How do I deal with an expectation of perfection at work while receiving little constructive feedback?
April 16, 2011 1:14 PM Subscribe
How do I deal with an expectation of perfection at work while receiving little constructive feedback?
I'm a relatively junior attorney working at a large law firm. I work in a small group (5 lawyers), and most of my work product goes directly to clients after one of my 3 bosses reviews it. For various reasons, law firms have a culture where perfection is demanded, even if that's not reasonable to expect from a junior associate. This is compounded in my situation because my work goes directly to the clients (rather than being incorporated into a brief, or doing other work that isn't directly sent out into the world as work product).
The problem is that while my bosses are generally very friendly, reasonable, and cordial, I'm becoming very frustrated when I receive negative feedback, especially from one boss. The feedback often comes in the form of "You should have/needed to consider X." The problem being that you learn by experience, and how do you know to consider X when you've never had to confront that issue before?
I'm comfortable with not being perfect, doing my best, and trying to learn from everything, but I'm getting very frustrated with the constant expectation that I be better at my job than I am. This feeling mostly comes from one of my bosses, but it has put me into a cloud over the last couple of months and has made work not very fun for me. My performance reviews have all deemed my work either satisfactory or as exceeding expectations.
For what it's worth, I've pretty much loved my job for the first two years I've been working there. I like who I'm working with, my clients, and the work itself is varied and stimulating, which is much more than I can reasonably expect from the junior associate experience. How can I deal with these expectations of perfection and not let them spoil all the good parts about my job?
Anonymous because my username is very distinctive and shares part of my real name.
I'm a relatively junior attorney working at a large law firm. I work in a small group (5 lawyers), and most of my work product goes directly to clients after one of my 3 bosses reviews it. For various reasons, law firms have a culture where perfection is demanded, even if that's not reasonable to expect from a junior associate. This is compounded in my situation because my work goes directly to the clients (rather than being incorporated into a brief, or doing other work that isn't directly sent out into the world as work product).
The problem is that while my bosses are generally very friendly, reasonable, and cordial, I'm becoming very frustrated when I receive negative feedback, especially from one boss. The feedback often comes in the form of "You should have/needed to consider X." The problem being that you learn by experience, and how do you know to consider X when you've never had to confront that issue before?
I'm comfortable with not being perfect, doing my best, and trying to learn from everything, but I'm getting very frustrated with the constant expectation that I be better at my job than I am. This feeling mostly comes from one of my bosses, but it has put me into a cloud over the last couple of months and has made work not very fun for me. My performance reviews have all deemed my work either satisfactory or as exceeding expectations.
For what it's worth, I've pretty much loved my job for the first two years I've been working there. I like who I'm working with, my clients, and the work itself is varied and stimulating, which is much more than I can reasonably expect from the junior associate experience. How can I deal with these expectations of perfection and not let them spoil all the good parts about my job?
Anonymous because my username is very distinctive and shares part of my real name.
The feedback often comes in the form of "You should have/needed to consider X." The problem being that you learn by experience, and how do you know to consider X when you've never had to confront that issue before?
Some people just don't phrase things well when giving feedback. From what I know of law firms, the culture is usually not especially cuddly. I'm not saying that's ok, but maybe that's why this boss phrases it like that? Maybe all he means is, "Good job, but you should consider X next time." He thinks he's helping you learn, you think he's yelling at you?
I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, but given the fact you are getting positive performance reviews, maybe you can try to interpret this feedback as just feedback, and not a personal attack on you?
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:40 PM on April 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
Some people just don't phrase things well when giving feedback. From what I know of law firms, the culture is usually not especially cuddly. I'm not saying that's ok, but maybe that's why this boss phrases it like that? Maybe all he means is, "Good job, but you should consider X next time." He thinks he's helping you learn, you think he's yelling at you?
I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, but given the fact you are getting positive performance reviews, maybe you can try to interpret this feedback as just feedback, and not a personal attack on you?
