help me dress my sister-in-law

April 4, 2011 7:17 AM

searching for a gown with sleeves for a wedding.

my sister-in-law's brother is getting married in may and she is having trouble finding a dress to wear to the wedding. it has to have some sort of sleeve (cap-sleeved is fine), which would be easy enough to find if it didn't also have to be a floor-length gown!
she would rather not wear a jacket or shawl, since she would have to keep it on the whole night, but would be open to tailoring and adding sleeves if it wouldn't look too obvious.
she's already tried macy's, l&t, bloomy's, etc. we're in NYC and open to online shopping as well!
have you seen a dress that fits the description? send it over! know where to shop? send us over!

posted by sabh to Shopping (20 answers total)

Have you seen this question?
posted by runningwithscissors at 7:23 AM on April 4, 2011

In wedding dresses, you're not going to find much with sleeves. Online, your best bet is to search for "modest wedding dress"; there's a whole market, tailored specifically to Mormon brides, that has some pretty nice stuff. Beyond that, it's probably best to find what you want in the regular wedding boutique and have a sleeve added. Or you could wear a lace bolero- it's not as warm as a jacket/shawl, so it won't feel odd to wear it all night.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:23 AM on April 4, 2011

Response by poster: thanks for the links, but i think my question was confusing; looking for the sister of the groom, not the bride. so it's not a wedding dress, just a dress to wear to the wedding.
posted by sabh at 7:34 AM on April 4, 2011

Best answer: Oh boy, shopping for wedding clothes. I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS A LOT LATELY.

Consider straight up going to a tailor first off. If you're shorter than about 5'11", your hem will need to be brought up in most dresses you buy, or consider buying a dress with way more train than you really want- for the material. Some makers will also sell you cuts of material from your dyelot- but this is often $$$.
If it's a fair amount of material cut off from removing a train or a significant hem shortening, they can usually make some kind of cap sleeve or wide strap for you. (I don't have this problem, sadly- I'm 6'1" and I needed every inch of length they come with!)

Another option is to go Etsy. I particularly like this seller's work, and this is a sleeved dress. She also does custom work, or changes to posted designs.
I haven't worked with her, but all of her reviews seem to be good- and I would really like to order my dress through her. :>

As an additional thought, if her ceremony is going to be kind of simple, she might look for bridesmaids dresses. Many of them come in more conservative styles, cost less, and look just as nice.
posted by Hwin at 7:34 AM on April 4, 2011

Best answer: If I understand the OP correctly, I don't think their sister-in-law is the one getting married, so a traditional white dress is not what they're looking for.

OP: Although I'm sure you would have mentioned it, is she plus sized? You might have luck at Eliza Parker . Lots of dresses with sleeves there.
posted by Juniper Toast at 7:36 AM on April 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, my reward for not previewing. My next suggestion would be eShakti or the like- but that may take longer than they have.

Additionally, does it have to be a dress? Consider a nice blouse and skirt or slacks. I have more than once attended weddings in such attire, and it was more than appropriate.
posted by Hwin at 7:39 AM on April 4, 2011

My friend who had orthodox weddings to go to bought a couple of returnable dresses she liked, brought then to a recommended seamstress, and consulted about which ones would be best to add sleeves. That's really the most straightforward way to go, nowadays. You can look for the perfects shrug like thing but then you have to get lucky on two pieces that match and don't break the bank.
posted by Salamandrous at 7:41 AM on April 4, 2011

Also, if it is a communal standards issue (as opposed to her personal preference), even somewhat more obviously 'added' sleeves will likely fit right in with the crowd.
posted by Salamandrous at 7:43 AM on April 4, 2011

The proper term escapes me... I once wore fancy long "arm warmers" with such a formal dress. Sort of like long "fingerless gloves" but they had no hand coverage, they ended at the wrist with an elegant little point over the back of the hand. The tops pulled up to just beneath the cap sleeve/standaway portrait neckline and looked like part of the dress, but could be easily removed and tucked into a tiny purse when the dancing heated up. Maybe something like that could accessorize the right dress...
posted by FuzzyVerde at 7:43 AM on April 4, 2011

Response by poster: thanks for all of the tips so far! i love etsy, though i've never bought clothes there, but i'll browse dresses when i have more time after work!
i'm afraid pants won't be appropriate for the same reason sleeves are necessary.
not plus-sized. but short(er than 5'11"), so making sleeves out of the hem is a good idea.
posted by sabh at 7:56 AM on April 4, 2011

This one from Shabby Apple could be dressed up with jewelry or a scarf but only comes in black or camel.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:23 AM on April 4, 2011

Modest bridesmaid dresses and prom dresses.

Don't let the bridesmaid word fool you, they're all really cute dresses and not necessarily bridesmaidy or even that formal (especially the last couple of pages).
posted by elsietheeel at 8:30 AM on April 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure how fancy she wants to go but here are sleeves.
posted by stormpooper at 8:32 AM on April 4, 2011

Aria has wedding separates where she could mix and match to get floor length with sleeves. She could also select the fabric and color.
posted by statsgirl at 9:34 AM on April 4, 2011

Best answer: OK, I just totally procrastinated on Bluefly. Most of these are either brown, copper, or black, and none are cheap, but they're all pretty.

First
Second
Third
Fourth
Fifth (OK, that one's really expensive)
Sixth
Seventh

Also, I don't know if Zappo's has fancy enough dresses, but you can search by sleeve length.
posted by kestrel251 at 10:10 AM on April 4, 2011

I came to recommend LatterDay Bride too. The dresses are surprisingly pretty and chic.
posted by wandering_not_lost at 12:22 PM on April 4, 2011

Response by poster: thank you all!!
kestrel - those are great, and the prices aren't too bad! i wish they had more colorful choices, though. i'm going to look through zappos now. i'm a big fan for shoes.
i will send all of these over to the sis-in-law.
if you have any more ideas, keep 'em coming!
posted by sabh at 1:46 PM on April 4, 2011

Try Nordstrom. They have at least half a dozen floor-length gowns with sleeves. The search term that's most helpful here is "mother of the bride".
posted by timeo danaos at 5:49 PM on April 4, 2011

Best answer: I searched ShopStyle for "sleeves" in the Clothing > Dresses > Evening category. There are an annoying number of short dresses in the "evening" category for some reason, so you'll have to weed those out, but there are still several possibilities.

If your sister-in-law has the patience for it, she could join a discount shopping club like ideeli or Gilt Groupe and keep an eye on their offerings for a couple weeks. I bought a cap-sleeved evening gown (from JS Collections) for a wedding from one of those sites, and I see formalwear come up pretty frequently on their sales.
posted by Orinda at 6:56 PM on April 4, 2011

Best answer: p.s. There's a good number of non-white, evening-length gowns filed under the "bridal" category at ShopStyle, too.
posted by Orinda at 7:18 PM on April 4, 2011