Fat legs in a short dress: FatshionFilter

April 3, 2011 3:29 PM

I'm attending a wedding in 3 months (late June) for which I have been asked by the bride to wear a specific short dress. It's actually very cute - black, sparkly - and is flattering on me in every way except that, well, it's short. And I have fat, pale legs. I'll be wearing nude high heels, but besides that, how can I make my lump gams appear nicer? Quick-fix exercises? Spray tans? Tights/stockings are not an option.
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (33 answers total)

Spray or self tan for sure.
But if you are able to switch to black shoes you could wear sheer black hose -- in the opinion of this very white-legged person, the best way to make yourself feel comfy in a short skirt.
posted by mmf at 3:33 PM on April 3, 2011

Highest heels possible and either spray tan or tanning lotion (the good stuff that doesn't look orange).
posted by amro at 3:33 PM on April 3, 2011

Moisturizing every day for the next few months, and exfoliating occasionally, can go a long way to making your legs look better. Tanning (either with spray tan or with self tanning lotion) also really helps.

But also - how certain are you that stocking are not an option? Its possible to find extremely sheer skin tone nylons that no one will even notice (but that will make your legs looks nice and smooth.) If you're worried about wearing them with open toe shoes, there are open toe stockings.
posted by Kololo at 3:35 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love me some Jergens Natural Glow!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:35 PM on April 3, 2011 [7 favorites]

Oh, also: a couple days before, start doing things to ensure your legs aren't puffier than they need to be by ensuring you're shedding water weight. Cut out salt, drink lots of water, sip lots of peppermint tea (my favourite non-caffeinated non-medicinal diuretic.)
posted by Kololo at 3:37 PM on April 3, 2011

If stockings aren't an option because of the bride, I'd explain the problem to her and ask if you can wear nude, sheer stockings. Hopefully she's not a bridezilla and will care about her bridesmaids' comfort.
posted by Mavri at 3:42 PM on April 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

I don't know if it's available where you are, but here in Australia we have Johnson's Holiday Skin Body Lotion. I'm a very fair-skinned redhead and if I want my legs to get some colour (which gives the appearance of them being a bit slimmer), I use this for a week or two. It stinks on application but I find it's a good moisturiser for my skin with the added benefit of gradually adding a light tan.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 3:42 PM on April 3, 2011

Are you in the bridal party or are you just a guest?
posted by tel3path at 3:44 PM on April 3, 2011

Seconding Kololo's suggestion to revisit the possibility of good-quality sheer nude stockings to smooth things out.
posted by desuetude at 3:55 PM on April 3, 2011

Nthing fake tan, but not too much if you're pale. Also try your dress on with Spanx, even if you don't feel you need them. They can have a way of making you stand taller with better posture, which would certainly have a positive effect on how your legs look.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 3:55 PM on April 3, 2011

if you decide to go with nylons, Hanes Silk Reflections are really quite amazing. I'd go for a darkish tan, which will slim your legs and they are firm and glossy which will make you look very smooth.
posted by supermedusa at 4:06 PM on April 3, 2011

sorry didnt see stockings N-A-O
posted by supermedusa at 4:07 PM on April 3, 2011

Lots of great suggestions re. fake tan and stockings, but three months is also enough time for exercise to make a discernible difference. Do you bike? Could you take it up and commute or something so you'd be forced to bike every day? Failing this spin classes would be a good substitute. Also lunges. Particularly dynamic lunge exchanges. You'll feel much better about your legs even if the aesthetic difference doesn't end up being particularly substantial.
posted by Go Banana at 4:10 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

As a fellow fat- and pale-legged person, I've found lunges, squats, calf raises and lots and lots of walking can add some muscle to make my legs appear a little more shapely, rather than lumpy. And nthing the exfoliation, moisturizing and judicious application of fake tan.
posted by MadamM at 4:20 PM on April 3, 2011

I was also coming by to suggest lunges, self-tanner (good quality stuff, and don't go too dark), and the highest heels you can tolerate. (Buy them now, walk around in them as often as possible.)
posted by thinkingwoman at 4:26 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

three months is also enough time for exercise to make a discernible difference

Exactly! In this amount of time you can have very noticeable results. I suggest weight-training. Weight training is going to burn calories and make your legs look more taut and toned. Lunges, squats, etc.

Cut back on all refined carbs. Take the stairs whenever possible. If you're really serious do some High-intensity-interval-training.

Some DVD options are:

Jackie Warner X-treme Timesaver

Atletica


If you're interested you can watch clips of both videos, and others, here.

Don't do pure cardio, like walking on a treadmill. Use weights. Good luck.
posted by Fairchild at 4:27 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

pilates is excellent for quick results and defining lean muscles. Pilates on Fifth is a studio in NYC that also releases free podcasts and workouts via their website - fantastic for a quick fix workout!
posted by AthenaPolias at 4:29 PM on April 3, 2011 [4 favorites]

Tell the bride that you don't want to wear this dress?

(I'm serious about this answer. If you're just attending the wedding, and you're not in it, it's really not her business what you're wearing.)
posted by madcaptenor at 4:35 PM on April 3, 2011 [8 favorites]

Air Stocking, if you can find it, is awesome. It's like a light foundation for your legs.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:41 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wait...if you're "attending" the wedding...then the bride doesn't get to make your fashion choices. If the dress is too short, have it altered to be the right length.

