANYL.
posted by valkyryn at 12:12 PM on April 26, 2011 [8 favorites]
Fire your nanny and get another one. Not that hard these days.
Yes, this can get just this screwy. IAAL, but IANYL.
posted by valkyryn at 12:12 PM on April 26, 2011 [8 favorites]
You have given *zero* evidence that she was taking drugs. It sounds to me like the child had been screaming and she couldn't soothe him i.e. he had been screaming for 4 months is hyperbole on her part. Again, do really want to accuse her of abusing drugs when you have no evidence that she was? How would you feel if someone accused you?
Agreed, I'd definitely get a new nanny, but I'd need a lot more proof than this to take it any further.
posted by TheBones at 12:13 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Agreed, I'd definitely get a new nanny, but I'd need a lot more proof than this to take it any further.
posted by TheBones at 12:13 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
I used to babysit a lot back in middle and high school. I was able to handle a lot of crazy kid stuff considering how young I was, including an injury requiring stitches, an incident involving poop and a wall, and getting a head stuck through the stair bannister. A sixth month old little boy almost did me in. He screamed for hours. And hours. And hours. When the parents got home, I was indeed sitting on the floor holding the child rocking back and forth, and it did indeed feel like he had been screaming for several months.
Did you question the nanny's behavior? When she said "four months" did you say, "no, really, how long?" Because if she continued to insist on quoting you four months of screaming time, then yeah, perhaps something was up. If she responded in a way that seemed like she was just extremely overwhelmed but still retaining her sanity, then that's very different.
I'm probably more reactive than most on the "but what about the children?!" front, and if she were, in fact, doing drugs while watching your child I would want to make sure she's held responsible for her actions. But based on the minimum amount of evidence you've presented here, I don't think any of us can, in good conscience, recommend that you report her to CPS for suspected drug abuse. There's just not enough information to make a serious accusation like that.
posted by phunniemee at 12:13 PM on April 26, 2011 [4 favorites]
Did you question the nanny's behavior? When she said "four months" did you say, "no, really, how long?" Because if she continued to insist on quoting you four months of screaming time, then yeah, perhaps something was up. If she responded in a way that seemed like she was just extremely overwhelmed but still retaining her sanity, then that's very different.
I'm probably more reactive than most on the "but what about the children?!" front, and if she were, in fact, doing drugs while watching your child I would want to make sure she's held responsible for her actions. But based on the minimum amount of evidence you've presented here, I don't think any of us can, in good conscience, recommend that you report her to CPS for suspected drug abuse. There's just not enough information to make a serious accusation like that.
posted by phunniemee at 12:13 PM on April 26, 2011 [4 favorites]
Yeah, I'm going to agree with the "no, do not report" crowd. Get a different nanny if you don't like your current sarcastic one. Is this your first child? You have my sympathies - I see your previous question about your son not being a fan of sleep. I think you're going to need to give more details before you're approaching anything close to a case of the nanny actually getting high.
posted by cashman at 12:14 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by cashman at 12:14 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Was there anything else that made your wife think your nanny might have been high? I've been a nanny, and saying it took four months to get the baby to sleep sounds like something I would have said witheringly and at the end of my rope after dealing with a screaming baby all day (and no baby can scream like a baby left with a new nanny for the first time, oy vey). Maybe inappropriate, given the nanny doesn't yet have a relationship with your family which would permit humor/hyperbole, but understandable.
posted by Felicity Rilke at 12:17 PM on April 26, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by Felicity Rilke at 12:17 PM on April 26, 2011 [7 favorites]
This sounds like a very frustrated nanny. I think the '4 months' comment was a feeble attempt at a joke and find it odd that neither you or your wife considered that as a possibility. Ask for another nanny if her actions worry you.
posted by iconomy at 12:18 PM on April 26, 2011 [11 favorites]
posted by iconomy at 12:18 PM on April 26, 2011 [11 favorites]
Is there a language barrier as well?
posted by k8t at 12:23 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by k8t at 12:23 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
this is bizarre - more context?
posted by radioamy at 12:24 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by radioamy at 12:24 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
A sixth month old little boy almost did me in. He screamed for hours. And hours. And hours. When the parents got home, I was indeed sitting on the floor holding the child rocking back and forth, and it did indeed feel like he had been screaming for several months.