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:40 PM on April 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
To a certain extent you have simply described the culture of both of the high performing firms I worked for (one a global top five, the other a highly regarded boutique). If your performance reviews are positive you're doing the business. It wasn't for me so I found vastly less lucrative pastures new but don't kid yourself that there's going to be much pastoral support or on the job training when there's 2,000+ billable hours to be found every year.
Consider asking more experienced associates to look at or talk through with you your final-ish draft but otherwise you are learning by experience.
posted by dmt at 1:42 PM on April 16, 2011
Consider asking more experienced associates to look at or talk through with you your final-ish draft but otherwise you are learning by experience.
posted by dmt at 1:42 PM on April 16, 2011
Please don't take this the wrong way, but most BigLaw attorneys I've worked with regard first- and second-year associates as pretty much useless. The most charitable answer is that no one is actually expecting perfection of you, and that they are providing feedback as a way for you to escape the uselessness that is a junior associate.
It was not until my third year of practice that I was not shocked -- SHOCKED -- that any client would actually pay the rate that I was billed out at. As someone who's supervised junior associates, my own expectation was that almost everything would need major revision before getting in front of a judge or a client. I have passed on a (very good) summer associate memo to a client WITHOUT CHARGING FOR IT and with full disclosure that it was not as polished as our normal work product but that it was laying the ground for future analysis/work and would providing a good jumping off point for discussion. But honestly, most of it is crap and everyone knows it.
If first-year work is being submitted to a client without lots of scrutiny -- well, first, congratulations, you're at a BigLaw firm that gives junior associates great client exposure, which is the exception and not the rule. Trust me, your client knows you're a first-year or second-year (they see it on their bills) and despite your astronomical billing rate, they should NOT have illusions that you're ready to argue that summary judgment motion.
Anyone who HONESTLY expects perfection from a first- or second-year associate is an idiot and would be instantly called on that his partners. Your evaluations (all good) demonstrate that perfection was NOT the standard you were being evaluated on.
It sounds like you're having issues with ONE partner. Congratulations, you've pleased the other partners you've worked for, and the one partner that you have issues with has not dinged you on evaluations. IN fact, he might think you're doing stellar work. If he didn't think you were doing stellar work, he is either asleep at the switch, or would be re-doing his staffing.
It is unclear to me how big your "misses" are. It may be that the partner that is giving you problems is just providing feedback in an aggressive way. I had a partner who would hand me back drafts of my briefs coated in red ink, but that was one of the most productive mentoring experiences I ever had (and my writing is much better for it).
Be VERY HAPPY that a partner is giving you feedback at all. There are several partners I've worked with who don't give meaningful feedback to junior associates, and just stop giving 'em work when they're dissatisfied. It sounds like you might understand that this sort of feedback is the way to learn the practice of law, and that you are more troubled by the manner of feedback. In short, perhaps this one partner is an asshole.
It should come as no surprise -- there are lots of BigLaw partners who are assholes, and who suck at mentoring junior associates. You have survived two years in BigLaw, which is SAYING A LOT in this economy. Presumably, you have identified partners who you like working with, and who like your work. Cultivate those relationships and, to the extent you are able, get more work from those people rather than the person who's giving you issues.
tl; dr. Your boss is an asshole. Don't let it get you down.
posted by QuantumMeruit at 1:44 PM on April 16, 2011 [5 favorites]
It was not until my third year of practice that I was not shocked -- SHOCKED -- that any client would actually pay the rate that I was billed out at. As someone who's supervised junior associates, my own expectation was that almost everything would need major revision before getting in front of a judge or a client. I have passed on a (very good) summer associate memo to a client WITHOUT CHARGING FOR IT and with full disclosure that it was not as polished as our normal work product but that it was laying the ground for future analysis/work and would providing a good jumping off point for discussion. But honestly, most of it is crap and everyone knows it.
If first-year work is being submitted to a client without lots of scrutiny -- well, first, congratulations, you're at a BigLaw firm that gives junior associates great client exposure, which is the exception and not the rule. Trust me, your client knows you're a first-year or second-year (they see it on their bills) and despite your astronomical billing rate, they should NOT have illusions that you're ready to argue that summary judgment motion.
