Fat pills for the fatty
April 25, 2011 10:06 AM Subscribe
I suspect I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. My current psychiatrist is only treating me for Social Anxiety/selective mutism. During our first session he did not focus on what I consider to be the disorders causing me to remain homebound and avoidant of people.
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (13 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
He abruptly took me off the Zoloft (100 mg) my PCP and another psychiatrist from a psychiatric unit prescribed me, and he put me on two medications known to cause weight gain (Remeron and Paxil) even though I'm 100 lbs overweight and have hypothyroidism. Why? Because I checked that I've been experiencing "unintended weight loss" and "a decrease in appetite" on the form and told him probably very inarticulately on paper about my unconventional sleeping habits (I sleep during the day and feel my most energetic at night).
I took the medication for almost a week, overslept not only in the day but also in the night, felt extremely anxious about gaining back the weight I lost, and eventually flushed the medication down the toilet after I gained 5 lbs. I also read other people's experience on these medications, which did not help. For the first time in months I cried like a baby and thought about giving up.
The question: How do I tell my seemingly anti-Zoloft psychiatrist I refused to take these medications and that I want to give Zoloft another try with his current Klonopin dose?
I'm realizing the benefits of Zoloft since he took me off of it. I regret stupidly telling him I didn't notice much of a benefit taking Zoloft except that I was more abrasive with family members, which, now that I think back on it, was probably a good thing for me. Since I'm no longer on Zoloft I'm also starting to realize I wasn't suicidally depressed about my physical defects, even though I still had intrusive thoughts about them and thought about plastic surgery often. I also didn't experience a decrease* or increase in appetite or any other adverse side effects from taking the medication. However, I was still a selective mute and mildly anxious, but I believe with the proper dose of Klonopin with Zoloft I'd be able to talk.
I'm too ashamed to go back in two weeks. I'm also contemplating not taking the Klonopin as well only because I'm worried he'll think I'm a substance abuser and only went to him for the Klonopin. I was falsely accused of abusing Klonopin and alcohol in January (I wasn't) because an ARNP volunteering at a then not-for-profit organization took an e-mail of mine out of context. I told her I was depressed about the organization losing their funding and that I couldn't afford future counseling sessions, thus leaving me back where I started: homebound and friendless. I agreed to go to "the hospital" anyway because at the time I didn't have insurance and the organization led me to believe my sibling and I would get the medical attention we needed while we were in the psychiatric unit getting our medication properly adjusted. They also told us they'd take our counselors away if we didn't comply, so I felt I had no choice. Let's just say we didn't go to a facility that could give us medical treatment and leave it at that. I hate telling the story. The whole experience was absolutely traumatic for reasons I'd rather nor delve into and it, the false reputation, continues to haunt me every time I see a doctor or psychiatrist. Fortunately, my PCP is finally starting to believe I'm not a substance abuser, which is why I don't want to take the Klonopin when I'm not taking the other medication the psychiatrist prescribed me. I want to keep her trust.
I don't know what to do. I know I'm making a mistake. Should I just go to my PCP, explain the situation, and ask her to re-fill my Zoloft prescription?
*I was already intuitively eating a lot of protein a month prior to taking Zoloft. This would explain the decrease in appetite.