I had an experience much like this. I was a very experienced babysitter, and the only time I felt like I was losing it was with a baby around a year old who did not cease to cry ALL NIGHT, as if he were literally terrified of me. (Poor kid, in retrospect I think he may have been autistic or had some other problem -- I've never run into anything like that before or since.) The ONLY thing I could do to calm him down was to lay down flat on the ground next to him and talk to him quietly, which seemed to be less distressing to him because he didn't want me to pick him up, but I also couldn't make any connection to him if I wasn't on his level. I'm sure that would have looked mighty strange if anyone walked in.
posted by yarly at 12:35 PM on April 26, 2011
I had an experience much like this. I was a very experienced babysitter, and the only time I felt like I was losing it was with a baby around a year old who did not cease to cry ALL NIGHT, as if he were literally terrified of me. (Poor kid, in retrospect I think he may have been autistic or had some other problem -- I've never run into anything like that before or since.) The ONLY thing I could do to calm him down was to lay down flat on the ground next to him and talk to him quietly, which seemed to be less distressing to him because he didn't want me to pick him up, but I also couldn't make any connection to him if I wasn't on his level. I'm sure that would have looked mighty strange if anyone walked in.
posted by yarly at 12:35 PM on April 26, 2011
I'm not sure how getting CPA/CPS involved doesn't end in you being investigated for leaving your child with her. Anyway, for all anybody knows she's just sarcastic and/or has a creepy sense of humor. Complain to the placement agency and then move on.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:41 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by Lyn Never at 12:41 PM on April 26, 2011
Was this the child that was a newborn in November? I'm thinking it's joke that was a month off.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 12:43 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by DestinationUnknown at 12:43 PM on April 26, 2011
Woaaah there!
Unless you're leaving out all the significant details leading you to believe she was high or having a mental health crisis you've already been overreacting in a way which will be needlessly harmful to your nanny's career!
If you don't mesh with her personality, get a new nanny! None of your story warrants anything from you but for an earnest clarifying Q&A session with your nanny.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 12:48 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
Unless you're leaving out all the significant details leading you to believe she was high or having a mental health crisis you've already been overreacting in a way which will be needlessly harmful to your nanny's career!
If you don't mesh with her personality, get a new nanny! None of your story warrants anything from you but for an earnest clarifying Q&A session with your nanny.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 12:48 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
Nthing the concept of a VERY tough day for the nanny and you not getting the joke.
posted by Aquaman at 12:54 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Aquaman at 12:54 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
In my youth, I worked as a nanny. Having dealt with a screaming child (who screamed non-stop for hours), I can relate to your nanny. If the child is not your own darling one, it can be very disconcerting. I too ended up sitting on the floor, rocking a child screaming bloody murder for hours, and it seemed like 4 months. Unless you know there were drugs, just get a new nanny.
posted by fifilaru at 12:56 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by fifilaru at 12:56 PM on April 26, 2011
I don't know where you live, but where I live (Michigan, USA) my advice would be to NEVER call CPS when its your kids involved. You'll wind up investigated yourself by CPS for neglect and abuse of your children for leaving them with a nanny who was high / weird / had low blood sugar. Avoid the bureaucracy at all costs. Any concerns about your nanny should go through the administration of whatever agency recommended her. If THEY find out something's happened that is CPS-worthy, they'll do it themselves to get her on whatever watchlist or registry to prevent further contact with kids.
Also, this behavior isn't quite wacky enough without knowing for sure it was drug-induced.
posted by motsque at 12:56 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
Also, this behavior isn't quite wacky enough without knowing for sure it was drug-induced.
posted by motsque at 12:56 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
CPS isn't there to investigate nannies. They're there to investigate you.
posted by grouse at 1:26 PM on April 26, 2011 [11 favorites]
posted by grouse at 1:26 PM on April 26, 2011 [11 favorites]
Nthing the idea that this could be a bad day or a language barrier. I learned the French words for "week" and "year" in like, 1985, and I still consistently mess them up.