Anyone who HONESTLY expects perfection from a first- or second-year associate is an idiot and would be instantly called on that his partners. Your evaluations (all good) demonstrate that perfection was NOT the standard you were being evaluated on.
It sounds like you're having issues with ONE partner. Congratulations, you've pleased the other partners you've worked for, and the one partner that you have issues with has not dinged you on evaluations. IN fact, he might think you're doing stellar work. If he didn't think you were doing stellar work, he is either asleep at the switch, or would be re-doing his staffing.
It is unclear to me how big your "misses" are. It may be that the partner that is giving you problems is just providing feedback in an aggressive way. I had a partner who would hand me back drafts of my briefs coated in red ink, but that was one of the most productive mentoring experiences I ever had (and my writing is much better for it).
Be VERY HAPPY that a partner is giving you feedback at all. There are several partners I've worked with who don't give meaningful feedback to junior associates, and just stop giving 'em work when they're dissatisfied. It sounds like you might understand that this sort of feedback is the way to learn the practice of law, and that you are more troubled by the manner of feedback. In short, perhaps this one partner is an asshole.
It should come as no surprise -- there are lots of BigLaw partners who are assholes, and who suck at mentoring junior associates. You have survived two years in BigLaw, which is SAYING A LOT in this economy. Presumably, you have identified partners who you like working with, and who like your work. Cultivate those relationships and, to the extent you are able, get more work from those people rather than the person who's giving you issues.
tl; dr. Your boss is an asshole. Don't let it get you down.
posted by QuantumMeruit at 1:44 PM on April 16, 2011 [5 favorites]
how do you know to consider X when you've never had to confront that issue before?
But how will you know to consider X next time unless he tells you this time? Also, do you revise these documents based on the feedback before they are sent out? If so, how would you know what to fix without this kind of feedback? I'm with drjimmy11 in saying that this feedback, if it's no harsher than you've presented here, isn't meant to be destructive but is intended to be constructive, even if it's coming across in a less-than-subtle way.
Of course we would all like to work with people who start with something positive before getting into the negative and then doing so in a gentle way ("Your understanding of Issue 4 is really strong, but you need to consider sub-issue x next time"), but that takes more time to give and may leave you focused on the positive part more than on fixing the negative part.
posted by BlooPen at 2:31 PM on April 16, 2011 [4 favorites]
But how will you know to consider X next time unless he tells you this time? Also, do you revise these documents based on the feedback before they are sent out? If so, how would you know what to fix without this kind of feedback? I'm with drjimmy11 in saying that this feedback, if it's no harsher than you've presented here, isn't meant to be destructive but is intended to be constructive, even if it's coming across in a less-than-subtle way.
Of course we would all like to work with people who start with something positive before getting into the negative and then doing so in a gentle way ("Your understanding of Issue 4 is really strong, but you need to consider sub-issue x next time"), but that takes more time to give and may leave you focused on the positive part more than on fixing the negative part.
posted by BlooPen at 2:31 PM on April 16, 2011 [4 favorites]
This comes across to me as poor phrasing of feedback - especially if you're getting good reviews. Even if you're experienced in a profession, other people who are also experienced are likely going to be able to provide criticisms and improvements to your work. Sounds like the one partner is being a bit cruel in his phrasing perhaps, but I think in any professional field, having work reviewed by other professionals and receiving feedback and areas from improvement is pretty expected.
So the take-away from that is not to expect to have work go through without others having others catch something that could be better, regardless of your experience level.
That plus one of your bosses sucks at giving feedback in a kind way.
posted by Diplodocus at 2:31 PM on April 16, 2011
So the take-away from that is not to expect to have work go through without others having others catch something that could be better, regardless of your experience level.
That plus one of your bosses sucks at giving feedback in a kind way.
posted by Diplodocus at 2:31 PM on April 16, 2011
Things that have worked for me in a similar situation:
* Talking to a mentor. Mentor may or may not work at my firm.