Even if you're in the bridal party, you should have the leeway to make the dress fit you correctly, and in your case, that means a longer skirt. That's ok. She wouldn't make someone who had DDD boobs try to wear a tube top. It's the same thing. It may be her wedding, but you have a right to be comfortable and look good.

I would tell her that you love the design of the dress, but you'll have to have it longer, or you'll have to choose a different dress.
posted by dejah420 at 5:42 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

On the exercise front, I looove bikes and recommend them to everyone, but a much easier and less-complex solution to this specific goal is to get a portable stair-stepper such as this. Used for 1/2 hour or so every day while watching the news would do wonders for your legs. All in the privacy of your home, with no rain or traffic to deal with.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 6:39 PM on April 3, 2011

I am a guy (duh) that does not have specific advice other than to tell you that if you tan your legs more than a little, tan your arms, shoulders, etc too or it will be weird looking seeing your tanned legs and pale upper body. Don't have the contrast be extreme.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:54 PM on April 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

I am going to suggest nude fishnets, if you can get away with them. Nude fishnet pros for me are that they prevent the blinding whiteness of my legs from showing through, but they are also not nylons (not shiny, not even a little bit, and not constricting in the same way). I feel like I can wear them and not be all freakyity freak white.
posted by Medieval Maven at 7:10 PM on April 3, 2011 [5 favorites]

Nthing lunges and squats and hip bridges, if only because I got back to the gym in Jan after a long hiatus and looked into the mirror a couple of weeks ago and was startled by how nice my legs were looking (though I haven't dropped a pound of weight). Three months can make a REAL difference, and all you need is 30 minutes, three times a week.

I'm a defiant fan of the blinding whiteness of my own legs, so I'll let others talk about that. I really like nude high heels, though, because they seem to visually extend the length of the leg, making it appear slimmer. So I'm with you on that tactic!
posted by artemisia at 7:25 PM on April 3, 2011

I completely agree with the advice for highest heels that are comfortable for you, will help slim the appearance of your legs. However, I would advise to NOT wear stockings with those heels. Your feet WILL slide downward the entire time, your toes will be killing you, you won't be able to hang on the shoes with your feet, and you end up basically "tip toe" walking trying to hang onto the shoes through the stockings. This happened to me over the holidays: nice dress and shoes, but too cold without stockings, and I spent the whole night looking for the next chair to sit in because my toes were all bunched together and in pain~~in a normally comfortable pair of heels. I agree with the exercising and spray tan.
posted by foxhat10 at 8:30 PM on April 3, 2011

Seconding nude fishnets. But, make sure if they have a solid bottom that it doesn't show with the shoes you're wearing.
posted by vespabelle at 8:53 PM on April 3, 2011

pretend you're dita von teese, and rock your pallor. maybe some fifties-style makeup too.

i'm curious, though...you've been asked by the bride to wear a particular dress? is this a theme-wedding? if not, and you are not a member of the wedding party, this is unconscionably rude, and you can feel free to ignore said request.
posted by heigh-hothederryo at 9:12 PM on April 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wearing high heels will make a bigger difference in the appearance of your legs than stockings. I'm going to echo foxhat10 and say absolutely do not do those two things together. Also, hose look like hose, no amount of "well these don't REALLY look like hose..." is going to change the fact that everyone will be able to tell you're wearing hose. Fake tan your legs (to the point where they will match the color of the rest of your body), exercise, and moisturize like crazy in the days leading up to the wedding.
posted by kro at 9:17 PM on April 3, 2011

Fake tan, applied well, hides a host of sins. It'll make a big difference, especially with the lumps.
posted by whoaali at 11:39 PM on April 3, 2011

Even if this is a theme-wedding, you know you don't have to go through with it, right? It would help if we knew why the bride was demanding this of you.

She's demanding that you wear black to a wedding, and a short dress to a wedding, both of which are exactly what you DON'T wear to a wedding. Also, she's demanding that you display your most unfavourite feature by wearing this dress. If you are part of the bridal party and she's imposing the same dress on all the bridesmaids, well if all the bridesmaids are in black, huh but that's her taste. If the dress is short for all the bridesmaids, eh??? but that's her taste. But you still have every right to say you don't think such a short dress looks good on you and you would like a lower hemline.

If you're not part of the bridal party she really can't make you wear any specific thing. You don't have to go along with the theme of a theme wedding, because that would be a rude imposition on you as a guest. You can go along with the theme and wear a different dress.
posted by tel3path at 3:14 AM on April 4, 2011

Just popping back in to say, if you need some foot comfort or are afraid of slippery feet, these little things are pretty awesome. I'm going to be in a wedding in May, and I'll be rocking some shoe inserts. Because I'm five feet tall, and I need some vertical help+comfort.
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:20 AM on April 4, 2011

Are you sure there isn't enough fabric in the hem of the dress to have a pro (or a fairly skilled friend) let it down by a couple of inches? It could make a big difference to where it hits on your legs and no one would know you'd done anything to it.

I just did this myself with a dress that didn't have much extra fabric in the hem, and I was able to use a wide bias tape strip to make the absolute most of it and lengthen it by about an inch and a half. Hard to explain but totally worth it, have a good alterationist take a look.
posted by crabintheocean at 2:17 PM on April 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you don't want to go the fake tan route, use a glimmer lotion...it makes a huge difference when I show off my pasty legs in the summer. I use Soap & Glory Glow Lotion. Urban Decay Midnight Cowboy is also supposed to be good.
posted by vanitas at 3:10 PM on May 11, 2011