If you're uncomfortable, get a new nanny. But don't call CPS. And rocking a screaming child does sound like an attempt to comfort him...maybe you can clarify?
posted by corey flood at 1:48 PM on April 26, 2011
If you're uncomfortable, get a new nanny. But don't call CPS. And rocking a screaming child does sound like an attempt to comfort him...maybe you can clarify?
posted by corey flood at 1:48 PM on April 26, 2011
The way you've presented this is positively bizarre because you leave out crucial components of the story: when you came home to this situation, what did you do next? That is, did you ask her what she meant by "about four months" or more broadly if she was feeling OK? If you genuinely thought she was having a medical episode of some sort, presumably you offered her some sort of immediate assistance (water, lying down, etc.) or driving her to the ER?
Further, how did she respond to you? Was she calm or disoriented? Was she able to leave on her own or did you need to drive her yourself?
You're within your rights to get another nanny if you wish, of course (and yeah, leave CPS out of it, for the love of god!), but beyond that no one can say what happened because your story as presented isn't adequate to draw any meaningful conclusions.
posted by scody at 1:51 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
Further, how did she respond to you? Was she calm or disoriented? Was she able to leave on her own or did you need to drive her yourself?
You're within your rights to get another nanny if you wish, of course (and yeah, leave CPS out of it, for the love of god!), but beyond that no one can say what happened because your story as presented isn't adequate to draw any meaningful conclusions.
posted by scody at 1:51 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
You're leaving out a lot of details. What did the nanny say AFTER the weird "four months" comment? How did she act? What did your darling wife say in response to the "four months" comment? How was the meeting terminated -- did the nanny just walk out without a further word, did she depart in the normal way, did she say anything else about the child? Did your wife ask any other questions to pinpoint what was wrong?
Sorry, but something about your lack of details, the assumption of drug use, the quick reporting of the nanny to other people, strikes me as a little flippant on your part.
posted by jayder at 1:56 PM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]
Sorry, but something about your lack of details, the assumption of drug use, the quick reporting of the nanny to other people, strikes me as a little flippant on your part.
posted by jayder at 1:56 PM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]
Your wife walked in the door to the sounds of her baby screaming, and a brand new nanny. Your wife wasn't in any mood to joke around and she was probably very understandably upset. You don't "know" this nanny yet (first day on the job!) and this nanny doesn't know you. She may have been consoled as a child in this very way (being rocked on the floor) and thought it normal. She may have a dry sense of humor which she uses when she feels uncomfortable. It's an awkward situation all around and we don't have all the facts. But it doesn't sound like something you should report.
posted by iconomy at 2:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by iconomy at 2:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Until you *know* (and you may never know), please don't go reporting this woman to her references and/or other employers. You could cause some terrible hardships in her life and her future, plus messed up relationships with other friends and co-workers, all over a conclusion that seems very...shaky at best.
If you're not comfortable with her in your home, with your children, thats totally fine. You get the choice of who gets to be in your home and take care of your children and you don't even need a good reason to not want a specific person to do this. But don't destroy this woman's future job prospects over a poorly timed joke.
posted by ejazen at 2:05 PM on April 26, 2011
If you're not comfortable with her in your home, with your children, thats totally fine. You get the choice of who gets to be in your home and take care of your children and you don't even need a good reason to not want a specific person to do this. But don't destroy this woman's future job prospects over a poorly timed joke.
posted by ejazen at 2:05 PM on April 26, 2011
Response by poster: Ok, re-reading this and I can see where some of you are coming from - suffice to say I didn't post more details because I am looking after my son today and didn't get time to do a nice full detailed post earlier.
More details:
1) That was the only coherent thing that she said - My son apparently ate food by himself yesterday (he's not on solids) and there was much mumbling.
2) Pupils were fixed and dilated
3) Nanniy's pulse was racing
4) The mother of the other child that was being cared for is a Nurse Practitioner, came over immediately and believes that this was drug/medication related.