* Learning my boss's history with subordinates, and getting stronger at the things she was worried about from her past experience.
* Learning my boss's style via gossip with colleagues, so I could know whether she was treating me differently than she treated similar subordinates.
* Coming to her proactively with questions, and specifically asking her what she thought of certain sections of my work (which she hadn't already commented on), which usually got "this is fine". Sparingly, of course, but enough to calibrate by.
* During performance evaluations, asking her for suggestions on how to improve my performance. This gave me tips, but also gave her the understanding that I was receptive to constructive criticism, which (I believe) caused her to generally regard me more positively and improved our working relationship.
posted by brainwane at 3:54 PM on April 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
* Talking to a mentor. Mentor may or may not work at my firm.
* Learning my boss's history with subordinates, and getting stronger at the things she was worried about from her past experience.
* Learning my boss's style via gossip with colleagues, so I could know whether she was treating me differently than she treated similar subordinates.
* Coming to her proactively with questions, and specifically asking her what she thought of certain sections of my work (which she hadn't already commented on), which usually got "this is fine". Sparingly, of course, but enough to calibrate by.
* During performance evaluations, asking her for suggestions on how to improve my performance. This gave me tips, but also gave her the understanding that I was receptive to constructive criticism, which (I believe) caused her to generally regard me more positively and improved our working relationship.
posted by brainwane at 3:54 PM on April 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
The feedback often comes in the form of "You should have/needed to consider X."
If this is being delivered calmly, then this is feedback, albeit not as cuddly as you'd like.
If he or she is ripping a strip off of you and bitching that the client is upset by X, then you need to figure out how you can get feedback before sending work to the client.
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:50 PM on April 16, 2011
If this is being delivered calmly, then this is feedback, albeit not as cuddly as you'd like.
If he or she is ripping a strip off of you and bitching that the client is upset by X, then you need to figure out how you can get feedback before sending work to the client.
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:50 PM on April 16, 2011
Junior associate here as well. "You should have considered X" means that you should have considered X, or at least that the partner wanted you to consider X.
Not to sound harsh, but what exactly is your problem here? You're receiving positive feedback and you're receiving constructive feedback -- if they don't tell you that you should have considered X, how are you supposed to learn from that for next time? (It doesn't actually make a difference it if was your mistake or just the partner's idiosyncratic preference.)
So basically, my advice is to stop taking constructive feedback personally.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:26 PM on April 16, 2011
Not to sound harsh, but what exactly is your problem here? You're receiving positive feedback and you're receiving constructive feedback -- if they don't tell you that you should have considered X, how are you supposed to learn from that for next time? (It doesn't actually make a difference it if was your mistake or just the partner's idiosyncratic preference.)
So basically, my advice is to stop taking constructive feedback personally.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:26 PM on April 16, 2011
I work in a different industry but for similar bosses. They very, very rarely spend time on positive feedback when reviewing junior employees' written reports, I think because (at least from their point of view) it's not necessary -- if you're doing it right, you're doing it right, so why waste time on it? The negative feedback is required so (a) the work product gets corrected, and (b) the employee doesn't make the same mistake next time. It sounds like your bosses may have a similar thing going on.
Getting only the negative feedback is pretty brutal on employees, but I don't think they see that -- I think they're just trying to get the report reviewed as quickly as possible and get on to the next thing. It's nothing personal. The way I dealt with it was by finding other things about my work to feel good about.
Related story: one of my bosses (a former lawyer, as it happens) was known for being a brutal reviewer. Right after I started, I was getting pretty discouraged by getting everything back covered in red pen. Until the day I was sent to update one of his reports, and got to hand in an only-slightly updated version of his original report. I figured THAT report was safe.
But no. It came back every bit as shredded as my reports were. Once I saw that, I was able to stop taking the shredded reports personally. I learned a hell of a lot from him.
posted by pie ninja at 6:38 PM on April 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Getting only the negative feedback is pretty brutal on employees, but I don't think they see that -- I think they're just trying to get the report reviewed as quickly as possible and get on to the next thing. It's nothing personal. The way I dealt with it was by finding other things about my work to feel good about.
