Nanny Time

April 26, 2011 11:12 AM

I'll be watching my friend's 1 year old for 6 hours a day (9-3), 5 days a week for the summer. I'll be bringing my 11 month old to her house. Our kids get along well and her place is well baby-proofed. I bought a double jogger and she bought an extra high chair and car seat. I've never dealt with two babies before and I need advice.

1. Suggestions for dealing with a double meltdown?
2. Advice for getting their naps synched?
3. Getting my kid to nap in a new place?
4. How about the fact that mine will be nursing and the other baby wants to nurse too?
5. How to ingratiate myself to a 1 year old?
6. What else am I forgetting?

posted by kristymcj to human relations (7 answers total)

Can't help you except with 5. Feed them, hold them and comfort them when they get upset or scared. Expect some separation anxiety, don't take it personally.
posted by the young rope-rider at 11:22 AM on April 26, 2011

1. It never lasts very long. Just keep repeating that while it's happening. It never lasts very long, it only feels like it.
2. At that age, it depends? If you're lucky you can just lay them both down at the same time. Oh that is special time when they both sleep at the same time. It's the best feeling in the world. Other than that, just keep trying if one is being a PITA. If you're lucky it'll happen fast, but by the time summer is over you'll have it perfect. Just in time to have it end :-)
3. At that age I doubt that it'll be a problem. If they fuss just let it go, they'll adjust quick.
4. Tell the other kid tough shit. It'll learn quick it's not to share.
5. SMILE
6. It never lasts very long, it only feels like it. The summer will be over in a blink of your eyes. Try and enjoy it? Let them crawl and explore. Get them on the same schedule as soon as possible. It's ok if they cry sometimes. It's ok if they get frustrated. They will be messy. dirty diapers will be nonstop. Go with the momentum as much as possible let them set the pace and what you do. You really can't have nice things or wear nice clothes. Expect thigns to be pretty random. Toys do nothing but take up space, they are a waste. Everything in the house is a toy, unless it's a toy. You will spend a stupid amount of time cleaning and just moving stuff around. You'll always travel with way too much stuff.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Good luck!
posted by Blake at 11:25 AM on April 26, 2011

1 - I have no idea.

2 and 3 Is there any possibility of getting your kid over to her place at nap time a few times before you'll be on your own with two there? Do that.

4 Discuss this with the other mother. Wet nurses exist for a reason. You two might decide you are comfortable with that situation. Another suggestion is pumping milk into a bottle for your kid to eat while you're babysitting.

5 Food. Cuddles.

6 I have no idea.
posted by bilabial at 11:29 AM on April 26, 2011

1. Take it one day at a time.
2. take it one day at a time.
3. Take it one day at a time.
4. Take it one day at a time.
5. take it one day at a time.

6. What a great idea! You're a good friend to share child care like this and I think you'll enjoy it. It'll be great for both kids who will get to spend time together and learn about things like sharing and jealousy. By the end of the summer, you'll have everything down perfectly.
posted by dchrssyr at 11:36 AM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

My kid is in a nanny share, albeit with a child nearly a year and a half younger than him.

However, based on my nanny share experience, I think that you'll want to think of these ideas:

- Try to get them to nap at the same time (I'd do 10am and 2pm) in different rooms. If your kid is going to be napping in a pack-n-play and is used to napping in a crib, it should be fine. (And in my experience, kids are cool with napping in new places after a few days).
- Try to get them to eat the same things at the same time.
- Have a system for dipes and wipes. (This might be easier on outings if they're roughly the same size - same with an extra set of clothing).
- I doubt that not-your-baby will view your boobies as "his" boobies, or at least that's been my experience.

Is not-your-baby used to caregivers outside of his/her parents? If not, Other Mom might want to hang with you guys for a few days before going full force in the new arrangement.

Otherwise, don't stress about it. It'll be fine.
posted by k8t at 11:47 AM on April 26, 2011

Until recently, my 1 year old was watched by a mom with a 9 month old - so I can give you these answers from the perspective of the "other" mom.

1. Suggestions for dealing with a double meltdown?
Loves, lots of loves. Do you have a sling? My nanny made use of the Ergo quite regularly. It makes it easy to hold and cuddle both babies at the same time. A ring sling would be convenient too.

2. Advice for getting their naps synched?
I don't think you need to do this... Wouldn't it be easier if they weren't synched? I should say though, that I do not believe in cry-it-out, and my kid needs someone to lay with him until he falls asleep or rock him to sleep. Our nanny held both babies in the rocker or let one play nearby while she rocked the other.

3. Getting my kid to nap in a new place?
It's only new for a little while, right? Your kid will adjust.

4. How about the fact that mine will be nursing and the other baby wants to nurse too?
I think my kid knew that, while he saw nanny's kid nursing, nanny nursing him was not an option. I think this was hard at first, but after we taught him the ASL sign for milk, it got a lot easier- he was able to sign when he wanted to nurse, and the nanny would bring him o my office (across the street from home). I know that not everyone has such proximity, so maybe providing pumped milk to your little charge when you nurse your child would help? Nursing is such a comfort thing- this is a tough one!

5. How to ingratiate myself to a 1 year old?
My kid s a big music lover. Our nanny played music for him and danced with him. He loved that! It became a little routine. Also, he loves "hats" (little weirdo), so nanny would find something to put on her head and say "Nanny's hat?" than put it on Kidlet's head and say "Kidlet's hat?" they could do this for an hour without getting tired of it. (ok, Kidlet didn't get tired of it...)

6. What else am I forgetting?
You will do fine. You obviously are going to this with a good attitude. As with everything, there will be a period of adjustment, but as soon as the routine is established, it will get much easier.
posted by LyndsayMW at 9:56 PM on April 26, 2011

I have been a nanny to both twin girls (starting at 4 months) and twin boys (starting at age 2).

Writing things down like time fed, amount fed, dirty/wet diapers was mandatory at one job and helped a lot.

The kids loved to play together, so there's that... they can kind of entertain each other while you're cleaning up from lunch, for example.

It took a while to learn how to, and get comfortable with, holding 2 babies at once. If they're crawling/walking, you probably won't have to worry much about it.

Double meltdowns were actually pretty rare for me. All you can really do is try to comfort and/or distract them.
posted by IndigoRain at 9:59 PM on April 26, 2011