5) I was not here but Nanny had been in constant contact up til 12:30 and then nothing.
When taken home by said NP, the mother of Nanny said she was going to take her to the ER.
My concern is that even if this was a medical episode (as I did suggest it might be in my OP) then anything that would give rise to this should have been disclosed, no?
Yes we are looking for a new Nanny
M
posted by Metheglen at 2:47 PM on April 26, 2011
More details:
1) That was the only coherent thing that she said - My son apparently ate food by himself yesterday (he's not on solids) and there was much mumbling.
2) Pupils were fixed and dilated
3) Nanniy's pulse was racing
4) The mother of the other child that was being cared for is a Nurse Practitioner, came over immediately and believes that this was drug/medication related.
5) I was not here but Nanny had been in constant contact up til 12:30 and then nothing.
When taken home by said NP, the mother of Nanny said she was going to take her to the ER.
My concern is that even if this was a medical episode (as I did suggest it might be in my OP) then anything that would give rise to this should have been disclosed, no?
Yes we are looking for a new Nanny
M
posted by Metheglen at 2:47 PM on April 26, 2011
Speaking as a Professional Nanny - there's nothing to report. You got a dud nanny. End of story.
Tell her agency exactly what happened and why she wasn't a good fit. Don't tell them you think she was on drugs. (PS: If you are going through a decent agency, and I've done so, she's already had to pass a drug test, a criminal background check, and a full credit check. They'd check her DNA if they were legally able to do so. So, unless your agency sucks, your nanny was not on drugs.) Just say that it was weird and you don't want her back. After that, she's not your problem.
And maybe use a different agency for her replacement.
From your folllow-up: if she WAS on drugs, that's a big failure on the part of the agency and you should definitely report it to whoever is in charge there. Still, there's nothing for CPS to do in this situation - they're not really concerned with a nanny on drugs. They're more concerned with the parents who hire the nanny, as others have mentioned before.
PS: I have a medical condition and yes, have disclosed to every parent I've worked for. She should have done so, but there are some pretty valid reasons for not wanting to do so and/or wanting to wait - such as getting pre-emptively fired.
PPS: If you want any tips for hiring nannies to avoid this kind of thing in the future, MeMail me.
posted by sonika at 2:51 PM on April 26, 2011
Tell her agency exactly what happened and why she wasn't a good fit. Don't tell them you think she was on drugs. (PS: If you are going through a decent agency, and I've done so, she's already had to pass a drug test, a criminal background check, and a full credit check. They'd check her DNA if they were legally able to do so. So, unless your agency sucks, your nanny was not on drugs.) Just say that it was weird and you don't want her back. After that, she's not your problem.
And maybe use a different agency for her replacement.
From your folllow-up: if she WAS on drugs, that's a big failure on the part of the agency and you should definitely report it to whoever is in charge there. Still, there's nothing for CPS to do in this situation - they're not really concerned with a nanny on drugs. They're more concerned with the parents who hire the nanny, as others have mentioned before.
PS: I have a medical condition and yes, have disclosed to every parent I've worked for. She should have done so, but there are some pretty valid reasons for not wanting to do so and/or wanting to wait - such as getting pre-emptively fired.
PPS: If you want any tips for hiring nannies to avoid this kind of thing in the future, MeMail me.
posted by sonika at 2:51 PM on April 26, 2011
Thanks for the clarifications.
even if this was a medical episode (as I did suggest it might be in my OP) then anything that would give rise to this should have been disclosed, no?
Maybe this is the first time it happened? Not everyone with a medical condition knows about it when they apply for a job.
Honestly, it feels a little like your (totally understandable!) concern and distress is driving you to try "punish" someone or find some sort of official "well, that's THAT!" closure. But I don't think that's really realistic. You don't know whether she has a long history of seizures, or was having a bad reaction to a new prescription, or got stoned in the pantry. Report the situation to the agency, find another nanny (and even another agency, if you're not satisfied with the first agency's response), and -- I am not being flip here -- start getting over it.
posted by scody at 2:58 PM on April 26, 2011 [14 favorites]
even if this was a medical episode (as I did suggest it might be in my OP) then anything that would give rise to this should have been disclosed, no?