Related story: one of my bosses (a former lawyer, as it happens) was known for being a brutal reviewer. Right after I started, I was getting pretty discouraged by getting everything back covered in red pen. Until the day I was sent to update one of his reports, and got to hand in an only-slightly updated version of his original report. I figured THAT report was safe.
But no. It came back every bit as shredded as my reports were. Once I saw that, I was able to stop taking the shredded reports personally. I learned a hell of a lot from him.
posted by pie ninja at 6:38 PM on April 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
The feedback often comes in the form of "You should have/needed to consider X." The problem being that you learn by experience, and how do you know to consider X when you've never had to confront that issue before?
You don't, which is exactly why you're being told now that having done so was actually necessary.
Next time you get one of these, just do a tiny reframe: for each occurrence of "you should have", substitute "if you'd had more experience, you would have". Then, next time, do.
You're new at this, so expect "next time" to remain distant until your breadth of experience has grown some. Keep good notes.
I'm getting very frustrated with the constant expectation that I be better at my job than I am
You might benefit from internalizing the expectation, and leaving the feelings of frustration to those who are required to spend time helping juniors acquire competence when what they actually need is already-competent help.
It seems to me that the actual problem here is having three bosses in the first place. Make an internal political decision about which of them you actually work for, and then concentrate on keeping that one sweet. Because you're new at this, there's a fair chance you'll get that decision wrong as well; but at least nobody will be hounding you about that.
posted by flabdablet at 8:58 PM on April 16, 2011
You don't, which is exactly why you're being told now that having done so was actually necessary.
Next time you get one of these, just do a tiny reframe: for each occurrence of "you should have", substitute "if you'd had more experience, you would have". Then, next time, do.
You're new at this, so expect "next time" to remain distant until your breadth of experience has grown some. Keep good notes.
I'm getting very frustrated with the constant expectation that I be better at my job than I am
You might benefit from internalizing the expectation, and leaving the feelings of frustration to those who are required to spend time helping juniors acquire competence when what they actually need is already-competent help.
It seems to me that the actual problem here is having three bosses in the first place. Make an internal political decision about which of them you actually work for, and then concentrate on keeping that one sweet. Because you're new at this, there's a fair chance you'll get that decision wrong as well; but at least nobody will be hounding you about that.
posted by flabdablet at 8:58 PM on April 16, 2011
Oh, boy, have I been in your shoes. I'm going to tell you what finally helped me, even though it's a little harsh.
There comes a time in your professional life (especially if you are in a relatively competitive, high-stakes field) when people are going to stop patting you on the ass. It doesn't mean that you're not doing a good job for where you are in your career, but it means that you're at the point where you're expected to get serious about learning what's really ultimately expected of you, not what's expected of you as a student/beginner/intern/whatever. It's a tough spot to be in, especially if you're someone who is used to a lot of praise. But it's transitory, and being in an environment where people are honest and straightforward about it will be so much more productive than one where the ass-patting continues indefinitely.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 12:54 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
There comes a time in your professional life (especially if you are in a relatively competitive, high-stakes field) when people are going to stop patting you on the ass. It doesn't mean that you're not doing a good job for where you are in your career, but it means that you're at the point where you're expected to get serious about learning what's really ultimately expected of you, not what's expected of you as a student/beginner/intern/whatever. It's a tough spot to be in, especially if you're someone who is used to a lot of praise. But it's transitory, and being in an environment where people are honest and straightforward about it will be so much more productive than one where the ass-patting continues indefinitely.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 12:54 AM on April 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
So, assuming these expectations aren't simple, fundamental expectations that are part of the job - but rather more specific ones, it's now in your hands to make your own expectations clear and ask for what you want.
Ask this boss to let you know what their expectations are in relation to specific projects. If you don't ask for that, you're doing the same thing they are: holding unvoiced expectations and then being disappointed when they aren't met.
posted by jardinier at 1:28 PM on April 16, 2011 [1 favorite]