Maybe this is the first time it happened? Not everyone with a medical condition knows about it when they apply for a job.
Honestly, it feels a little like your (totally understandable!) concern and distress is driving you to try "punish" someone or find some sort of official "well, that's THAT!" closure. But I don't think that's really realistic. You don't know whether she has a long history of seizures, or was having a bad reaction to a new prescription, or got stoned in the pantry. Report the situation to the agency, find another nanny (and even another agency, if you're not satisfied with the first agency's response), and -- I am not being flip here -- start getting over it.
posted by scody at 2:58 PM on April 26, 2011 [14 favorites]
Nthing the concept of a VERY tough day for the nanny and you not getting the joke.
I didn't think of that when I made my first comment. Yes, that seems like a more reasonable explanation than any.
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:16 PM on April 26, 2011
I didn't think of that when I made my first comment. Yes, that seems like a more reasonable explanation than any.
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:16 PM on April 26, 2011
I still don't understand... What exactly happened after you got there and the nanny said the "four months" bit? Did you ask her any further questions? Did she answer? If so, how did she respond?
Did she leave? If so, how long after the conversation? By what means of transportation?
If we are to speculate on what might or might not have been going on with the nanny, it seems to me like we are going to need more of these details.
posted by Juffo-Wup at 3:18 PM on April 26, 2011
Did she leave? If so, how long after the conversation? By what means of transportation?
If we are to speculate on what might or might not have been going on with the nanny, it seems to me like we are going to need more of these details.
posted by Juffo-Wup at 3:18 PM on April 26, 2011
I'm sorry; I didn't read your previous response carefully enough - I see you actually did answer most of my questions. Oops!
posted by Juffo-Wup at 3:50 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by Juffo-Wup at 3:50 PM on April 26, 2011
Response by poster: So, all of this doesn't really answer the question
1) irrespective of what was going on with the Nanny, if you suspect that the Nanny is on drugs, and the situation is sufficient for you to fire your Nanny should you report them to CPS. Really, that's the question
2) We have just received her driving record - large numbers of DUI - this is something that should have been picked up by the Agency last week - there was apparently a "backlog" in vetting the new Nannies
3) We shouldn't really speculate on what may or may not have been going on to cause the behavior that my wife and the Nurse Practitioner saw. If it was a medical problem, then I hope that the Nanny is healthy, and she should have (had she known about it) disclosed it. If not a medical problem, then drugs is a reasonable explanation.
@sonika and @scody - thanks for constructive input. Very helpful
Marking this as Solved
posted by Metheglen at 3:52 PM on April 26, 2011
1) irrespective of what was going on with the Nanny, if you suspect that the Nanny is on drugs, and the situation is sufficient for you to fire your Nanny should you report them to CPS. Really, that's the question
2) We have just received her driving record - large numbers of DUI - this is something that should have been picked up by the Agency last week - there was apparently a "backlog" in vetting the new Nannies
3) We shouldn't really speculate on what may or may not have been going on to cause the behavior that my wife and the Nurse Practitioner saw. If it was a medical problem, then I hope that the Nanny is healthy, and she should have (had she known about it) disclosed it. If not a medical problem, then drugs is a reasonable explanation.
@sonika and @scody - thanks for constructive input. Very helpful
Marking this as Solved
posted by Metheglen at 3:52 PM on April 26, 2011
irrespective of what was going on with the Nanny, if you suspect that the Nanny is on drugs, and the situation is sufficient for you to fire your Nanny should you report them to CPS. Really, that's the question
The answer is no.
Glad we could help.
posted by grouse at 4:28 PM on April 26, 2011
The answer is no.
Glad we could help.
posted by grouse at 4:28 PM on April 26, 2011
if you suspect that the Nanny is on drugs, and the situation is sufficient for you to fire your Nanny should you report them to CPS
No. CPS doesn't generally have jurisdiction over temporary or hired caregivers, but over parents and legal guardians. If you make that call, she may get in trouble with the police--child endangerment is a crime regardless of who commits it--but CPS will be far more interested in you.
posted by valkyryn at 4:32 PM on April 26, 2011
No. CPS doesn't generally have jurisdiction over temporary or hired caregivers, but over parents and legal guardians. If you make that call, she may get in trouble with the police--child endangerment is a crime regardless of who commits it--but CPS will be far more interested in you.
posted by valkyryn at 4:32 PM on April 26, 2011
irrespective of what was going on with the Nanny, if you suspect that the Nanny is on drugs, and the situation is sufficient for you to fire your Nanny should you report them to CPS. Really, that's the question
Again, as a nanny - no. This is for the agency to handle, not you. Even if you hired her privately, firing her for cause is enough. CPS is more likely than not to investigate you if you make a claim and there's really nothing they can do about a nanny in the first place since nannies very often work under the table and there's no way to stop someone from hiring her.
As for point #2 - JESUS CHRIST. I'm appalled. Do not use this agency anymore. Make sure others know about this problem. No one with a DUI should be given a nanny gig without the parents knowing about it. Honestly, with the amount of screening I've had done before being hired in childcare, I'm just professionally aghast over here. "Backlog" or not, no nanny should be hired before she's had a complete background check. FOR EXACTLY THIS REASON.
posted by sonika at 4:33 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
Again, as a nanny - no. This is for the agency to handle, not you. Even if you hired her privately, firing her for cause is enough. CPS is more likely than not to investigate you if you make a claim and there's really nothing they can do about a nanny in the first place since nannies very often work under the table and there's no way to stop someone from hiring her.
As for point #2 - JESUS CHRIST. I'm appalled. Do not use this agency anymore. Make sure others know about this problem. No one with a DUI should be given a nanny gig without the parents knowing about it. Honestly, with the amount of screening I've had done before being hired in childcare, I'm just professionally aghast over here. "Backlog" or not, no nanny should be hired before she's had a complete background check. FOR EXACTLY THIS REASON.
posted by sonika at 4:33 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
Why would you report them to CPS? CPS is to investigate *parents* or *other permanent guardians* for child abuse—not nannies. And btw, if her pupils were actually fixed and dilated, she'd be unconscious or dead, not answering questions.
posted by Maias at 5:46 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Maias at 5:46 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
We have notified the agency that was doing our 3rd party vetting, and are also notifying her references.
I'm sorry, I don't understand the "notifying her references" part. Are you calling them up to see if they can shed some light on this? If not, what are you trying to do with this?
I would be extremely upset if I hired someone to watch my child and come home to the situation you describe. I don't blame you or your wife for wanting to take action in some way and try to "fix" this. But I hope you aren't trying to convince the people who gave her good references to take them back or anything. That's not really an honest way to go about this, if they actually had good experiences with her.
And I would never want anyone with even a single DUI watching my child, so I would definitely dump the agency that was supposed to be vetting this nanny for you!
posted by misha at 7:46 PM on April 26, 2011
I'm sorry, I don't understand the "notifying her references" part. Are you calling them up to see if they can shed some light on this? If not, what are you trying to do with this?
I would be extremely upset if I hired someone to watch my child and come home to the situation you describe. I don't blame you or your wife for wanting to take action in some way and try to "fix" this. But I hope you aren't trying to convince the people who gave her good references to take them back or anything. That's not really an honest way to go about this, if they actually had good experiences with her.
And I would never want anyone with even a single DUI watching my child, so I would definitely dump the agency that was supposed to be vetting this nanny for you!
posted by misha at 7:46 PM on April 26, 2011
Does your state license the agency that provided you with the nanny? If so, it's likely that they violated licensing requirements by failing to wait for completion of the background check before allowing the nanny to work. I recommend reporting the agency to the licensing authority for your state.
posted by kbar1 at 11:07 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by kbar1 at 11:07 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think the problem that needs to be reported is a nanny agency that is not doing full background checks before hiring people!
posted by radioamy at 8:08 AM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by radioamy at 8:08 AM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
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posted by jasondigitized at 11:57 AM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]